Mailbox Ask Bob
Bob Servant, window cleaning kingpin and beneficiary of Dundee’s Cheeseburger Wars, turns Agony Uncle for The List
Bob, Bit worried about the wife. She has started limiting my portions because she says she will be ‘embarrassed on the beach’ during our forthcoming fortnight in Tenerife. How can I put her right? Rob M Rob, There are many ways in which your dragon of a wife might embarrass herself on the beach and you are not one of them. Knowing your wife as I do Rob, I think she’s far more likely to embarrass herself through her appalling walk and her habit of calling pedalos ‘portaloos’. If I can speak openly Rob, and I think I have earned the right to do so, your wife is an appalling human being who has plagued you for far too long. If you should take her out on the lilos and ‘accidentally’ lose her in a wee ‘tsunami’ then I don’t think anyone would blame you. Least of all me. Safe flight, Bob
Bob, Terrible scenes from London there. Just checking in that Dundee wasn’t affected. Sarah Hello there, I was as shocked as you were Sarah, it looked like Dundee Debenhams on Boxing Day but without the humour. The only whispers of trouble I heard in Dundee was my neighbour Frank saying he ‘heard someone on the roof’ but the amount of times he tells me that you’d think he’s got the entire cast of Ben Hur up there. So Dundee stands undefeated as ever. Let’s not forget that the Nazis couldn’t take Dundee, Sarah. I mean, the Nazis didn’t actually attempt to take Dundee, but I would argue that the fact they never tried speaks volumes. Stay safe, Bob
Send your questions to bob@bobservant.com twitter.com/bobservant
LETTER OF THE ISSUE TIME FOR A RESTIVAL? At last, the Fringe is over, the streets are now (nearly) devoid of dreadlocked jugglers, and I can walk from George IV Bridge to North Bridge in less than half an hour. September must be the time all Edinburghers look forward to most . . . or at least, the first couple of weeks of it. Now that I’ve had a chance to recover, I very much miss the excitement of it all. Roll on next August! H Bradigan, Edinburgh
Editor’s note: Fat chance of a break I'm afraid. There’s too much going on between now and Hogmanay for a rest. We think there might be a brief window around February when it’s going to get a tad quieter. Until then it would be a disappointment to miss out on any of our autumn highlights.
APOLOGY Apologies to Neil Thomas Douglas whose photograph of author Alan Bissett was not credited on page 82 of the last issue (687). You can see more of Neil’s photography at neilthomasdouglas.com
NEXT ISSUE Wednesday 19 October
NEW YEAR GETAWAYS Our guide to the best places to spend Hoggers 2011/12, including hot Scot cottages to rent out. CHEAP PINTS Cheap beer doesn't have to be bad beer. We go on the hunt for the perfect wallet-friendly pint.
120 THE LIST 22 Sep–20 Oct 2011
CONTRIBUTORS Publisher & General Editor
Robin Hodge Director Simon Dessain
EDITORIAL
Editor Jonny Ensall Deputy Editor Claire Sawers
Assistant Editor Henry Northmore,
Allan Radcliffe Research Manager
Laura Ennor Research
Alex Johnston, Tamara Le Vasan, David Pollock, Fiona Shepherd,
Kirstyn Smith Editorial Assistant
Niki Boyle Editorial Intern
Robbie Lawrence, Natalya Wells SALES & MARKETING
Media Sales Manager Juliet Tweedie
Media Sales Executive Jude Moir, Nicky Carter,
Lindsay Paul Digital Sales Executive
Freya Cowan Digital Commercial
Manager Brendan Miles
Sponsorship & Promotions
Manager Sheri Friers
Promotions Executive
Amy Russell
Circulation Executive Murray Robertson
PRODUCTION Senior Designer
Lucy Munro Production Manager
Simon Armin
DIGITAL Web Editor Hamish Brown
Senior Developer Andy Carmichael Senior Designer Bruce Combe
Software Developer Iain McCusker
Digital Design Assistant
Daniella Zelli
ADMINISTRATION Accounts Manager Georgette Renwick
SECTION EDITORS Around Town Kirstin Innes
Books/Comedy Brian Donaldson Clubs/Play Henry Northmore
Dance/Kids Kelly Apter Food & Drink Donald Reid
Film Paul Dale LGBT Lauren Mayberry
Music/Shopping Claire Sawers
Noticeboard Anna Millar Theatre/Visual Art
Allan Radcliffe