Mailbox Ask Bob

Bob Servant, window cleaning kingpin and beneficiary of Dundee’s Cheeseburger Wars, turns Agony Uncle for The List

Bob, Bit worried about the wife. She has started limiting my portions because she says she will be ‘embarrassed on the beach’ during our forthcoming fortnight in Tenerife. How can I put her right? Rob M Rob, There are many ways in which your dragon of a wife might embarrass herself on the beach and you are not one of them. Knowing your wife as I do Rob, I think she’s far more likely to embarrass herself through her appalling walk and her habit of calling pedalos ‘portaloos’. If I can speak openly Rob, and I think I have earned the right to do so, your wife is an appalling human being who has plagued you for far too long. If you should take her out on the lilos and ‘accidentally’ lose her in a wee ‘tsunami’ then I don’t think anyone would blame you. Least of all me. Safe flight, Bob

Bob, Terrible scenes from London there. Just checking in that Dundee wasn’t affected. Sarah Hello there, I was as shocked as you were Sarah, it looked like Dundee Debenhams on Boxing Day but without the humour. The only whispers of trouble I heard in Dundee was my neighbour Frank saying he ‘heard someone on the roof’ but the amount of times he tells me that you’d think he’s got the entire cast of Ben Hur up there. So Dundee stands undefeated as ever. Let’s not forget that the Nazis couldn’t take Dundee, Sarah. I mean, the Nazis didn’t actually attempt to take Dundee, but I would argue that the fact they never tried speaks volumes. Stay safe, Bob

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LETTER OF THE ISSUE TIME FOR A RESTIVAL? At last, the Fringe is over, the streets are now (nearly) devoid of dreadlocked jugglers, and I can walk from George IV Bridge to North Bridge in less than half an hour. September must be the time all Edinburghers look forward to most . . . or at least, the first couple of weeks of it. Now that I’ve had a chance to recover, I very much miss the excitement of it all. Roll on next August! H Bradigan, Edinburgh

Editor’s note: Fat chance of a break I'm afraid. There’s too much going on between now and Hogmanay for a rest. We think there might be a brief window around February when it’s going to get a tad quieter. Until then it would be a disappointment to miss out on any of our autumn highlights.

APOLOGY Apologies to Neil Thomas Douglas whose photograph of author Alan Bissett was not credited on page 82 of the last issue (687). You can see more of Neil’s photography at

NEXT ISSUE Wednesday 19 October

NEW YEAR GETAWAYS Our guide to the best places to spend Hoggers 2011/12, including hot Scot cottages to rent out. CHEAP PINTS Cheap beer doesn't have to be bad beer. We go on the hunt for the perfect wallet-friendly pint.

120 THE LIST 22 Sep–20 Oct 2011

CONTRIBUTORS Publisher & General Editor

Robin Hodge Director Simon Dessain


Editor Jonny Ensall Deputy Editor Claire Sawers

Assistant Editor Henry Northmore,

Allan Radcliffe Research Manager

Laura Ennor Research

Alex Johnston, Tamara Le Vasan, David Pollock, Fiona Shepherd,

Kirstyn Smith Editorial Assistant

Niki Boyle Editorial Intern

Robbie Lawrence, Natalya Wells SALES & MARKETING

Media Sales Manager Juliet Tweedie

Media Sales Executive Jude Moir, Nicky Carter,

Lindsay Paul Digital Sales Executive

Freya Cowan Digital Commercial

Manager Brendan Miles

Sponsorship & Promotions

Manager Sheri Friers

Promotions Executive

Amy Russell

Circulation Executive Murray Robertson

PRODUCTION Senior Designer

Lucy Munro Production Manager

Simon Armin

DIGITAL Web Editor Hamish Brown

Senior Developer Andy Carmichael Senior Designer Bruce Combe

Software Developer Iain McCusker

Digital Design Assistant

Daniella Zelli

ADMINISTRATION Accounts Manager Georgette Renwick

SECTION EDITORS Around Town Kirstin Innes

Books/Comedy Brian Donaldson Clubs/Play Henry Northmore

Dance/Kids Kelly Apter Food & Drink Donald Reid

Film Paul Dale LGBT Lauren Mayberry

Music/Shopping Claire Sawers

Noticeboard Anna Millar Theatre/Visual Art

Allan Radcliffe