First&Last The former star of Smack the Pony and I’m Alan Partridge, and writer of new film The Decoy Bride, discusses fish pie, Narnia and missing out on the Rear of the Year Award
First record you ever bought ‘A New England’ by Kirsty MacColl. Last extravagant purchase you made A much larger than necessary Mac desktop.
voice. It was surprising, then confusing, then amusing, then, when it didn’t stop and they followed me into the bathrooms, quite frightening. Last crime you committed
Sat in the back seat of a car without a seatbelt. I’m the British Hell-Cat Maggie. My life would make a
S A L L Y P H I L L I P S
pretty good thriller.
First three words your friends would use to describe you No idea. I hope wretched, mean and demented wouldn’t feature.
truth be told, I’m unlikely to win either.
Last thing you recommended to someone Weeds. I’m addicted. It’s such a strange hybrid of genres – and I love Elizabeth Perkins. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Is the baby still breathing?
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep How long is the baby going to sleep? ■ The Decoy Bride is on selected release from Fri 9 Mar and on DVD from Mon 12 Mar. See review, page 70.
First movie you ever went on a date to Terry Gilliam’s Brazil. The film was a lot better than the date. Last time you cried 4am this morning – all three children were awake and wanting to play.
First thing you do when you’ve got time off work My middle son and I are actually Lois Lane and Superboy – so he saves Metropolis from disasters while I photograph him and swoon at his super-ness. Last great meal you cooked A big Sunday lunch for friends.
First crush James Kaberry, aged 5. He promised to marry me but has reneged. Last book you read The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.
First great piece of advice you were given I’m still waiting for some really decent advice.
Last time you were star struck Neil [Jaworski, co-writer] and I had spent four years doing impressions of Kelly MacDonald at each other while we wrote The Decoy Bride so when we finally met her it was a big deal. First thing you’d do if you ran the country Freak out. I’m running-the-country-phobic.
Last meal on earth – what would it be Mother’s fish pie and my own weight in chocolate. First song you’ll sing at karaoke ‘Come on Feet’ by Pete and the Pirates.
Last time you exploited your position to get something I’m right now wearing a super-deluxe Peaks of London top they gave me in exchange for wearing one of their dresses at the Decoy Bride premiere.
First time you realised you were famous Someone followed me up a series of escalators screaming ‘A-ha, A-ha’ in an Alan Partridge 6 THE LIST 1–29 Mar 2012
Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it Bad impulse buys make you feel grim, don’t they? It’s like having consumer Tourettes. I gravitate towards austere foreign language film DVDs when insecure. They’re expensive and a high proportion are unwatchably bleak and I probably don’t even like them and nobody even knows I’ve got them and I DON’T actually have to watch them for work because I’m not Javier Bardem so who am I trying to impress etc etc.
First job Working for Oxford City Council in the Stationery department. A Local Government Stationery Store is something to behold. It’s like walking through the back of a cupboard into a really dull Narnia.
Last person you fantasised about My husband of course. First song at your wedding ‘Me Gustas Tu’ by Manu Chao.
Last song at your funeral ‘Five little ducks went swimming one day’, the operatic aria version – but without the bit where the Daddy duck quacks and the five little ducks come swimming back. Make ’em weep. First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech Depends on what you’re getting the award for. I mean, Rear of the Year would have a different thankee to Oscar for Best Screenplay, though,
‘I’M THE BRITISH HELL-CAT MAGGIE’