Bruce Willis wants me fired
Does the world need film critics any more? As the Da Vince Code. despite being slated by the hacks, notches up over E300m in box office revenues. one film writer isn’t ready to be put out to grass just yet.
ten years ago. Hruee \\'illis tried to make me
redundant. It‘s not eyery day I'm giyen my
marehing orders by a llollyyyood star. so let me explain. I‘m a lilm eritie. and in NW .\’lr \Villis used the premiere iii The H/t/t li/eme/il to disparage my pt‘olesslott. ‘.'\'o one here pays attention to rey ieyysf he said. drayy iiig attention to the terrible rey ieyys of his sei ti moyie. "the printed word is goitig the way ol the dinosaui‘.‘
OK. so Bruee didn‘t quite hand me a l’JS. bitt his remarks abottt the irreleyanee ol' liliii erities suggested I should start looking l‘or other \york. Well. almost ten years on. I‘m still in the l'iIm-i'eyieyying business and Bmee is still making terrible moy ies. But I \yas reminded of his remarks by a reeent attiele in a lilm—industry trade paper. Last week the [IN/[\‘lt'nlnl Reporter suggested that tilm rey ieyy ing in neyy'spapers and maga/ine is in terminal deeline. l-‘aeed “ith the popttlarity of online moyie blogs and the huge marketing spend ol big llollyyy'ood bloekbusters. print-based eritieism yy as last beeoming an old- media anaehronism. Reporting on the retirement of long—standing. big-name erities from some ol‘Ameriea‘s leading neyy'spapet's. the attiele alluded to the diminishing inlluenee ol' pi'ol'essional lilm rey'ieyy'ers. The sueeess of films like The [M tt‘m-t ('mle merely proy es erities hay e outliyed our ttsel'ttlness: despite its terrible rey ieyy s. the film was a huge hit. .\'o one listens to erities. the thinking goes. so why bother \yith them'.’ It should hay e made glootny reading. but I‘m not ready to hang tip my notebook just yet. l‘or one. the idea that et'ities exist to tell people What they should and shouldn‘t see. fundamentally misunderstands our role.
film-going isn't like buying a kettle. yyhet‘e you ean objeetiy'ely rate a product‘s perl’ormanee. I would strongly ady'ise anyone against buying a kettle that takes three bows to boil water. But rating a moy ie inyoly es all kinds of sttbieetiy‘e eoneerns. A big—budget 'thriller' like The Ha l't'tiet ('m/e offers a eompletely different experienee from a sloyy-buming Iranian lilm shot entirely from the front seat of a moying ear. btit l'd ney er be so presumptuous as to tell readers to see one rather than the other. As a i'ey‘ieyy er all I eaii do is honestly gattge my reaction to eaeli lilm and tiy to eonyey this in a readable way. It‘s up to readers \y hether they listen or not.
()l' eourse \y'e stmggle to make our obieetions eottnt in the hue ol' the huge marketing spend ol‘ big-budget moyies. (‘osting the equiyalent ot' the (il)l’ oi some small nations. these massiy e Press eampaigns are last- moying juggemauts that llatten eyetything in their \yay. hyping tip moy‘ies to must-see proponions so that people feel y'aguely inadequate it‘ they hayeti't paid their £8 to
10 THE LIST 3;? eltio o .J.. .,\\ it?
FILM CRITICS DON'T EXIST TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T
lind ottt \yltat all the hiss is about lloes that mean tittit s should quietly stand by and keep tlieit lt‘\t‘l\.tllt>lt\ about \ttllle til these ltlttt'kbtlsleh lit lllelilsebes ' \tt! likel‘» ll l see some poor souls blithely stioll into the path oi the t in eoiiiing. llll mile an hotti. ten ion I“ i\ that is //it It. \i/it'l (tit/e l‘lll going to share \\ltll them my unhappy iiiemoi‘ies ot the eneoiiiitei, “in” they leaiti tiom my eypei'ienee is their eoneei’n; itist don‘t eypeet me to reiiiibtii‘se the t.l\’.
(‘rities ean also make a ditlei‘eitee \\llelt it eomt s to smaller lllt)\ ies. I don‘t lltiltk “Hike/ital .l/uit/i/ti/ii yyottltl haye been the hit ol' the last 1.7 months \yithoui the support ol lilm rey le\\el\. :\ sensitiy e on e stoiy betueeii tyyo gay eoyyboys is a ti‘ieky one to maiket. bttt positiye eoy ei'age olthe lllllt by el'lttes bitttsletl Its btt\ ttlllt‘e
.'\nd iiiai‘keteets otteti ignoie eiitit s at tlteit peril. l ast year sayy the ielease ol Hie .Ven lint/(l. a beautilttlly made. haunting moyie abottt the eolomsattoii Ul‘ .-\tttel‘le;t. diluted by \elelalt llllll maker \laIiek. 'l he
distributors released the tilm \yithoitt
‘I‘errenee
sereeiiing it widely to piess. and eliose to market it as a soppy histoiital romanee along the lines ol /l/t."’li. l’redietably the only tltiiig \laliek's lilm had in eommon \\llll that eitiise liner \yas tltat it sank yy itliotit tiat e. liyen it \ye had tio impaet oii the bo\»oll'iee perl‘ormanee ol lilms I'd still aigue tliat L'l'lllel\lll is neeessary. People We to read about moy ies; attd a good lilm reyieyy is one ol the ieasons me buy neyyspapei's and iiiaga/ines. l ean think ot many \‘.lllet\ \yhose opinions I think are as \alid as tlitee potiiid notes. bill I loye reading them beeause they espiess then \ |e\\s yyith sueh style and yyit; sotiiething you don't get iiitieli ol ill reyieyys oli. \tty. kettles. (Me Hi the gteal things
about at't is the may it proyokes eomment and debate. that to me is the point ol' lilm eritieism. and I‘ll earry on \yt'iting about lilms l‘or as loiig as there are people like Bruee \Villis making them. lillttt ( )ls' yy ith you llruee'.’
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