' Road. 10.30pm. Free. 0 Maximum Joy Preservation Hall. Victoria Street. 9pm. Free.


O The Styng-Rites Mayfield Leisure Centre. Psychobilly band from Greenock with a massive following. When will the big break come? Has Miles Copeland negotiated a £4m deal for them? I think we should be told.

WEDNESDAY 19 Edinburgh

0 Go FerritThe Place. Victoria Street.

0 Warp Factor 10 Jailhouse. Calton Road. 10.30pm. Free.


0 David Scott Hearts and Minds Fixx. Ex Chewy Raccooner Scott will take


a while to convince the Glaswegian public that the Chewy nonsense is all in the past. Worth watching for a couple of good songs at least.

0 Jeff De Ouincey's. Renfield Street. Free.

0 Tarzanz Milkmen Peachy's. East Kilbride.

THURSDAY 20 Glasgow

0 The Green Telescope The Salt Mine (Lucifer's) Jamaica Street. l(l.3l)pm—3am. £2. Edinburgh Psychedelic/Garage Band.

0 Tarzanz Milkmen Armstrong‘s. Cambuslang.


0 Bow Gamelan Ensemble St Mary‘s

5 Cathedral, Palmerston Place. i 7.30pm. £2, students £1. unwaged


I may try to kid myself on sometimes that pop music has a valid place in energating, motivating, invigorating and pleasing people, buttime and time again the fickle hand of TOTP wags its linger and says - ‘Don’t be a mug it is just a business after all.’ And if Sue Pollard and Nana Mouskouri can get into the chart then there is no reason to assume that Sigue Sigue Sputnick can't.

If what you want is empty rhetoric, silly haircuts, ridiculous posturing and an absolute dearth of real talent then 888 are the band foryou. In much the same way that McLaren hyped the Sex Pistols into national fame status through a series of gestures, wind-ups and hyperbole so Tony James, ten years later (good timing Tone) has planned an assault of the chart and

made it. Good for him, you say, and I hope he’s happy with the money— a reported four million pound deal with a

million quid advance, they say,

; although sources closerto EMI suggest

i a figure more inthe region of £100,000.

For those of you who don’t know (and

3 there can’t be many of you left) Tony

; James has been kicking his heels on

; the dole forthe last couple ofyears

: following the demise of Generation X

and plotted a band that would have all its emphasis on simulating a new age

video technology, feedback, outrage, violence, excitement and wacky gear. For those of you who think that this sounds like the New York Dolls meets Mad Max well, you are right of course. Dragging in the only Blitz Kid not to have wormed his way into the limelight, Martin Degville, he added a camp edge to the performance which totally (as far as I can see) negates all of the aforementioned. But then, nobody's perfect, least of all Sigue Sigue, who although riding in glory high in the charts at the moment have forgotten that in order to survive in this business you have to be able to write songs. I’ll give them a year before they hitthe bargain bins. (Andrea Miller)


ZO'l‘he [.l\l 7 - Ill Mar

free. lfnot the rock listing, where else to put them? Three—piece experimental group using scrap metal. blow torches to outlandish effect. Not to be missed.

0 Chasar Preservation Hall. Victoria Street. 9pm. Free.

0 Holy Joes Jailhouse. Calton Road. 10.30pm. Free.

0 Marc Almond Convention Mad

Hatters. High Street. 7pm. No doubt

videos. music and m-m-memorabilia. Warning: Do


NOT expect the man himselfto attend. He‘s probably cringing at the very thought and would die of embarrassment.


i 0 Heart Industry Warehouse. 23

Kirkgate. inoffensive synth-based pop. Getting local radio play. Penicuik

o Splash Me, I‘m Drowning Royal Hotel. High Street.


0 Things seem to be going absurdly— and deservedly—well for Edinburgh’s finest band The Shop Assistants, getting Safety Net to Number One in the independent charts in only its second week of release. Sources reckon it’s shifting around 8000 copies per week; enough to put it in the Top Fifty with ease were the charts any reflection of actual sales. Which, thanks to ‘priority discs and the complete disregard of Gallup’s ‘code of conduct’, they’re not. Buy Ray Hammond’s eye-opening How lGetA Hit Record for that gen, or better

, still find a chart return shop to buy your 1 copy of Safety Net. . .

, 0 Remember where you heard it first.

a After idle musings in the Christmas

issue of this esteemed organ that Echo and the Bunnymen might not be hopping around much longer, news is coming through that luscious pouting Pete de Freitas, much admired and rarely bettered skin-thumper for that illustrious combo, has taken his leave - not long after the Bunnymen’s year-long break from the scene. For Bluer Skies, we trust. . .

0 Our mole overthe pond furtively taps a message over the wire that American record company interest is growing in Edinburgh’s Screaming Nobodies, following the release of theirtribute to the King of Rock Elvis the Gut, entitled

' Burger King. . . and is the first Shop

Assistants LP to be produced by none otherthan luscious pouting Tommy Ramone?

0 Although none of the Regular Music staff were available for comment at presstime, the opening of Edinburgh‘s new 1700 seat venue The Empire gets a big thumbs-up all round. A big hand also to Steel Pulse forthe music, but the venue itself seems to have been the star of the evening, the bingo-orientated seating inadvertently allowing forthe sort of social evening one couldn’t experience at The Playhouse in a month of Sundays. Security was admirably light, and the chance to buy cases of beer for £4 off to quaff at one’s candlelit table is another definite plus. A black eye was the packed downstairs bar, despite numerous reminders that two flights up was a bar of goodly size which, whenever I poked my nose in, was populated by about five souls at the most. Perhaps no one could find it. Nevertheless, it’s a definite must.

Future acts awaiting include the

luscious pouting Jesus and Mary Chain (but of course!) Tom Robinson, The Communards, Aswad and a long-awaited return visit from The Ramones, including the

aforementioned Tommy. Butthat’s all

in the wake of the appearance on 23 March by the notorious, luscious etc. Cramps. . . of whom, more nexttime. (Mab)

0 Good to see Culture Club back on the telly again and very probably back in the charts with a spanky new single called ‘Move Away'. Boy George hasn’t been idle in the months he disappeared from public view, however— he’s been in America doing silly things like an advert forJapanese gin during filming for which he had to sit about all day swigging iced water.

0 The SubClub is moving yet again! Friday 28 February saw the last SubClub night in Rooftops and at time of press they hadn’t concluded arrangements fora new venue. Graham Wilson, one of the club’s organisers, assured me thatthey will be safely ensconced at a new place in time forthe Flesh gig on 21 March. (Andrea Miller)


The Relations: Big Man’s Shoes (Hush) As a rule I hate copyists, but once in a while a record comes along that is so single-minded in its devotion that it is truly heart-warming. Apart from the barely-heard remark that they’re from Perth I know nothing at all about The Relations, except that they have obviously overdosed on Hatful 0f Hollow somewhere along the line. There’s hardly an inflection in the vocal that Morrisey hasn’t ached over at some time, obscure ‘evocative’ lyrics (‘Snakes don’t bite their next of kin/ Unless their next of kin sheds skin’) and a sly reference to Chuck Berry to shake up the preconceptions. Throughout the song, the guitarist excels. Marr would be so proud.

Nervous Choir: D’David (Cathexis).l used to see the singer wandering around Aberdeen quite a lot, a haircut looking fora video. After listening to this I think I’d rather watch Eraserhead on acid than glimpse the video for it if it ever got made. If you want to embrace whatwas best about Bauhaus, cuddle up to a Pete Murphy TDK poster not

this gloomy Gothic crap