E D I T E D I T E D ID I TTT I O NI O NI O NO NO NO NN X X IX X IX X IX XXX VVV E D I T I O N X X I V BrBrBrBBBrBB ououououououghghghghghghghhhhht t tt t totototoot yyyyyyouououuouu bbbbbbbby yy y yy thhththhthhe e e e e puupupupuuupupupupurrvrrvrvrvrvrrr eyeyeyeyyyeyyyororororooo sssssss ofofofofofofooooo tttttttheheheheheheh mmmmmmmmmosososooo t t t ununununununnnnusususususususssuuususssusuauauaaaaal,l,l,l,l,l,ll HHHHHHHHHENENENENENENENNE DRDRDRDRDRDRD ICICICICICICK’K’K’K’K’KK SSSSSS®®®®® GIGIGIGIIGIGG NNNNNNNN Brought to you by the purveyors of the most unusual, HENDRICK’S® GIN
MINISTRY OF MARGINALLY (cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149) S U P E R I O R T R A N S P O R T (cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149) (cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149) (cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149)(cid:149) LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT LOOKS TO MAKE TRANSPORT ~ ~ MARGINALLY S UPERIOR ~ ~ MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS UUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
CUCUMBER FACT
Forget what you’ve been told - FoFoFoFoFoFFoFooorgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgetetetettetetetetet wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhahhahhhahhahahahh t t t tt t yyoyoyoyoyooyoooyoou’u’u’u’u’u’u’u’uuuuuuuuuuu veveveveveveveevevevee bbbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen n n nnn n tototototot ldldldldldldlddld ----- the CUCUMBER is not a fruit or a thththththththhe e e e ee eeee CUCUCUCUCUCUCUCUCUCUUCUUUCUCUCUCUCUCUCUCUUCC MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMM ERERERERERERRRRREE iiiiiiiisss s s s s nonononononononnoooot ttt t t aaaaaa aa aaaa frfrfrfrfrrfrfrfrfrrrff uiuiuiuiuiuiuiiuiitt t t t ttttt orororororroro aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa vegetable; it is actually a portal into vevevevevevvev gegegeggeeeggeg tatatatataaaaaabblblblblblblblbllllbbb e;e;e;e;ee;e;eee;eee;eeeeeeeeeeeeeee; iiiiiiit ttt ttt isisisssiisisissis aaaaaaactcttctctctcccc uauauauauaaaaaallllllllllll y y y y yy a a a a a a popopopopopopopoppopopop rtrtrtrtrrtrtrtalalalalalalala iiiiiiiiiintnntntntntnnttntnnnn o o oo o oooooooo ananananootototthehehehheher r r r r dididididdddiddimemmemmemmmm nssnsnsn ioioioiii n.n.n.nnnnnn another dimension. RRRRR
MAKE YOUR JOURNEY MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOORRRRR MARGINALLY SUPERIOR IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! IMMEDIATELY!
Has your journey gone de- HaHaHaHHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHHaHHaHHHHHHaHHHHH s s s sss s ssss yoyoyoyoyoyoyyy urururururururu jjjjjjjjjouououououououuuuurnrnrnrnrrnnrrrnrrrnnnnnr eyeyeyeeeyeyey ggggggggggggonononononone ee eee dedededededeed ----- cidedly PEAR SHAPED? ciciciciciciciciciiicidedededdedededededededldldldldldldlddddlldd y y y y yy yyyy PEPEPPPEPEPEPEPEPEEPEARARARARARARARARARARARA SSSSSSSSSSHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHAHAPEPEPEEPEPEEPEPPEP D?D?D?D?D?D?D?D If so, please do GET IN IfIfIfIfIffIfIfIfIffIIffff sssssssso,o,o,o,o,oo,o,oooo, ppppppppppplelelelelelelelleleeleel aasasasasasasaa eeeeeeeee dododododododododododododo GEGEGEGEGEGEGEGEEEEEEGGEGGGGGGGEGGEETTTTTTT INININNINNININNININ TOUCH, and we’ll offer TOTOTOTOTOTTOTOTOTTOTOTOTOTOOUCUCUCUCUCUCUUCUCUCUCUCUCHHHHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,, anananananananannannnnannd d d d dd d dddddd wewewewewewewewewewwe’l’ll’l’l’l’l’ll ll lllll ofoofofofofoffoo fefefefeefeferrrrrr CALMING or distract- CACACACACACACACACACACACAAC LMLMLMLMLMLMLMLMLMLMMMMMMMMINININININININNNINNIIININGGGGGGGGGGGG oooooooooooor r r r r rrrr dddddididididididididdid ststststrarararaaactctctctctct---- ing words to ease your ininininininininnni g gggg g gg g gg wwowowowowowowowowowoordrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrrrdrdssssss totototototototottttt eeeeeeeeeaasasasaasasassaseee e e ee e yoyoyoyoyoyoyourururururr throbbing brow. Share thththththhthththththththt rorororororororoororor bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbininininininininining ggg gg g g ggggg brbrbrbrbrbrbrbbbbbbrrrbrowowowowowowowowowowoowoooww.... ShShShShShShhhShSharararararrarraaa eeeeee your travel WOES, com- yoyyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyyyyy ururururururuurruruuuuuu tttttttttrararararararrrrrarararaveveveveveveeveveveveeeeel l llll l lll WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOOWOOOWOWOESESESESESESESEESESESESESSS,,,,,, cococococococccccc mmmmmmmm------ muter observations, or mmmumumumumumumumumumumumumuutetetetetetetetettetetetetetetterrrrrr rr rr r rr rrrrr obobobboboobobobobobobbobobbbobobobobobobseseseeeeeeeeserrvrrvrvrvrvrrvrrvvatatatatttatatioioioioioioioiioioii nsnsnsnnnsnsnnsnsnsn ,, ,, , ,,, orororororororrorororroroorr journey joys on that big jjjjjjjoojojojjojojjojjjjjjjojjjjj ururururururneneneneeneney y y yyyy jojojojojojoysysysysysy oooooooonnnnnnnn ththththhththhhaaaatataataaaaa bbbigigigigg screaming lobster that is scscsscscscsscscss rererererereeeeeeamamamamammmininininininnng g g g g ggggg lololollolooooloobsbsbsbsbsbbbbb tetetett r rrrrr thththththththatatatatt iiiiiiss ssss the TWITTER. thththtthththtthe eee ee TWTWTWTWTWTWTWWTWTT ITITITITTITTTTTITTITITTETETETETTETERRRRRRR....
For too long commuters have suffered FoFoFoFoor r r r rr totototttotototototooo oooo o lololololollongngngngngngngg cccomomomomomo mumumumumumumuteteteteetersrsrsrsrs hhhhhhhhavavavavavavavavavvvave e eeee ee susususuuffffffffffffffererererrredededededd a claustrophobic life of caffeine, crowds a a a aaaa clclclclllauauauauuuustststststststrororoooroorophphphphphhhhphpppppp obobobo icicicicic llllififififfifffe e e ee e ofofofoffofffof cccccccafafafafafaffafaffefefefefefeininininininne,e,e,e,ee ccccccrororororr wdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwdwds s s s and cantankerous pushing and shoving. ananand d d d cacacacacaccaantntntntntn anannananankekekekekekk rorrrroroususususs pppppppppppppppususususususuuu hihihihihihingngngngngngg aaaaandndndndd ssssshohohohohohohovivivivivivivvvv ngngngngngngnnn ... BuBuBuBuBuBBBB t t t tt TOTOTOTOTOOTOOODADADADADADADADAYYYYYYYYY tttttthehehehheh hhhhhhheaeaeaeaeaad d d d dd ofofofofofofoff ttttttthehehehehehheh But TODAY the head of the formed Ministry of newly nenenenenn wlwlwlwllwwww y y yyy y fofofofofooormrmmmrmrmrmededededd MiMiMiMiiMMMiMMM ninininininistststststs ryryryryryrrr oooooof f f fff MaMaMaMaMaMaM rgrgrgrginininnininalalalallalalllylylylylylyy SSSSupupupuppuppupupperererrereeee ioioiooioioooooooor r r rrrrr TrTrTrTrTrTrTranananananansssssssss--- Marginally Superior Trans- port (MMST) announced a se- ---- popoppopoppoortrtrtrttrtrt ((((tttt MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM STSTSTSTTSS ))))) ananannanannononnonoounuunununceceeceeeced d d d a aaa a sesesesesese ririririiiesesesese oooof f f f trtrtrtrivivivivivviaiaiiaiaal,l,lll,l, bbbbbbbututututuut dddddddddeleleleeligigigigigighthththththtfufufufufuuul,l,l,l,lll iiiimmmmmmm---- ries of trivial, but delightful, im- prprprprpppp ovovovovovovvvememememe enenenentststststs ttttto o oo o gigigigiig veveveveeveee cccccomomomomoommumumumumutetetetet rsrssrsrsrss provements to give commuters a a aa aaa slslslslowowowowowwoo erererererr aaaaaandndndndndndn mmmmmororororore ee ee plplplplpleaeaeaeaeasusuuususus rarararar bbblblblblbbbb ee e e ee a slower and more pleasurable TTTTTTT
TTTTT jojojojojojojjjjjjjjj ururururururrurururururrurnenenenenennn y.y.yy.y.y.yy SSSSSpepepepepepep akakakakakkakinininininining g g g g g frfrfrfrfrffrf omomomomommom hhhhhhhhisisisisii bbbatatatatatathhhhh---- journey. Speaking from his bath- tutututututuuutuuuub b b b bbbbb b bbbbb bbb ininiinininiinii GGGGGGGGiriririririrvavavavavvan,n,n,n,n, SSSSSSSSScocococcococotltltltllttlanananananand,d,d,d,d, HHHHHHeaeaeaeeaeae d d d dd ofofofofofof tub in Girvan, Scotland, Head of the MMST, David Piper, declared ththtthththeee e ee MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMSTSTSTSTSTST,,,,,, DDDDDDavavavavavavavvavvidididididid PPPPPPipipipipipiperererererer, ,, , , dededededed clclcllclllarararraredededededd ththththhthththththtththee e e e opopopoppenenenennninininining g g gggg g ggg ofofofofofof ‘‘‘DaDaDaDaDDaD wdwdwdwdwddwdlelelelele HHHHHHHHHouououour’r’r’r’r’rrr ... the opening of ‘Dawdle Hour’. ““““““““CoCoCoCoCCCCCCCCCC mmmmmmmmmmmm ututututu inininning g g g gg g gg cacacacacaccaacan nnnn n bebeebebebbb dededededededdedededeedeepepepepepepeplylylylylyly uuuuuuunnnnnnn--- “Commuting can be deeply un- plplplpleaeaeaeaaeaasasasasasasantntntntnt, , , , mamamamamaaininininiinnlylylylylylyyyyyyyyy ddddddueueueuee tttto o o o o ththththththhthhhhhhe e e e eee e eeeeeee stsstststssttiflifliflfliflifliflininininnininng g g g ggg pleasant, mainly due to the stifling cocococondndndndnddndititititititioioioioioionsnsnsnsnsn aaaaaaaaandndndndnnd ssssenenenenene sesesesese oooooof f f f ff f urururururrrrgegegegeggegeggggegggegeg ncnncncnccnnnnccy.y.y.y.y.y. BBBBBByy y yy yyy rererererere---- conditions and sense of urgency. By re- momomomomomovivivivivivingngngngn bbbbbbototototototo h h h hhhh ofoffofofofoffffffofff tttttthehehehehessesesee pppprororoblblblblbbllemememememe s s s s wewewewe wwwwwwwwwwilililill l ll moving both of these problems we will crcrrcrcc eaeaeaeaeatetetete aaaaaaa hahahahahah pppppppppppppieieieieeieier rr rr r wowowowowowoww rlrlrlrlrr ddddd”””” create a happier world” InIInInInnIIIIInI rrrrreseseseesspopopopopopooppopooopoponsnsnsnsnsnsnssssse ee e e eeee tototototoo qqqqqqqueueueueuuu stststststioioioioonsnsnsnsn aaaabobobbbobobouutututu In response to questions about
whwhwhwhwheteteetetheheheheher r r r ththththththhtht ee eee mimimimimimim nininininiststststsss ryryryryry wwwwwwasasasasa aaaaffiffiffiffiffiffililililililiatatatatatatatt---- whether the ministry was affiliat- edededede wwwwwwititititi h h h h h HeHeHeHeeHeHeenddndndndndnnnnnnddnnnn ririririiririckckckckckckk’s’s’s’s’s’s GGGGGGGininininn, ,,, , DaDDaDaDaDaDD viviviviviviid d d d ddd ed with Hendrick’s Gin, David rerererereplplplpplllieieieeied dddd ----- “Y“Y“Y“Y“YYeseseseses, , ,, ofofofofofof ccccouououuouuuuuuouursrsrsrsrsrrrr e e e e wewewewew aaaaarererererr ---- iiiiiiiiit’t’t’t’t’t’t s s sss replied - “Yes, of course we are - it’s lololololoveveveveveelylylylyly”””” bebebbebebefofofofofoorererererere ccccchehehehehehewiwiwiwiw ngngngngg ttttttttheheheheheh hhhhhhhhheaeaeaeaeaeae dd d d dddd lovely” before chewing the head ofofofffoofofff f f f f ff a a aa a cucucucuuuuucucucucucuumbmbmbmbbmbm ererererer aaaaandndndndndn wwwwwwalalalalallllkikikkikikingngngngnggng off a cucumber and walking awawawawawwayayayayaaaayyyay ggggggigiigigigigigglglglglglg ininininninnnnng.g.g.g.ggg away giggling.
~ TWEET US ~ ~~~~~ TWETWETWETWETWET ETETETETETTTT US US US S ~~~~~~
@HendricksginUK @H@H@H@H@H@H@HH@Henenenenee drdrdrdrdrd icicicickskskskskskssgiggigigigiginUnUnUnUnUnUnUnUK KK KK KK #H#H#H#H#H#H#H#HH#H#HHHHHHH### enenenenennenne drdrdrddrdricicicicicckskskskk MiMiMiMiMiMMMMMMMM ninininininiin stststtststs ryryryryryryry #HendricksMinistry ––– –
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Please enjoy the unusual responsibly Hendrick’s Gin, 41.4% abv © 2016 Bottled by William Grant & Sons LTD, Glasgow, Scotland PlePlePlePlePP aseaseasee enenene joyjoyjoyoyyyj yj y ththththhthe ue ue ue uuunusnusnusnus lualualualuaaa rrererer spospspospopopppp nsinsinsinsiblyblyblyblyblylyyy HeHeHeHHHHHeHHendrndrndrndrndrndrndrdrn ickickickickckckkiccc ’s ’s ’s ss GinGGGGinGininin, 4, 4, 4, 4, 41.41.41.4.41.4% a% a% a% a%% bv bv bv bv © 2© 2© 2© 22© 2016016016016016016 BBBBBBottottottottotttledledledledlel d bybybyb WiWiWiWiWiWW llillillillilliam am am am am m m GraGraGraGraGraaaantntnntntnt nt nt & S& S& S& S& S& onsonsonsonsonsonsss LTDLTDLTDLTDLTDTDLTT , G, G, G, Glaslaslaslaaaa gowgowgowwow, S, S, Scottotcotcocototlanlanlanlaa ddddd DDDD
T H E U N U S UA L T I M E S T H ET H ET H EH ET H ETT H ETT U NU NU NU NUUU NUUU NU N U S UU S UU S UUU S UU S UA L A L A LA L L T I MT I MT I MMM E SE SE SE SEE