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FIRST&LAST NICK OFFERMAN The star of Parks and Recreation, Fargo and Lego Movie 2 takes on our Q&A in which he discusses babysitters, Bob Newhart, beer and belt sanders
First record you ever bought The Monkees Greatest Hits ordered off the TV with chore money. Last extravagant purchase you made A 1993 SCMI MiniMax dimensional belt sander for Offerman Woodshop, 25” width. After the fixes it needed, the ‘bargain’ became twice as extravagant.
First film you saw that really moved you The Rescuers in 1977. I was seven years old and it was a big deal to drive over to the movie theatre in Morris, IL. I was swept away by the story, Bob Newhart, Eva Gabor, and the plucky mosquito / outboard motor Evinrude.
Last lie you told I’m not that tired.
First movie you ever went on a date to The Princess Bride.
Last time you cried Wrapping six months of work on new FX series Devs with Alex Garland. The project and people were so exquisite that I cried at having to leave. First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Head towards my wife.
Last great meal you cooked Dinner for ten. Burgers from scratch and king salmon on the grill, corn . . . my way. Wilted kale / almond / blueberry salad, Kettle Chips. And for dessert, key lime pie.
First crush Kelly Ward, my babysitter. 128 THE LIST 1 Jun–31 Aug 2019
Last book you read How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan.
First great piece of advice you were given Work hard and tell the truth: my mom and dad.
Last time you were starstruck Talking to Randy Newman backstage at The Greek Theatre in Los Angeles. Or, in another sense, this morning when Megan Mullally slapped me for stealing her bacon. First thing you’d do if you ran the country Reinstate shop class.
Last meal on earth A moderate ball of opium.
First time you realised you were famous When people began to yell ‘Ron!’ at me from a block away when they spotted my moustache. Last time someone criticised your work I ask Megan for constructive criticism most every day, and she is generous and fair in her delivery. I am certainly much better than I would be without her tips.
Beyond her, I do get criticism of my books and comedy shows from narrow-minded people, usually offended on behalf of some right- wing ideology or other.
First three words your friends would use to describe you Gassy. Garrulous. Gorgeous. Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it 1984. Midriff t-shirt.
First job Shovelling pig muck in Grandpa Mike’s pig barn for a quarter. Last person you fantasised about Was just dreaming of negotiating a scene between Sandra Oh, Jodie Comer and myself on Killing Eve.
First word you spoke Beer.
Last crime you committed The roiling cloud of stink to which I subjected my wife last night must have violated some local statutes. Nick Offerman: All Rise, Assembly Hall, Edinburgh, Sat 24 Aug; O2 Academy, Glasgow, Wed 28 Aug. See more of this Q&A at list.co.uk
NEXT ISSUE 1 SEP As the student population return to their labours or make a tutorial debut this autumn, it’s time to remind them that this moment is not all just deadline extensions and somehow staying awake through lectures. There’s plenty fun to be had, and we’ll be directing them to all the right places and people over the coming year. Plus, there’s a whole heap of entertainment on offer for everyone, with Eddie Izzard going on tour and SQIFF screening more annual delights.