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FIRST&LAST THE TRAILER PARK BOYS As the Nova Scotia trio trundle our way for a show in a very swish venue, Bubbles, Julian and Ricky take on our First & Last quiz
First great piece of advice you were given Bubbles: Don’t eat the yellow snow. Ricky: Don’t tell the truth cause it’s easier to lie. That’s what my dad taught me when I was in grade 1. Last time you were starstruck Ricky: I was starstruck when we met David Gilmour. Julian: David Gilmour. Bubbles: David Gilmour from Pink Floyd, when we all met him. First thing you’d do if you ran the country Bubbles: I’d let kitties get their licence. Kitties should be allowed to drive automobiles. Ricky: Lower taxes for the poor people. And legalise mushrooms. Last meal on earth: what would it be Ricky: Deep fried lobster burger. First song you’ll sing at karaoke Bubbles: I do ‘Sweet Caroline’ by Neil Diamond or ‘Stayin’ Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Last time you exploited your position to get something Ricky: When we stole the government furniture. We said we worked for the government and it probably needed to be replaced and nobody really batted an eye. That was pretty cool. First time you realised you were famous Ricky: When someone came up and handed me an ounce of weed for free.
Last time someone criticised your work Ricky: Twenty minutes ago. 136 THE LIST 1 Sep–31 Oct 2018
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f i d First three words your friends Fi would use to describe you Bubbles: Ricky and Julian describe me as brilliant, handsome and hung. Ricky on Julian: Unsmart. Julian on Bubbles: Patient. Bubbles on Ricky: Unsmart. First object you’d save from your burning home Ricky: My four chamber, blown- glass water bong. Bubbles: My kitties. They count as one object. Julian: Money
Last funny thing you saw online Bubbles: A kitty fucking around with a monkey. Ricky: A girl had her head stuck in an exhaust pipe. First job Bubbles: Lemonade stand. Until Ricky started selling weed from it. Julian: Selling potato vodka when I was in grade 3. Ricky: Stealing, I mean, picking pumpkins for a farmer and selling them in grade 6. Last person you fantasized about Bubbles: I don’t really . . . do that type of thing. Julian: Cher Ricky: Halle Berry.
First word you spoke Bubbles: I have no fucking idea. Julian: Can’t remember Ricky: ‘Asshole’.
Last crime you committed Bubbles: I was caught with two kilograms of mushrooms but it was Ricky’s fault. Julian: Stole a snow blower from a funeral home. Ricky: I stole some flowers and trees from a government building and sold them to some people in the park. First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech Bubbles: Probably the person who handed me the fucking award. Julian: My father for abandoning me at the age of six or seven. If he had raised me, I would’ve turned out to be a fucking asshole. Ricky: The Old Man. Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Bubbles: Kitties. And if I left the fucking hot plate turned on. Julian: Money. Ricky: Whether or not I’m too high to go to sleep.
A Fucked Up Evening with Trailer Park Boys, Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, Sun 16 Sep.
NEXT ISSUE 1 NOV
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We might be in the last flushes of summer but soon we’ll be reflecting back on the year that was and looking forward to 2019. In the next issue, we’ll be publishing our Wish List supplement of Christmas gift ideas, and we’ll be giving you the lowdown on the street parties and gigs that will light up Hogmanay all across the country. And we’re all very excited about this year’s Hot 100, as we set out to discover who will take 404 Ink’s crown as the number one Scottish cultural personality for 2018.