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SANJEEV KOHLI River City star and recent presenter of BBC documentary Wha’s Like Us?, Sanjeev Kohli will be back on the live stage as shopkeeper Navid in Still Game. For our q&a, he ponders crying, crime, karaoke and crosswords First film you saw that really moved you A Hammer film called The Ghoul gave me nightmares for three years. At the end of Cinema Paradiso, I cried so much I was only 15% water. Clinically dead.
Last lie you told I was the only Asian kid in the St Winifred’s School Choir (there were no Asian kids in the St Winifred’s School Choir). First movie you ever went on a date to It might actually have been Cinema Paradiso. It wasn’t really a date-date, it was a girl who was a friend who I fancied without her knowing. I’ll never know if she was more impressed by my sensitivity or repulsed by my tears and snotters.
Last time you cried Probably watching Up. It’s on about five times a year in our house, and that opening sequence gets me EVERY TIME. First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Judging by my previous answers? Cry. And a LOT of my spare time is spent in TK Maxx and in various coffee establishments doing crosswords.
Last time you were starstruck I gibbered relentlessly at Peter Capaldi in the Apple shop in Buchanan Street. He’s probably still wiping off the spittle.
First time you realised you were famous I was semi-stalked in a Top Shop in London by a young guy. He asked me where my bodyguard 96 THE LIST 1 Feb–31 Mar 2017
was. I whispered, ‘next to the exit. NO SUDDEN MOVES!’ Last time someone criticised your work Some imbecile on Twitter. I love Twitter, but it’s crawling with people who have nothing to say with the means to say it.
First song you’ll sing at karaoke ‘Dead Ringer for Love’.
Last time you exploited your position to get something I would NEVER use the line, ‘do you know who I am?’ Unless I’d actually had a head trauma and was suffering from amnesia. I was once given a bacon roll for free from a van, though, which should give you an idea of the stellar level of my celebrity. First three words your friends would use to describe you Punctual, tardy, contrary.
Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it The first time I bought skinny jeans (aged 39): I returned them two days later. The assistant asked, ‘can I ask what’s wrong
with them?’ I replied, ‘I’m what’s wrong with them’. I resembled an amputee spider.
First crush Julie in my primary one class. I let her catch me during a game of Kiss, Cuddle and Torture. Nowadays, that would be called Kiss, Cuddle and Rendition. Last crime you committed Wearing chunky shoes with skinny jeans. I got community service.
First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech Mum and dad. They worked their socks off to get me a good education and rolled with my unconventional career choices.
Last song you’d have played at your funeral Something long, like Iron Butterfly’s ‘In-A-Gadda-Da- Vida’. Really rip the arse out of it. Still Game: Live 2, The Hydro, Glasgow, Sat 4–Thu 16 Feb; River City, BBC One Scotland, Wed, 8pm. See list.co.uk for more of this q&a.
NEXT ISSUE SAT 1 APR Scran and science are among the hot topics when we hit the shelves again across April and May. Our annual Eating and Drinking Guide will deliver the goods on where you should be dining and quaffing. The guide’s out on 19 April, but look out for an essential preview in our next issue. Meanwhile the Edinburgh International Science Festival (back on 1 Apr) explores the intersection of tech and science with the digital and creative industries – with added bangs, whizzes and pops.