MY DEAR BESSIE Bessie, second left, on the beach with friends in the 1930s
25 July 1944 Dear Bessie, I have today posted you a registered parcel. I suppose it will take a couple of months to reach you, so that you should, by the end of September, be the proud possessor of Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. You may have heard of the volume previously, but I rather think you would not have one already. It is a classic; I bought my i rst Bartlett’s, published in 1884, second hand for four pence. It was very i ne. The latest edition has all the ‘modern’ quotes; I had a good deal of trouble getting those I got in England. The publishers gave me the last copy they had. The book cost a guinea when I bought it i rst, but has since been raised to £1 10s. When I saw one for £2 in Alex. on leave I thought ‘I must get it for Bessie’. (The 10s. extra is because of agreed prices for sale of English books in Egypt.) I had hoped to hold on to the volume for another month, to ensure its arrival near your birthday. But that is not possible, and I hope you will regard it as my i rst birthday gift to you, with all my love and affection, my regard and esteem. I hope that we may spend many happy hours looking into its pages together. I do not really remember the things that made you sad in my 6/7 letter and which were dispelled by my No. 1 letter which arrived in the evening. My only feeling is that your imagination works overtime on things which might make you miserable and unbelieving and undertime on things that might make you happier. If ever something arises about which I feel very strongly that you are acting unwisely, I shall tell you unmistakeably. The ‘bursting’ feeling that you mention I have in varying degrees, and there are times when I feel desperate for you, for yyyyyy ,,, fofofofofoforrr rr r yoyoyoyoyoyoy ururururrur lllllleeeeeshshshshhshs ,,,,,,, fofofofofooff r r r yoyoyoyoyyoyoourrurururuurru bbbbododododdodo y,y,y,y,yy,yy ffffffforororororor yyyyyyyyouououououououuuooo r r r r brbrbrbrrrbrbrbrbrrreaeaeaeaeaeaststststtts.s.ss.s.s AAAAAAAlwlwlwlwlwll ayayayayayaa s s s ss ss I I I III I I lololoolololololololololololooloolooloongngngngng tttttto o oo o o fefefefefefefefeelelelelelel your l esh, for your body, for your breasts. Always I long to feel yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoou,u,u,u,u,u,u,uu,, bbbbbbbbbututututuututuuut IIIIIIIIIIII hhhhhhhhhavavavavaavaava e ee eeee mymymymymymymyy ‘‘‘‘‘pepepepepepep akakakakakkakakks’s’s’s’s’s’s ooooof f f fff wiwiwiwiwiwiwiwiwwwwiishshshshshs ininininini g g g g g fofofofofoof rrr rr r yoyoyoyoyoyou.u.u.u.u.uu you, but I have my ‘peaks’ of wishing for you.
On Blackheath in the early 1950s
I am sorry about your bomb troubles. Please tell me all about them, as they occur to you. I shall not comment on them as I do ttt not want to start repeating horrors ‘at’ you. I suppose your bad nnn ‘sleeps’ are inevitable. I wish I could come to you in your sleep ‘‘ and drive your nasty shadows away. aaa We shall never know if, really, we have met ‘a bit late’. Perhaps it is a l uke that we have come together. I am hoping that we are iiii going to make the best of it. There are years and years and years gggg ahead of us. Probably we shall be able to recollect our present aaaa correspondence only as a small part of our happiness. ccc Although I may be able to wangle it somehow, I shall perhaps be forced very soon to destroy some of your letters, the great majority, actually, as it is space which I must consider. I am sorry about this. Please, forgive me, but probably I should have had to do it sometime, anyhow. I shall not forget any of the things you have told me. I shall remember every embrace, every endearment, every caress.
I love you. Chris CCCCChhhhhhhrrrrriiiiisssss
A photo strip sent to Bessie in 1944
30 THE LIST 5 Feb–2 Apr 2015