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FIRST&LAST IAN KRANKIE The taller half of Scotland’s beloved panto duo talks Mickey Mouse, music hall and Janette
First record you ever bought ‘Pretty Woman’ by Roy Orbison. The Krankies’ new song ‘I’m Addicted tae Ma Phone’ can be purchased from iTunes now.
Last extravagant purchase A black Jag S 2.7 Turbo Diesel. PS Do you want to buy it? First film you saw that really First film you saw that really moved you moved you I cried in the Walt Disney film, I cried in the Walt Disney film, Bambi, when I was three. Bambi, when I was three.
Last time you exploited your position to get something Theatre tickets from producer Michael Harrison to see musical The Bodyguard at the Adelphi Theatre in London’s West End. First time you realised you were famous When a London taxi driver shouted, ‘What’s five and five?’, a line from a gag that Wee Jimmy told during our first appearance on the Royal Variety Show in 1978.
Last great meal you cooked Last great meal you cooked A green Thai curry with jasmine A green Thai curry with jasmine rice, infused with basil – and he rice, infused with basil – and he wasn’t very happy about it. wasn’t very happy about it. First object you’d save from your burning home Janette. On 16 October we celebrated 44 years of marriage.
Last book you read Last book you read My Old Man: A Personal History My Old Man: A Personal History of Music Hall by John Major. of Music Hall by John Major. l
First great piece of advice you First great piece of advice you were given were given Never smoke in a revolving door. Never smoke in a revolving door.
Last time you were star Last time you were star
struck struck
When I met Mickey When I met Mickey Mouse in Florida. Mouse in Florida.
First thing you’d First thing you’d do if you ran the do if you ran the
country country
Increase arts Increase arts funding. funding.
Last funny thing you saw online A picture of Alex Salmond, Nicola Sturgeon and the Krankies with the inscription – ‘Spot the difference – two of them are a well known Scottish comedy double act, and the other two are the Krankies.’ First word you spoke Fandabidozi.
Last thing you recommended to someone Chia seeds. They help you lose weight, make you feel fuller faster, the chia gel can hydrate the body, can reduce blood pressure and they are the richest plant source of Omega-3. They can control blood sugar with great benefits for diabetics.
NEXT ISSUE WED 22 JAN
INDEPENDENCE There’s loads going on in 2014 (check out our preview on page 42 if you don’t believe us), but the event that stands tallest in the Scottish cultural psyche is the independence referendum. We’ll be delving into the issues surrounding the debate in our next issue, complete with input from some of Scotland’s foremost cultural commentators.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Should I have finished that bottle of red wine? ■ The Krankies appear in Dick McWhittington at the SECC, Glasgow, until Sun 5 Jan.
Misadventures IN WONDERLAND
DUCKING AND DIVING This issue, Alice tried her hand at high diving. So was she a splash or a flop?
After you’ve leapt about on dry land for a bit, you go room. One wall of the studio was a l oor-to-ceiling
downstairs and practise what you’ve learnt by falling window that looked onto a children’s play area with
into a very, very deep tank from different heights, kids and parents watching. That day, I practised
then there’s free time to work on your coni dence. forward rolls in my spandex underwear, in a glass
What’s it like? Fantastic. Despite the water slapping looked like if Little Britain was doing a parody of
cage, in front of fully dressed people. I imagine I
the skin on the back of your legs when you tip too far Kate Upton.
forward, like when you were little and misbehaved
in the supermarket back when smacking was a Did I overcome any other fears? Over the last
Why diving? I met someone I went to school with thing. Jumping in is dei nitely the best thing about
few years I’ve noticed I’m not taking the same risks
in a pub who now teaches diving, so this is a classic swimming. Now imagine that best bit over and over
I used to. Am I becoming frightened? Am I scared of
example of when small talk spirals out of control. again. Could’ve done without all the climbing out
stuff now? Is this who I am? No it’s not. I knew that
Also, with all the press surrounding Tom Daley I
the pool every time, but if I did it on a regular basis before the lesson was over I was going to jump off
thought I’d give it a go. I mean, the diving thing.
my stomach muscles would be incredible. Exercise the highest board I could. I did. It was scary but it
makes you hotter – who knew? wasn’t nearly as bad as jumping around with my arse
What happens when you’re there? Edinburgh’s out under strip lighting.
Royal Commonwealth Pool has incredible facilities So what was the bad bit? I had a far-too-tight
for practising your high-dive form. There’s a warm- swimming costume on in fear that otherwise it would
up room before you get stuck into face-planting fall off. Slowly, people started turning up in shorts
some water (we’ll get to my worst nightmare later). and T-shirts. I didn’t know about the dry practice
■ Adult diving classes take place at the Royal Commonwealth Pool, Edinburgh, Tue–Thu and Sun from Jan. See edinburghleisure.co.uk
136 THE LIST 12 Dec 2013–23 Jan 2014