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DICK MCWHITTINGTON Kranking up the season
J onathan Kiley is one very brave man. He is directing John Barrowman and the Krankies in a pantomime. Barrowman, who despite his muscles is camper than a donkey’s sunhat, is the man who challenged Simon Amstell to a ‘gay off’ on Never Mind the Buzzcocks. He is incapable of hearing an entendre without doubling it. His co-stars are the Krankies, a pair of pensioners who are married to each other yet perform as a schoolboy (Jimmy Krankie) and his father (Ian Krankie). Even the pantomime’s name is begging for a cheeky gag.
From these ingredients of kitsch and smut – plus an orchestra, ten dancers, a flying trapeze, a 3D sequence and plenty of One Direction songs – Kiley must craft a show that children will adore. It must also have adults raising their eyebrows and sniggering, while surpassing last year’s extravaganza,
and the one before. Planning the season’s 35 performances takes him all year. He is already batting around ideas for 2014. ‘Of course there will be double entendres, in the style of Carry On movies – that’s the nature of pantomime,’ he admits. ‘Some of the jokes will go over children’s heads and some won’t.’ ‘There can’t be anything rude or salacious,’ he insists. (Good luck with that.) Dick and pussy gags (young master Whittington, you will remember, is accompanied by a feline chum) are verboten. ‘We have to be very disciplined,’ says Kiley firmly. ‘I am the family-friendly police.’ Parents of sharp- eared older children should, however, expect some searching questions in the car home. (Anna Burnside)
SECC, Glasgow Sat 14 Dec–Sun 5 Jan.
HITLIST THE BEST THEATRE & DANCE
✽ West Side Story The great stories never grow old – at least not when they have
one of the seminal scores of the 20th century. Here’s one musical that cans the schmaltz. See review, page 126. King’s Theatre, Glasgow, Wed 15–Sat 25 Jan.
✽ A Gay in a Manager Once upon a time, they were the talk of the catwalk: Tranny and Roseannah were the makeover artists to the stars. Now they’ve ended up at the Arches, promising all the ingredients of a Christmas special. See preview, page 121. The Arches, Glasgow, Thu 12–Sat 21 Dec.
✽ Peter Pan The East Coast’s biggest pantomime reunites Andy Gray, Grant
Stott and Allan Stewart. Seeking lost boys and battling crocodiles, the threesome slap around the classic tale for comic effect. King’s Theatre, Edinburgh until Sun 19 Jan.
✽ Pianomime Will Pickvance takes up where his Fringe show left off – reinventing the piano as a performance-art prop. Promises cabaret, animation, humour and a tickle on the ivories. See preview, page 122. Summerhall, Edinburgh, Mon 16–Sun 22 Dec.
✽ Dick McWhittington Bigger and better and louder and brasher: the SECC’s
pantomime will stop at nothing to entertain. See preview, left. SECC, Glasgow, Sat 14 Dec– Sun 5 Jan.
✽ LIMBO Claiming to be the ‘greatest party between heaven and hell’, LIMBO
takes the traditional circus and gives it a contemporary twist. Acrobatics, live music and sideshow action: the perfect alternative to pantomime. See review, page 124. St Andrew Square, Edinburgh, until Sat 4 Jan.
12 Dec 2013–23 Jan 2014 THE LIST 119