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FIRST&LAST HAR MAR SUPERSTAR The disco-dancing sex icon talks Grace Jones, Michael Jackson and ET
First record you ever bought The 7” of Tina Turner’s ‘We Don’t Need Another Hero’ from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Last extravagant purchase you made We hired two bodyguards in Mexico City on this tour.
First film you saw that really moved you ET.
Last lie you told I’ll be right back.
First movie you ever went on a date to Arachnophobia. Last time you cried Two weeks ago in Las Vegas.
First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Catch up on hours and hours of TV in bed. Last great meal you cooked I never cook anymore, but I make a mean stir fry.
First crush Grace Jones. Last book you read Life by Keith Richards.
Last meal on earth: what would it be Taco Bravo from Taco John’s, rigatoni from Lavagna, honey butter biscuits from The Commodore, and soup dumplings from Yauatcha, and a six-pack of Pacifico. First song you’ll sing at karaoke ‘Ben’ by Michael Jackson
Last time you exploited your position to get something Every time I step into a music venue or festival. First song at your (potential) wedding ‘Crazy on You’ by Heart.
Last song at your funeral ‘Princess and the Pony’ by Sean Na Na
First time you realised you were famous That hasn’t happened yet. Last funny thing you saw online The Daily Show piece produced by Jena Friedman that got racist North Carolina GOP official Don Yelton fired. Unbelievable. Look it up.
NEXT ISSUE WED 11 DEC HOT 100 Every year we compile our definitive list of Scotland’s 100 most active and influential arts and culture players, from poets, musicians and DJs to venues, organisations and institutions. The 2012 list was topped by Armando Iannucci: to find out who’s number one in 2013, pick up the next issue of The List.
First three words your friends would use to describe you Driven. Chill. Gone. Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Sex.
First great piece of advice you were given Never trust a big butt and a smile. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning More sleep.
■ Har Mar Superstar will play King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut, Glasgow, Mon 18 Nov.
Misadventures IN WONDERLAND
LADY ON THE TRAMP This issue we sent Alice to an adult trampolining session. Here’s how it panned out
Been Framed, everyone has one of these things my knees in) and one where I had to fall onto my
gathering bird droppings and bits of broken toys front and try to not shatter my face. You score
round the back of the house. points by looking like everything was intentional
What was I expecting? That I would be great at it. and controlled, but I struggled to know where my
All those years jumping over to switch the bouncy arms should be and where I should be looking.
castle off at the wall at the end of the day must have It was the equivalent of learning gymnastics, but
paid off somehow. Don’t get me wrong, I could also drawing only on your history of falling down stairs.
push myself to do a l ip where I’d land awkwardly How does my body feel? It’s been a while since
on my spine, but I was expecting it to be a bit of a I’ve had skint elbows. Plummeting towards a woven
What experience do I have? I used to work in a muck-about. I was so arrogant to consider I’d be
l oor will do that to you. A couple of times I felt my
trampoline centre for children’s birthday parties. We quite so bad at professional jumping.
shoulder nearly dislodge, like when you try to open
had six full-sized trampolines in a converted garage What did I learn? Firstly, I learned that roaming
a KitKat in a low blood-sugar induced panic.
that we’d release the kids into, orchestrating it so around an empty, dated leisure centre is like
To make matters worse, I spent the rest of the
the jelly and ice cream were eaten after the vicious being in a low-budget, arthouse horror i lm. I also
weekend walking around like I was carrying an
jumping (as cleaning up sick was already too
discovered that professional trampolining is actually invisible medicine ball. I think it’s best for me to
inevitable).
all about discipline and grace, not the guerrilla, stick to gravity for the time being, partly to avoid
That it? I’ve also, more than once, tried to keep
safety-ignoring style I’d generally practise on my more public slumping but mainly to try and grow my
a plastic champagne l ute upright while sprawled own.
on a trampoline in a friend’s garden. You probably I learned a few different jumps: putting my legs
know the kind I mean because, according to You’ve out in front, a ‘straddle’, a turn (one where I tucked
self-belief back. ■ Adult Trampolining, Meadowbank Sports Centre, Edinburgh, Fridays. Call 0131 661 5351 for details.
112 THE LIST 14 Nov–12 Dec 2013