T IN THE PARK
F E S T I VA L M E M O R I E S C R A I G A N D C H A R L I E R E I D , T H E P R O C L A I M E R S ‘ T I n T h e P a r k h a s b e e n v e r y l d i n g o u r i m p o r t a n t f o r u s i n r e b u i a u d i e n c e . I t i s a l s o m a s s i v e l y i m p o r t a n t t o S c o t l a n d a n d o u r c u l t u r e . T h e f i r s t t i m e w e p l a y e d t h e r e , a t t h e t e n t , w a s t h e m o s t i n t e n s e a t m o s p h e r e w e ’ v e e x p e r i e n c e d . ’
T GOES POP Emeli, RiRi, Rita, Ke$ha . . . Malcolm Jack guides you through the best pop acts at this year’s T
A list, in no particular order, of things n no particular order, of things would appear not to be complete that would appear not to be complete ut Emeli Sandé: the British album without Emeli Sandé: the British album ut Our Version of Events broke chart (her debut Our Version of Events broke ecord for most The Beatles’ record for most weeks in the consecutive weeks in the Brit Awards, top 10), The Brit Awards, emotional/ any kind of emotional/ ontage in a TV triumphant montage in a TV The Olympics talent show, The Olympics opening and relay, opening and (torch monies), Glee – closing ceremonies), Glee – – British Sports deep breath – British Sports f the Year, ad Personality of the Year, ad or everything for everything campaigns HTC, any song from O2 to HTC, any song apper requiring by a British rapper requiring ‘a soulful bit’.
in the Parkk Oh, and T in the Park is there that 2013. For it is there that bequiffed e bequiffed peroxide the science nerd- Aberdonian science nerd- ty Zelig will turned-celebrity Zelig will ehensively rum cap a comprehensively rum h her biggest ever old year, with her biggest ever e soil, enshrining the show on home soil, enshrining the us as the place to be festival’s status as the place to be t just to catch unwashed these days, not just to catch unwashed die musicians, but also the rock/dance/indie musicians, but also the y people of pop, whom beautiful, shiny people of pop, whom ssume arrive late, leave we can only assume arrive late, leave
18 THE LIST 13 Jun–11 Jul 2013 Jun–11 Jul 2013
early and never, ever use the loos early and never, ever use the loos. Seriously, who can imagine Rihanna using Seriously, who can imagine R a porta-crapper? The dance-pop a porta-crapper? The dance-pop Barbadian is one of the least likely headliners one of the least likely headliners T has named in its 20 years, but 100-million sa in its 20 years, but 100-million sales worldwide don’t lie, and if she comes in don’t lie, and if she comes in full rude girl force – hopefully sans BF force – hopefully sans BF Chris Brown (pantomime boos ahoy) – (pantomime boos ahoy) – she’ll surely conquer the sceptics. Tho conquer the sceptics. Though Rihanna will have to share join will have to share joint custody of her biggest hit ‘We her biggest hit ‘We Found Love’ over the weekend the weekend with Calvin over Harris (the collabo Harris (the collaboration klaxon soundeth). The soundeth). The current master oofo the dance-po of the dance-pop banger had a major han a major hand in crafting said global said global chart-topper, just one amo just one among several on the Dumfries- the Dumfries-born ex-M&S s h e l f - s t a c k s h e l f - s t a c k e r - t u r n e d - superstar D superstar DJ/producer’s latest set 8 M latest set 8 Months, home to a British re to a British record-breaking eight top five eight top five hits. London London drum’n’bass ensemble ensemble Rudimental come to T come to T flexing some considerable considerable chart muscle of their own, of their own, having topped the UK sing the UK singles run-down twice in the twice in the last year with
All Night’ – ‘Feel The Love’ and ‘Waiting All Night’ – guaranteed big hands-in-the-air moments guaranteed h (there goes each. Emeli Sandé’s mate Labrinth (there goes ) will set a the collaboration klaxon again) will set a rammatically more sober tone, as he croons grammatically neath Your ‘Beneath Your confusing power-ballad of a certain Beautiful’, possibly into the eyes of a certain fellow ubiquitous feat. creditor. Two girls of a less squeaky-clean disposition who’ll get right into the debauched festival spirit, perhaps too much so, are Rita Ora and Ke$ha – party-rappers with a death-wish, judging by signature-hits respectively titled ‘R.I.P’ and ‘Die Young’. The former is a Serbian-British three-times UK singles-chart topper, the latter a similarly high-flying US controversy-hound – think the pound store Lady Gaga – who favours a trashy aesthetic of a sort that typically makes her look like she needs a good bath, so she should fit right in at Balado. Lastly, it’s this year’s Band Most Likely To Be Bombarded With Bottles of Suspiciously Yellow-y Looking Liquid – X Factor winners Little Mix, who have arguably the hardest job of the lot here in convincing people that pure pop belongs at a big, loud, messy music festival. We wish them all the best of course and implore spectators to shower the girls only with adoration. Even if it may open the gates to untold fresh hell next year. 1D at T? Who can say.