BACK PAGE
FIRST&LAST First record you ever bought ‘Cavatina’ by The Shadows.
LORRAINE MCINTOSH The Deacon Blue singer and actor in Let the Right One In talks big dogs and Bruce Springsteen
Last book you read The Blind Man’s Garden by The Blind Man’s Ga Nadeem Aslam. Nadeem Aslam.
First film you saw that really First film you saw moved you moved you Shenandoah with Jimmy Stewart. Shenandoah with Ji Last lie you told Last lie you told ‘Oh, I can’t make that night, I’m ‘Oh, I can’t make th busy.’ busy.’
First thing you do when you’ve First thing you do got time off work got time off work Catch up with my kids and walk Catch up with my k my dog. my dog. Last time you were starstruck Last time you wer Meeting Bruce Springsteen. Meeting Bruce Spri
First crush First crush Blue Boy from The High Blue Boy from The Chaparral. Chaparral.
Last time you made an Last time you m impulse buy a impulse buy and regretted it A dress for a wedding. A dress for a
First great piece of First grea advice yo advice you were given Be yourself and give it Be yoursel hell! hell!
Last time you cried Last time you Today in rehearsals. Today in rehear First job First job Check-out girl. Check-out girl.
First thing you’d do if you ran the country Abolish the bedroom tax.
Last great meal you cooked For friends, from Yotam Ottolenghi. First object you’d save from your burning home My dog, then my photographs.
Last funny thing you saw online An old woman being pulled off her feet by a Great Dane [watch it at bit.ly/daneyank].
First song at your (potential) wedding ‘All That Heaven Will Allow’, Bruce Springsteen. Last song at your funeral A hymn.
First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech My husband.
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Can I go back to sleep?
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep One more chapter . . . ? Lorraine McIntosh appears in Let the Right One In, Dundee Rep, Wed 5–Sat 29 Jun. See feature, page 106.
NEXT ISSUE WED 12 JUN T IN THE PARK If you leafed through our Summer Festivals feature this issue and thought to yourself, ‘This T in the Park coverage is a bit skimpy’, worry not: we’re just keeping our powder dry for a massive T in the Park 20th anniversary blow-out in four weeks’ time. Expect previews, interviews and all the essential info you require to make T20 a roaring success.
Misadventures IN WONDERLAND
BATS ENTERTAINMENT This month we sent Alice to Rock’n’Roll Ping Pong, a monthly, amateur table tennis night with DJs and beer. So, what did she learn?
The DJs at Rock’n’Roll Ping Pong are undeniably table tennis? I work in a youth centre,’ turned into
a cool addition but you soon end up forgetting a bit of a catchphrase. I used to work in a centre
they’re there because you’re entirely focused on for people with special needs and I played the
the batting. I do feel sorry for you guys who are great game every single week. I never got good
spending your Sundays pramming your children at it because I’d play against my Down’s brother
around the supermarket or dog i ghting or and the rallies never picked up much momentum
whatever it is that people do on a Sunday. This is because he just didn’t care.
a good night if you still have the ability to make 5. I’m a bad loser. The good players were
choices for yourself. handicapped by having to wear eye-patches,
3. It’s inclusive unless you’re excluded. There’s a masks of the royal family, oven gloves and being
1. I’m not entirely negative. Before all my previous good mix of folk: ordinary, early middle-aged men
forced to use tiny paddles. They looked foolish but
challenges for this column, I’ve been a real dick in polo shirts; hot young men styled like mods
not as foolish as me. I was the worst person in the
about it. I don’t know if it was the vast amount of in sharp suits; 50s-styled women with quiffs and
room. If I wasn’t there in a professional capacity,
attention I was getting from telling people that I swallow tattoos, who I just don’t think there’s
I would have stormed out and cried in the street
was going to an amateur ping pong night in the enough of (that’s a joke). But when the ‘football
every time I missed a shot. I did get heckled during
Bongo Club or the fact I have an unquenchable
lads’ who’d stumbled upon the event by accident my i rst one-on-one battle and I turned round with
yearning to do activities in places that sell beer. turned up and started being disrespectful, they
every i bre of my body wanting to . . . [graphic
Either way, I was pumped for pong. were tactfully turfed out.
2. There’s no more fun left for anyone else. The 4. It’s not just people who’ve been in prison that
reason you were having no fun this month is are good at ping pong. It’s also for people who’ve
because I had all the fun there was to be had. worked in youth centres. ‘How did I get so good at
description removed]. Next time, I’m going to murder everyone. ■ The next Rock’n’Roll Ping Pong is on Sun 26 May, Bongo Club, Edinburgh.
120 THE LIST 16 May–13 Jun 2013 120 THE LISSSSSSSTSSTTTTTSTSTTSTTTSTTTTSSSSSTSSTTTTSTSTTTTSTTTSSTTTTSSSSTTTTTSTSTTTTTTTTTTTSTTTTTTTTTTSSTTTTSTTTTTTTSTSSTTTTTTSSSTTTTTSSSTTTSTTTTTTTTTSTTTTTSTTTTTSSTTTTSTTTTTSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 161616161616161661616166161616616666661661661611116 MaMaMaMaMaMaMaMaMaMMaMMaMaMaMMaaMaMaMaaMaaMMaMMMMMMMMMMM y–1y–1y–y–1y–1y–1y–1y–1y–1y–1y–1y–1y–y–1y–1yy–1yy–1yy–1y–y–y–yy–1–y 11yy 3 J3 J333333 JJ3 JJJJJJJJJJ3 3 J33 3 J3 JJJJJJ33 3 JJJJJJ3 JJ3 JJJJJJJJJ3 JJJJJJJJJJJJ3 JJJJJJJJJJJ JJJJuuuuuuunuununununuuuuuuuununuuuununuuuuunun uuuununnunnuunnnuuunuuununuuununuunnuuun unnnu unnn 22020220200010000111122020111122222202001222220202222000222222200000112222220200111222201122022001111202022200111112010112020220201120100120010101010 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Y H P R U M N O M S
I