BOOKS | Events MAGAZINE REVIEW
SHORT STORIES VARIOUS The Alarmist #2 (thealarmist. com) ●●●●● Good design matters in publishing, and the editors of The Alarmist have taken this to heart. There’s no faulting the quirky text layouts and illustration, and the attention to detail is great – the white-on-red MOVE ALONG on the inside front cover, with matching NOTHING TO SEE HERE on the inside back cover, is particularly charming. Unfortunately for a literary magazine, the fiction and poetry are not always as strong as the visuals.
There are some gems to be found. David Hartley’s ‘Tyson/Dog’ is the bizarre and memorable monologue of a robot dog. It’s smart, sad and rather wonderful. David Bryant’s longer story ‘The Private Museum of Peter Gandalf’, about a retired loner who constructs elaborate chess sets, contains excellent and scathing points on the nature of art, idealism vs reality, and the problems of building a friendship. Despite its slightly disappointing ending, the descriptions of the chess sets are hauntingly vivid.
The weaker stories are those that emphasise humorous confessions over depth of content. Although they might not be groundbreaking, these stories do entertain, making them ideal for a quick read during a commute – and the gorgeous cover means that fellow passengers will try to read over your shoulder.
With such good design and production values, a stricter editorial policy could ensure that future issues of The Alarmist have as much substance as they do style. (Kirsty Logan)
FLASH FICTON
THINK OF ICEBERGS by Tania Hershman ‘It’s hot,’ you said.
‘Think of icebergs,’ I said. ‘Melting,’ you said. ‘All melting. What happens?’ ‘When?’ ‘When we run out of ice?’ I put my arm around you, felt your bony shoulders. ‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘People are clever. Very clever. There’ll always
be freezers. And iced coffee.’
We spent the sweltering summer wearing very little and standing
very still in the dark corners of your dust-filled flat. I traced the sweat sliding down your thin arms, you wiped my forehead with a towel as if I were your poor, dying Victorian husband. When things got unbearable, our refuge was the lobby of the Grand. We sat, our long bare legs curled up beneath us, sipping iced coffees and bathing in the freezing air. We watched businessmen in heavy suits flock together and swoop into the dining room, and ladies with small dogs, high hairdos and large luggage being escorted to the lifts.
‘Heaven,’ you said, slurping your iced-coffee-flavoured foam.
‘Paradise.’
But when we revolved out of the doors, it was worse than ever. A sizzling frying pan to the face.
‘Hell,’ you said. ‘We’re taking the Fire Line straight to the Inferno.’ You tipped your head back and looked up at the blue-perfect,
dazzling sky.
‘I think . . . it might rain,’ you said. ‘That’s what I’ve heard,’ I said. Both of us, standing on the melting pavement, heads tipped back, pools of salty sweat running down into our aching, dry eyes. Tania Hershman’s flash fiction collection My Mother Was an Upright Piano is published by Tangent Books
44 THE LIST 21 Feb–7 Mar 2013 44 THE LIST 21 Feb–21 Mar 2013
Events are listed by date, then city. Submit listings at least 14 days before publication to books@list.co.uk. Listings are compiled by Charlotte Runcie. ✽ Indicates Hitlist entry
Thursday 21
Glasgow Read, Relax, Recharge Glasgow Women’s Library, Mitchell Library, 15 Berkeley Street, 248 9969. Thursdays, noon–2pm. £2 (free). Relaxed weekly lunchtime read-aloud group for chilling out while sharing stories and poems. FREE Feminist Reading Group Queen Margaret Union, 22 University Gardens, 339 9784. 5pm. Glasgow University Feminist Society’s monthly book group adopts an LGBT/queer theme. Part of LGBT History Month. Edinburgh FREE Book Launch: The Accidental Time Traveller Scottish Storytelling Centre, 43–45 High Street, 556 9579. 6–8pm. Janis Mackay, author of the Magnus Fin series, launches her new book with readings, signings and music. FREE Fanny and Stella: Book Reading and Q&A Waterstones West End, 128 Princes Street, 226 2666. 6pm. Neil McKenna, author of Secret Life of Oscar Wilde, reads from his latest tale which explores the invention of camp. Part of LGBT History Month. Pulp Fiction Writers’ Centre Presents Sara Sheridan Pulp Fiction, 43 Bread Street, 229 4444. 7–9pm. £16. The author of the Brighton Belle mysteries discusses e-publishing and tells you how to make your work accessible to readers online. SWC ‘In Process’ Masterclass: Donny O’Rourke Scottish Poetry Library, 5 Crichton’s Close, Canongate, 557 2876. 7pm. £7 (£5; SWC members £3). In a collaboration between the Scottish Poetry Library and the Scottish Writers’ Centre, Donny O’Rourke shares the secrets behind his writing. FREE Stranger Than Fiction The Jolly Judge, 7 James Court, High Street, 225 2669. 7pm. Friendly monthly Edinburgh writers’ group for those interested in writing non-fiction. FREE Wordy Thursdays The Pleasance, 60 Pleasance, 650 4673. Thursdays 8–11pm. From poetry slams to literary pub quizzes, get your weekly fix of wordplay every Thursday night.
Friday 22
Edinburgh Guid Crack: Tall Tales and Treasured Truths Waverley Bar, 1 St Mary’s Street, 557 1050. 7.30pm. £3 suggested donation. Regular storytelling club, with guest Andrew Steed. Sunday 24
Edinburgh Gallery Book Lounge Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art Two, 73 Belford Road, 624 6200. 2–4.30pm. £12 (£10). The book group discusses Alexander McCall Smith’s 44 Scotland Street, which concerns a painting that may or may not be by SJ Peploe. The ticket price includes entry to the Peploe exhibition. Shore Poets Henderson’s @ St John’s, St John’s Terrace, 3 Lothian Road, 229 0212. 7.45–10pm. £5 (£3). Cheryl Follon headlines the poetry party this time, joined by newcomer Miriam Gamble, Shore Poet Christine de Luca, and Eastern European song from Kasha-Malasha. Tonight also features the first outing of the new Shore Poets Wildcard slot: put your name in the hat at the start and you could get a chance to read, too.
Tuesday 26
Edinburgh FREE Ian Rankin: Charity Event Merchiston Castle School, 294 Colinton Road, 478 8446. 7pm. The Edinburgh author talks about his writing and signs his books. FREE Inky Fingers Open Mic The Forest Café, 141 Lauriston Place, 229 4922. 8–11pm. Open mic for literature and spoken word lovers. Email ahead (inkyfingersedinburgh@gmail.com) for a chance to perform. This month featuring slam veteran Ghostboy. Wednesday 27
Edinburgh FREE Edinburgh Reads: Christine De Luca Stockbridge Library, 11 Hamilton Place, 529 5665. 2–3pm. The Scottish poet and novelist talks about and reads from her new novel And Then Forever. Booking essential.
Thursday 28
Glasgow FREE GWL’s Epistolary Book Group Special Gallery of Modern Art, Royal Exchange Square, 248 9969. 6–7.30pm. A one-off Glasgow Women’s Library book group special, inspired by the illuminated letters of Niki de Saint- Phalle and celebrating International Women’s Week. Places limited; contact the GWL in advance to book. Edinburgh FREE Britain’s DNA: A People’s History National Library of Scotland, George IV Bridge, 623 3918. 6pm. Alistair Moffat presents a new history of Britain. Nothing But The Poem On Tour: Simon Armitage Lovecrumbs, 155 West Port, 557 2876. 6–7.30pm. £5 (£3). The Scottish Poetry Library’s discussion forum heads out into the big wide world. Discuss the finer points of Simon Armitage’s writing over something sweet at Lovecrumbs. FREE Robert Crawford: On Glasgow and Edinburgh Blackwells, 53–59 South Bridge, 622 8222. 6.30pm. Robert Crawford explores the reasons behind the rivalry between Scotland’s two biggest cities in his new book. FREE Walter Scott for the 21st Century Central Library, 7–9 George IV Bridge, 242 8100. 7–8pm. Professors David Purdie and Alan Riach, in conversation with Stuart Kelly, discuss the legacy of Scotland’s beloved novelist. Booking essential.
Friday 1
Edinburgh Two Places at Once: Jamie & Hadfield Inspace, 1 Crichton Street, 650 2750. 6.30pm. £7 (£5). A live poetry broadcast event spanning the nation: Jen Hadfield reads in Shetland and is broadcast to Edinburgh, while Kathleen Jamie does it the other way round. There’s also a discussion of whether technology and nature can support one another, how contemporary poetry responds to modern landscapes, and live link-ups with Scotland’s wilderness.
Saturday 2 Edinburgh Nothing But the Poem Scottish Poetry Library, 5 Crichton’s Close, Canongate, 557 2876. 11am–12.30pm. £5 (£3). Discussion of poetry by Simon Armitage, back in the safe confines of the SPL.
Sunday 3 Edinburgh FREE Illicit Ink The Bongo Club, 66 Cowgate, 558 7604. 8pm. An evening spoken word, this time themed around education and school.