First&Last Surrealist comedian Bridget Christie discusses the important things in life, such as Buckingham Palace, Pot Noodle and outwitting your children
First time you realised you were famous Have I been sent the right Q&A? Do you know who I am? No. There you go then. Last time someone criticised your work Today.
First three words your friends would use to describe you ng. Idiot. Smelly. Boring. Idiot. ly
Last time you made an impulse La time you made an impulse y and regretted it buy and regretted it An unidentified fish thing in an An unidentified fish thing in an Italian restaurant. I was nearly Italian restaurant. I was nearly sick. sick.
Last thing you recommended to someone Socks.
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Haha! I won. Children are idiots.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep This is a brilliant hiding place. They’ll never This is a brilliant hiding place. They’ll never find me here. find me here. ■ Bridget Christie performs her new show War ■ Bridget Christie performs her new show War Donkey at The Goose, Falkirk, Mon 30 Jul (as part Donkey at The Goose, Falkirk, Mon 30 Jul (as part of Funny in Falkirk), and at the Assembly Rooms, of Funny in Falkirk), and at the Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh, Tue 1 Aug (as a preview of her Fringe Edinburgh, Tue 1 Aug (as a preview of her Fringe run). run).
B R I D G E T C H R I S T I E
First record you ever bought How old are you? Do you mean my first CD?
Last extravagant purchase you made Buckingham Palace.
First film you saw that really moved you Watership Down. Last lie you told That the first film I saw that really moved me was Watership Down.
on First movie you ever went on a date to Deep Throat. Last time you cried 39 years ago.
First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Scrub the toilet and wash the bins. Last great meal you cooked Pot Noodle.
First crush Queen Victoria. Last book you read The Book of Roundabouts.
First great piece of advice you were given Don’t eat yellow snow.
Last time you were star struck The nice one from How Clean is Your House was in my local fruit and veg shop. I was holding a huge melon when I saw her. Good job I didn’t drop it on my foot.
First thing you’d do if you ran the country Make my cat my deputy. Last meal on earth – what would it be Last meal on earth? Where am I going? Depending on where I’m going, I would have whatever I couldn’t get there.
First song you’ll sing at karaoke I will never sing again, either privately or publicly.
Last time you exploited your position to get something Once I was seated near a shelf that had some sweets on it, and I took one. Is that the sort of position you mean?
6 THE LIST 19 Jul–2 Aug 2012
First concert you ever F First concert you ever a ttended att attended oha hann Jo Johann bastian S Sebastian in Bach in He Gloucester. He d and was really old and as really rapping. It was really g. embarrassing.
ou bought someone flowers Last time you bought someone flowers 1987.
you’d save from your burning First object you’d save from your burning home or. The front door. thing you saw online Last funny thing you saw online etch. I can’t remember who they A cricket sketch. I can’t remember who they heart sang when I watched it. were but my heart sang when I watched it.
First job Surgeon. you fantasised about Last person you fantasised about . But not in the way you think. Jeremy Hunt. But not in the way you think.
you spoke First word you spoke Ecclesiastical. l. you committed Last crime you committed Treason.
t your (potential) First song at your (potential) wedding divorced? Do you know Am I getting divorced? Do you know don’t? something I don’t?
t your funeral Last song at your funeral ong. The Birdie Song. n you’d thank in an First person you’d thank in an ptance speech award acceptance speech who handed it to me. The person who handed it to me.