Mailbox Ask Bob
Bob Servant, window cleaning kingpin and beneficiary of Dundee’s Cheeseburger Wars, turns Agony Uncle for The List
HAVE YOUR SAY ULTRAVOX POPS S Longstanding music critic Malcolm Jack joined the line of reviewers who were not in love with Ultravox’s latest album, Brilliant, saying it was ‘another of those new old records for diehard fans to apologise for’. Here are some of Ultravox fans’ (more polite) responses..
‘Poor, wrong Malcolm Jack’ Duckorange, Reading
Bob, I was surprised to see that wee Eck Salmond didn’t invite you along to help launch the SNP’s ‘Yes’ Campaign. Were you otherwise engaged? And where do you stand on the whole hot potato? D Stillie, Ayrshire Good Morning, I’m as surprised as you are as I’d have gladly thrown my tartan hat into Salmond’s ring. We are, after all, a terribly oppressed people. We’re like the Aborigines or the Red Indians and it’s great to see Salmond play Gandhi and say that we just won’t take it anymore. I’m not exactly sure what the English have done but I do know that it’s absolutely outrageous and it simply has to stop. I hereby pledge my unflinching support to Gandhi Salmond and his Braveheart Brigade. Your Scottish servant, Bob Servant
Bob, Summer holidays coming up, are you and Frank heading to warmer climes? Fife, perhaps? Ally Ross, London
‘A barely disguised diatribe masquerading as a review’ Robak, England ‘[a] piece of badly written drizzle by a 18 year old chav’ Marty Mcfly, Hill Valley
Ally, Frank and I are eyeing up a long weekend at his sister’s timeshare in Pitlochry but I’m in two minds because Frank’s a nightmare on holiday. He spends most of his time moaning about how the milk tastes different and that the locals look like they’d ‘perv’ on his wife if he was married and she was there with him. We’ll probably just go for the day. Yours, Bob Send your questions to bob@bobservant.com www.bobservant.com
‘Does the world need an incompetent and unobjective reviewer like you? NO!’ Pulcinella, Germany ‘I take it you don’t know of their massive impact on synths, or the pop video, or Gary Numan, or bands like Keane these days? No?’ Cerise, Bristol
‘If you don’t like Ultravox, Mr Jack, why bother attempting to review them?’ SJI, Wales
‘Wow, he has a bloated sense of self importance and an inflated ego, like most failures who become critics.’ Balboa, USA
‘Granted, my review is hard, but I make no personal attack on the band and don’t see why my character is fair game for slagging’ Malcolm Jack, Stockholm, Sweden See the full review, more comments and Malcolm’s full response at list.co.uk
THE Question
We ask the question, you give the answer. Join in on Twitter @thelistmagazine and Facebook
WHAT MUSICAL BAND OR ARTIST DO YOU WISH YOU’D SEEN BEFORE THEY DIED?
@Bboy1975 @thelistmagazine I’d have loved to see Big L before his untimely departure – just for the flow y’all.
Melissa Steel Freddie Mercury – he was an all-round showman who even made hoovering look cool.
@charlotteruncie @thelistmagazine When I’m old I think I’ll regret not having seen Amy Winehouse live. I used to live near her, too. Missed opportunities! @notthatlaura Jeff AND Tim Buckley, duetting on songs by both of them.
2 THE LIST 21 Jun–19 Jul 2012
@IdealCynic @thelistmagazine it will forever be a great regret of mine never to have seen the majestic Jeff Buckley live. Calum Barr The Doors, James Brown, Michael Jackson . . .
@chris_elba Buddy Holly . . . wasn’t ever possible but that would have been incredible!
Alex Johnston The original Mothers of Invention, when they had a residency in NYC and Hendrix would sit in with them and they’d fill a rubber chicken with whipped cream and brown ale
and squirt it all over each other in the name of dada. @ArachneEvents @thelistmagazine Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Andy Bowles Mstislav Rostropovich playing Dvorak’s Cello Concerto on the day Russian tanks rolled into Prague would have been something to witness. Debbie Thomson The Doors – because I think Jim Morrison is a god – or alternatively The Carpenters because I loved Karen!
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