LIST.CO.UK/FESTIVAL

Festival Facts & Figures {FRONT}

VENN THAT SHOW A team of List-sponsored scientists have been working round the clock to produce these highly revealing Venn diagrams

TIM KEY

S H T A B H T I W S W O H S

G N I R A E W S S E N O T I R A B

ADRIAN HOWELLS: THE PLEASURE OF BEING . . .

TIM KEY TIM CLARE

AMANDA FUCKING PALMER

DORIS DAY CAN FUCK OFF

A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY THE STORY OF DORIS DAY

SIMON KEENLYSIDE

LE

GATEAU CHOCOLAT

SINK OR SPIN

P O E T S C A L L E D T I M

DORIS DAY CAN FUCK OFF LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT

D O R I S D A Y

M E N

I N L Y C R A

MOST SPOTTED Celebrities HARDEEP SINGH KOHLI SEEN: almost everywhere smooching reviewers, hobnobbing, sporting a soggy turban

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JOSIE LONG SEEN: lunching at Spoon; watching Aidan Moffat at Sierra Metro; hanging out with Kid Canaveral at Summerhall DAVE GORMAN SEEN: eyeing up the sweet shop at Gilded Balloon; leaving the queue at Kebab Mahal (spoiled his appetite perhaps?)

PAUL DANIELS & DEBBIE MCGEE SEEN: buying Maltesers; having lunch regularly at the Dovecot Café (which they recommend)

JULIAN SANDS SEEN: talking loudly in the Pleasance Courtyard bar with the Hibs Vs Kilmarnock game showing on a big screen beside his spiky head

CAMILLE O’SULLIVAN SEEN: telling a Liststaff member’s daughter she looked pretty

IMRAN YUSUF SEEN: struggling to hold a bag and open an umbrella at the same time on South Clerk Street SUE PERKINS SEEN: being given an extra-generous salad portion to match her celebrity status at Urban Angel

JARRED CHRISTMAS SEEN: getting violently interactive as an audience member at The Wrestling

10 NEIL & CHRISTINE HAMILTON SEEN: congratulating the Boy With Tape on his Face as he packed up after a show. Christine kissed his recently de-taped face

FESTIVAL TRENDS

Sketch troupe Jigsaw (left to right: Tom Craine, Nat Luurtsema and Dan Antopolski) each discuss one of 2011’s emerging trends EARLY NIGHTS TOM CRAINE More comedians seem to be having early nights. I’ll admit I have the constitution of a baby so three beers in and I’m primed for bed. And not in a sexy way. In a face down in the pillow, shoes still on kind of way. I’m sure, every night at 3am, somewhere in Edinburgh, drunken comedians are vomiting on art, but I’ve yet to meet them, and I’m not sure I’d like to. In truth, I’d quite like a parental figure to set my bedtime. Possibly two rings from mum at half nine. This freedom business is overrated. Is this why the youth are rioting? Just screaming out for a curfew?

EARBUDS NAT LUURTSEMA I am being haunted by earbuds this festival. Yesterday I was in a café, and on my chair, acting like it was no big deal, was an earbud. A week before I had found myself gesticulating in conversation with one. The morning before I had actually woken up face- to-face with one. The vibe was not one of regrettable sexual encounter but still it was not cool. I crept out of bed before it awoke. It is some consolation to me that these earbuds are always clean, but a kick in the teeth that they are not a brand name. STICKERS DAN ANTOPOLSKI This year an act called Kunt and the Gang gave out cock-shaped stickers to their audiences to stick on other performers’ posters. They have been hauled over the coals for this. I’m ambivalent myself, as I generally feel happy to see a willy drawn on a thing. The clever bit is that if an irate performer rips off this cock sticker, it leaves an equally cock-shaped area of white backing. The posters are being replaced but for an enjoyable window you can see evidence of this ‘D’oh’ moment everywhere!

Jigsaw, Pleasance Courtyard, 556 6550, until 29 Aug, £8.50–£9.50 (£7–£8).

F E S T I V A L

P l u s Read WitTank's Festival trends

(including umbrellas and

the five-second 'hello') at list.co.uk/festival 25 Aug–22 Sep 2011 THE LIST 17