Mailbox Ask Bob

Bob Servant, window cleaning kingpin and beneficiary of Dundee’s Cheeseburger Wars, turns Agony Uncle for The List

Bob, I’m a bit worried about my diet. I know that you’re a former cheeseburger van guy and I’m a fan of the snack myself but my doctor says that cheeseburgers are exactly the kind of thing I should be cutting down on and I should also think about jogging. Thoughts? Sid Sid, It’s lucky you got in touch your doctor is an absolute quack. Cheeseburgers famously featured in the training diet of Daley Thompson, Eric Bristow and Rock Hudson, all of whom are far more famous than your doctor. As for jogging, that was something that seemed a good idea for men when it was invented but has ended up causing a huge amount of death and embarrassment, like communism or the side parting, and I for one would like to see it banned. Your Servant, Bob Servant

Bob, Few problems with the wife. She claims that ‘at her age’ she is barely capable of taking on any physical task whatsoever. But get this Bob, she’s 58 and I’m 61. What’s that all about? Could you help me find a way out of this? Harry Harry, I take no pleasure in telling you this but your wife is pure evil. Not only should you leave her immediately but you should also be thinking about notifying the police because she is committing an array of offences against you on a daily basis. She is behaving, Harry, like Adolf Hitler and you have inadvertently become her Eva Braun. Get out the bunker Harry, Bob

Send your questions to bob@bobservant.com twitter.com/bobservant

LETTER OF THE FORTNIGHT STOP: HAMMER TIME Dear Sir, Edinburgh University's Film Society shows a wide variety of films, both in foreign languages and in English. Last month I saw the South Korean film Old Boy, which The List pronounced 'a masterpiece'. What does that consist of: convoluted plot, stylized acting and graphic violence?

To be fair, it did earn a round of applause, surprisingly, at the end. Students are an appreciative audience and it left me wondering, is it me or is it them? Yours sincerely, Gordon Crandles, Edinburgh

Editor's note: Who's to say, Gordon? May we instead recommend Mike Leigh's Another Day? It has naturalistic plot and acting, and is very light on violence.

THE LETTER OF THE ISSUE WILL RECEIVE ONE BOTTLE OF THE BLACK GROUSE WHISKY Smoky and Smooth a marriage of fine peated Scotch malt whiskies and The Famous Grouse

NEXT ISSUE Wednesday 16 February

YOU’VE GOT 15 DAYS TO LIVE!

GLASGOW FILM FESTIVAL The west coast city’s film fest returns with a stunner of a line-up, including James Franco as Allen Ginsberg in Howl. See our extensive coverage in the next issue for details on all the unmissable films. LORD OF THE FLIES Innovative ballet star Matthew Bourne adapts William Golding’s famous tale of tribal schoolboys abandoned to their own devices. After spellbinding interpretations of Swan Lake and Dorian Gray, we can hardly wait.

96 THE LIST 3–17 Feb 2011

CONTRIBUTORS Publisher & General Editor

Robin Hodge Director Simon Dessain

EDITORIAL

Editor Jonny Ensall Deputy Editor Claire Sawers

Assistant Editor Henry Northmore, Allan Radcliffe

Research Manager

Laura Ennor Research Siân Bevan,

Siân Hickson, David Pollock, Fiona Shepherd, Kirstyn Smith Editorial Assistant

Niki Boyle

Editorial Intern Francine Bell

SALES & MARKETING

Media Sales Manager Juliet Tweedie

Media Sales Executive

Jude Moir

Media Project Sales Manager

Suzanne Robertson Business Development

Executive Adam Coulson Business Development

Manager Brendan Miles

Sponsorship & Promotions

Manager Sheri Friers

Promotions Executive

Amy Russell

Circulation Executive Murray Robertson

PRODUCTION Senior Designer

Lucy Munro

Production Manager Simon Armin

DIGITAL Web Editor Hamish Brown

Senior Developer Andy Carmichael Senior Designer Bruce Combe

Software Developer Iain McCusker

Online Editorial Assistant Alice White

ADMINISTRATION Accounts Manager Georgette Renwick

SECTION EDITORS Around Town Kirstin Innes

Books/Comedy Brian Donaldson Clubs/Play Henry Northmore

Dance/Kids Kelly Apter Food & Drink Donald Reid

Film Paul Dale LGBT Lauren Mayberry

Music/Shopping Claire Sawers Noticeboard Anna Millar

Theatre/Visual Art Allan Radcliffe