FirstWord KATY BRAND

A former theology student at Oxford, Katy Brand is now a queen of the comedy world, having scooped a captive audience through her ITV2 Big Ass Show. Here, she remembers watching My Girl and squeaking at Jay-Z

Last great meal you cooked I cooked spaghetti bolognese for my family. The dog liked it too. Last extravagant purchase you made My car which is a 20-year-old BMW convertible.

First crush Probably Dexter Fletcher who played Spike in Press Gang.

Last book you read Rabbit at Rest by John Updike.

First record you ever bought ‘Living Doll’ by Cliff Richard and The Young Ones. It was a present for my Dad. First great piece of advice you were given An audience of one is still an audience.

First film you saw that really moved you I went to see My Girl with a group of friends and we all pretended not to cry. Last lie you told I always say ‘I’m fine, it doesn’t matter’ which isn’t always true.

First movie you ever went on a date to I don’t remember ever seeing a film on a date. I do remember seeing Pirates of the Caribbean just after splitting up with someone. We went together which was quite odd. Last time you cried A couple of weeks ago when I locked myself out, I was over-tired.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work I make scrambled eggs and watch This Morning.

Last time you were star struck When I met Jay-Z I squeaked and sat in a corner.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country Take all the railings down from around public parks so they couldn’t be locked at night. Last meal on earth - what would it be Roast chicken

First song you’ll sing at karaoke I like singing ‘Midnight Train to Georgia’ by Gladys Knight and the Pips.

Last time you exploited your position to get something I did once manage to get a posh table at a restaurant after leaving organising a friend’s birthday to the last minute I was really surprised they did it for me.

WeLike The things making our world just that little bit better

First time you realised you were famous When paparazzi followed me down the street for absolutely no reason.

Last time someone criticised your work A daily occurrence.

First three words your friends would use to describe you Loyal, silly and crap-at-returning-text- messages. Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it I have a habit of optimistically buying jeans without trying them on which means I have bags and bags of jeans that don’t fit but that I’ve forgotten to return.

First concert you ever attended I went to see Michael Jackson’s Bad tour and became quite obsessed. Last time you bought someone flowers My mum on Mothers’ Day.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Where’s my BlackBerry? Last thing you think of before you go to sleep My fiancée, David.

Katy Brand’s Big Ass Tour, Perth Theatre, Perth, Tue 4 May; Pavilion Theatre, Glasgow, Wed 5 May.

We do enjoy a good typo here at The List. Not that we would ever condone any made by ourselves, no sir. Committing spelling crime is as bad as stealing, for sure. But we did like the Guardian’s mention of Judaic rockers, Frightened Rabbi, the other weekend, who apparently will be one of this year’s Glastonbury highlights. Oy vey!

tinyurl.com/y6yguh8 As holidays were cancelled and volcanic acts of God generally wreaked havoc, we did find ourselves agreeing a little bit with the ‘I Hate Iceland’ guy who popped up at Edinburgh airport, proudly sporting a Hooters top. Reminding ourselves of the merits of Sigur Rós, Björk, and all that awesome knitwear Iceland has given us over the years, we recentred ourselves with a touch of the Tea Blog, a

micro-blog of pensive haikus thought up while creator Ellie Harrison drank Earl Greys, Lemsips and coffee over three years. Read more about Ellie (who is a bit of a star this issue) on pages 7 and 17.

Lastly, we like the cyber-wizardry behind the wi-fi detector T-shirt

(www.flashwear.com). One glance at your flashing chest will tell you and all sympathetic onlookers the strength of any nearby wi-fi signal.

2 THE LIST 29 Apr–13 May 2010