Books Reviews HISTORICAL DRAMA REBECCA STOTT The Coral Thief (Weidenfeld & Nicolson) ●●●●●
Paris 1815. A city in turmoil following the defeat of Napoleon, a city where lowlife scum meets high society, and a city where every conceivable historical novel cliché gets thrown at the wall to see which particularly dreadful bits stick. The Coral Thief is rife with stock characters (young scientific ingénue, enigmatic and glamorous thief, corrupt and nasty chief of police) who populate a horribly contrived plot which completely fails to marry love story, thriller and scientific ideas. The dialogue is often
laughably bad, full of clumsy exposition or just plain old clunky writing, while character motivations stretch credulity past breaking point. As we reach the unconvincing climax (a diamond heist, no less) it’s hard not to chuck the damn book out the window. The fact that this was written by someone who’s apparently a professor of creative writing on the well-regarded University of East Anglia course is, frankly, shocking. (Doug Johnstone)
LITERARY FICTION NORA CHASSLER Miss Thing (Two Ravens) ●●●●● Nora Chassler’s debut novel marks the arrival of a distinctive new voice onto the Scottish literary scene. Or perhaps that should be ‘voices’ as her novel is littered with first person accounts, ranging from the narration of the two central characters, to written contributions from a large chorus of minor players. Miss Thing charts the
ESSAY COLLECTION POE BALLANTINE 501 Minutes to Christ (Old Street Publishing) ●●●●● For Poe Ballantine, the point of an essay isn’t just to pass on information or offer some straight analysis. It all works so much better when it’s given the feel of a drama, which is why this new set of stories often feels as though it’s straddling fiction and factual, as we meet ‘Poe’ at various stages of a largely boho/hobo life travelling across great swathes of his America. The tormented, wayfaring spirits of Charles Bukowski and Jack Kerouac are often evoked in Ballantine’s work and, like here, no review or interview piece can ever be complete without namechecking these (dead) beat writers; but there is a beauty and humour in 501 Minutes to Christ that is often
lacking in that unholy pair’s oeuvre. As Ballantine maps out ‘More Tales of an
American Drifter’, we trace back to his teenage years giving plasma to help pay for his next meal while in ‘The Irving’, we learn that even as a successful writer, he seeks more. Though whether this can be achieved by punching either Norman Mailer or John Irving in the face during a public book event is uncertain. In the hobo existence, it’s not just dreams that are dying on a regular basis, and the demise of a beloved pet brings on regret and shame in him, emotions which once having piled up can lead to thoughts of suicide. ‘Advice to William Somebody’ reflects on Ballantine’s own moments of personal hell and offer a pensive counterbalance to the often hilarious incidents which have infiltrated this tramp’s life. (Brian Donaldson)
novel occasionally feels a bit disjointed, and Andromeda’s precocious wisdom sometimes stretches credibility, this debut is to be admired for the audacity of its central conceit and the overall stylishness of its execution. (Allan Radcliffe)
HORROR COMIC MARTIN CONAGHAN & WILL PICKERING Burke & Hare (Vigil/Insomnia) ●●●●● A delve into Edinburgh’s sinister past seems to fit the tradition of period
ghost stories for Christmas, though of course the tale of Burke and Hare is all too real. Perhaps the most important aspect of their history which writer Martin Conaghan clears up is that the pair were never grave robbers, but serial killers who prowled the streets of Edinburgh in 1828 preying on the weak then selling their bodies to medical science.
This comic is a shadowy tale of greed and violence that sticks rigorously to the facts, with any deviations or flights of fancy catalogued in the expansive appendix (which is perhaps a little too expansive). Will Pickering’s art may seem simplistic at first glance but actually matches the tone perfectly with well- researched and realised depictions of 19th century Edinburgh. A creepy history lesson that suits these long winter nights. (Henry Northmore)
COLLECTED WRITING SANDI TOKSVIG The Chain of Curiosity (Sphere) ●●●●●
Over the last four years, mild-mannered humourist Sandi Toksvig has been penning brief columns for The Sunday Telegraph, the cream of which is gathered up here for those unfortunate enough to have missed them first time around. And what is collected is an overwhelmingly slight bunch of ‘opinions’ and ‘analysis’ which wouldn’t frighten a wooden horse, with titles such as ‘a storm in a coffee cup’, ‘for the love of a pickled cucumber’ and ‘I’m not Callas, just clueless’. The best that can be
said of it all is that Toksvig does know her history (or is able to cram in a lot of research on a weekly basis to fit her theme) and had the handy knack of being a Danish-born columnist writing for a posh paper
development of a bizarre relationship between two misfits who live in the Apthorp building in New York’s Upper West Side. Andromeda Van Zandt takes refuge from her grief at her mother’s recent suicide in prescription drug abuse and shoplifting, while Sam is a struggling writer whose wife has recently booted him out of their loveless marriage. Through the pair’s
diaries, Chassler builds a detailed, insightful, sometimes playfully contradictory portrait of two lost souls. While the
42 THE LIST 17 Dec 2009–7 Jan 2010
www.list.co.uk/books ALSO PUBLISHED
5 CHRISTMAS BOOKS Augusten Burroughs You Better Not Cry: True Stories for Christmas A twisted collection of Yuletide tales in which the face of a stuffed Santa is eaten off and a tenement is constructed entirely from gingerbread. Atlantic. Loek Koopmans The Little Christmas Tree The little Christmas tree hates its sharp needles and longs to have soft leaves like all the others. But will it be happier when its wish is granted? Floris.
Paul Auster Auggie Wren’s Christmas Story A writer has been asked to pen a Christmas story for The New York Times, but how will he achieve his aim of writing an unsentimental festive story? Faber. Adam Roberts I Am Scrooge: A Zombie Story for Christmas It’s Shaun of the Dead meets A Christmas Carol as Ebenezer counts his money while flesh- eating creatures roam the streets of ye olde London. Gollancz.
Gerry Bowler The Encyclopaedia of Christmas An A-Z of seasonal traditions across the world. Atlantic.
when all hell broke loose with the Muslim- baiting cartoons in Jyllands-Posten. Even then, all she has to report is that the Danes wouldn’t hurt a fly, honest. Charlie Brooker can probably sleep peacefully at night. (Brian Donaldson)