MARTIN KlHN
NO MORE
ll
Martin Kihn was your average good guy, working hard but going nowhere fast, when he decided to become an asshole. A book and TV deal later, he is feeling much happier. He talks to Claire Sawers
_\car ago. Marlin ls'ihn was a tc\thook
‘nice gu} '. He was polite. thoughtlul and
hard working. htrt his lil‘e was going nowhere. He lived in a pok} apartment. had a dead-end joh and e\eryone. including his dog. treated him like a hitch. When he hit 40. he tlL‘L‘ltlL‘tl to \litl'l heha\ lllg' lllsL‘ ttll trssllolc to \CL‘ ll it might help him get rich and happ}.
Looking around at guys with moire). power. an adoring wile or an ohedient Alsatian. he concltrded lllttl lllL‘ path to success lit} in acting like a jerk. He ditched his people pleasing wa_\s and made up a ten-step ‘assholism' programme which irwohed ignoring other peoples. l‘cclings. nex'cr sa}ing sorr'). dressing in hlack silk and old} eating red meal. His e\treme lil‘e t)\L‘l'llitlll paid ol‘l‘: one _\ear on. he‘s heen promoted. has hought a holiday cahin in the mountains and ra\es ahotrt how much happier he l'eels. The experiment also attracted Warner moxie hosses. who paid 8500.000 l‘or the lilm rights to his memoirs hel‘ore he'd e\en written them.
ASS/role reads like a manual in how not to hehaxe. htrt Kiltn insists his original intentions were totall) serious. ‘I reall_\ was \cr'} upset.‘ he says. "l'he section ahout me getting had l'eedhack trout in} hoss. and wondering w hat kind of man I was. that's all true.‘ His simpering personalit) and non-conl'rontational approach were losing him respect at the direct marketing agenc} where he still works now. To claw hack some dignit} and lind 'the e} e ol' the tiger". he summoned his inner warrior h} hiring lil'e coaches and pert'ecting his Power Stare. ..\s his Cllolts hecarne more lull-on (soon he was eating garlic bagels and taking tip two seats on the suhw'ayl he realised there had to he a tongue-in- cheek side to what he was doing. "l‘here's an element of honest_\' to the hook. hut also a strong ironic undercurrent] he sa} s.
Man} of the steps Kilrn took to tind his inner
asshole are grounded in real sell-help techniques like meditation or Visualisation. htrt he takes the
happy elapp} edge ot't' with a healthy dose ot‘
sarcasm. 'l‘d spent a lifetime seeing therapists and psychiatrists. and following things like The
26 THE LIST .I ‘ Ma: -\;" .XL 5
\Varrior l)iet. I guess I wanted to par‘od} those t_\pes ol' hooks and mo\e awa} hour the whin}. sell-centred. intr'ospectixe stull towards real action.‘ It's worth pointing otrt that although Kihn w ritcs from the point ol \iew ol‘ a downtrodden underdog who happens to get luck} one da}. he has prexiousl} written a corned} e\pose on the world ol rrrarragerrrcrrt consllllttne} called Home o/ Ins. and rcceixed an larnm} .-\ward nomination lor his writing on .\ll\”s l’u/r—I '/r lit/cu. But as he states plainl_\ at the start ol' the hook. 'I ha\e rrradc a l'ew changes
to what reall} happened to rrrakc tlrerrr l'unnier. N
that makes rrre an asshole. tlrcn thank )ou.‘
()n his ten—stepiournc} l'r'om mm to hero. Kilnt worked w itlr an acting coach w ho sent him out in Manhattan to heha\c like a lirst class dick. or take insults witlrotrt llinching. \ol surprisingl} the crash course in humiliation l'orced him to he lcss sensiti\e ahotrt criticism. llc sa}s. 'lt delinilcl} helped o\ercome in} consciousness. Now I see )ou can he more asserti\e without needing to he ohno\ious. I think that should he part ol' e\er') person‘s tool
kit.‘
‘THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
PEOPLE ARE OFTEN THE BIGGEST DIVAS OR THE MOST UNCARING SOCIOPATHS'
The notion that 'rrice gu}s linish last' remained a strong moti\ator throughout the e\perirrrerrt. and ls'ihn took a straw poll among his l‘riends and wile ol‘ l5 wars. .ltrlia. to see where the) stood. ‘.\lost men thought the} were too nice. and helie\ ed women were attracted to assholesf he notes. 'But I think that's a m_\th. The answer I got l'r'om m} wile is. ol' course. worrrcrr don't want to he mistreated. But the} do like a decisi\ e man who cart take charge. without heing ahtrsi\e.'
Kilrn. who. unlike his pompous asshole alter- cgo. is sol’tl_\ spoken. lunn} and sell-deprecaling. thinks there‘s a general mo\ement aw a} horn mannerl). mtrther-pleasing t)pcs towards more ruthless. hrutal honest}. He compares h}gone heroes like ('ar} (irant with tnoder'n-da} wide ho}s like .lohnn} ls'nosxille. 'li\en James Dean in Rebe/ llil/rorrt a (tune is lairl} polite.‘ he laughs. His hunch seems accurate. as ASS/ro/t' comes llot on the llc‘c‘ls ol l;l\l months The .\.l.( 1'
\Clli'
I'ut'ror: .l./I(' .-l/'r of Sui/ire .\'o. a hihle l‘or
doormats and puslro\ers e\ er} w here written h_\
.-\merican ps} chotherapist Jo lillen (ir_\/h. Her
anti—pleasantrics manitcsto states that met- apologising and unnecessars diplorn;rc_\ olten lead to unhappiness. or a lcelrng that sou're wrapped around someone else‘s linch “\ou lust need to look around to see that we Inc in a culture ol assholes.‘ sa_\s lsrlrrr wrtlr a smirk
"l'lrc most successlul people are oltcn the
higgest di\as or the most uncaring socrop.‘rlhs.‘ llc reckons .\mer'icarrs searching lor asshole role models should look no ltrrtlrcr than then current president. while llr'rts can take a leat out ol the hook ol (iot‘tloll Rtllltsa} l‘clttsslc ;|\\lltllL‘ lloss l. llcathcr' \lills .\lc('ar'trrc_\ r‘hrtch. not asshole. di\ision'i and ‘that gas who‘s married to the ()ucen.‘
lsilrn's .l\\/lU/t‘ memoirs arc currcnt|_\ tn de\cloprrrcnt h} \Varncr' llros ‘I get another \Stlllk when shooting hegins. 'llris w hole asshole e\perirrrent has hccn \cr'} lucr'atnc lor mcf he adds w ith a mock smug chuckle.
\Vltile Ktlrn waits lot llrrll}\\tmtl to unleash his asshole e\periment on the world. he also da}dr'eams ahotrt w riting a training manual lot‘ dogs or a guide on how to raise an asshole cltild. 'Yotr r'call_\ gotta star'l 'ctn §titrttg.' ltc sa_\s. .-\lthough Kilrtr still has prohlems disciplining his Bernese mountain dog llola. o\ct';rll the lite ol~ an asshole suits Kilrrr lust line. "lhe higgcst change in m_\ lile is l haxe a lot
more tinre. I‘m not so lrrrng up on other people. and what the_\'re thinking It's a waste ol' tirrre. l lta\c more locus on what I need. .\'ot onl} did I get a pa} rise and a hook deal. I l’ecl so rrruclr happier too.’ Spoken like a true asshole. ASSHOLE, How I Got Rich and Happy by Not Giving a S!@* About Anyone! is published by Penguin on Thu 3 Apr.
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