I Rear View ANSWER MACHINE
To many he’s the voice of Jagger and Bowie on Stella Street but Phil Cornwell is just an obsessive compulsive Spurs fan at heart
What’s the most rock’n’roll thing you’ve done today?
Gone and got my parking permit from Hackney Council.
Which time in history would you love to have lived? And why? Henry VIII. ‘Cause in Henry Vlll's reign it would have been a lot of fun. a lot of great parties. no TV and lots of public spectacles like beheadings. Lots of people going to watch beheadings. I'm being ironic. but I am fascinated by that time in history.
Your house is on fire, loved ones and pets are safe; you have a chance to go and retrieve one thing. What would it be?
It would be my Spurs shirt.
What would be your ideal birthday present?
FOr Tottenham to win the Premiership. Or a 1959 Cadillac Fleetwood. The ultimate mot0r car.
What’s the longest time you’ve slept soundly in one go over the last five years?
It's probably nine hOurs; I've got children.
What was the last thing you stole?
Oh, it's really boring. Somebody‘s lighter. I steal lighters.
If you could wake up tomorrow and have obtained one ability what would it be?
I think to swim as well as my son. He's fantastic. he's only eight. but he's brilliant and I'm just crap at swimming. I watch him and I think. “Where's that come from?‘
How many times a day do you look in the mirror? Oh Jesus. only four times. I don't like
PHIL CORNWELL
what I see so much now.
You could quit your job and start afresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new. What would you choose to do?
Black cab driver. Well, actually, I'd want to be a professional footballer. but at 49 maybe that's pushing it.
Do you consider yourself organised? How often do you have to look for your keys? I‘m very organised. I'm mildly OCD. I'm always checking I've got my keys on me. I always do a check before I leave the house: it's mildly obsessive.
Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke?
“What's the difference between Jonathan Miller'. That's it, that's the whole joke.
What, if anything, is too serious
to joke about?
Well, obviously things like disabilities and that sort of thing. You just don‘t go there really. And people's origins. unless they're from Yorkshire. Or Wales.
What’s your favourite biscuit? Hob Nob.
What song would you hate to be played at your funeral?
I think it WOuld be ‘Shaddap YOu Face' (sings). Oh no. actually. ‘The Birdie Song' (SlngS again).
How big do you tip in restaurants?
I'm a massive tipper. About 10%. Yeah. I'm a tight git.
When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book?
I think it was probably the other day but I wasn't laughing at the book. I was laughing at my partner Amy, who makes me laugh. I don't read funny
books. I would have been reading the book and she w0uld have made me laugh.
Have you ever exploited your position to get something? Did you get the results you hoped for?
Yes I have. To get FA Cup Final Tickets in 1991. and I did. I blagged a couple. And it was good. Spurs were playing.
Who would you like to play you in the film of your life? Who do you actually think would play you? Russell Brand (laughs). then he COuld get his own back on me. Russell Brand c0uld play me. I like that.
Can you cook? If so, what’s your signature dish?
Yeah, I'm a terrific cook. I can do a lovely roast dinner. I do a reasonable bolognaise. and other simple dishes. Nothing tOO complicated. but I'm prepared to have a go.
When did you last cry? What was the reason?
I think it was when we lost to Seville. Spurs lost to Seville in the UEFA Cup Quarter Final. It was guite emotional. the end of our European adventure.
What’s your biggest regret?
I don't have any regrets actually. Life is what it is and what it's been and I have no regrets. Thus far.
What’s your all-time favourite sitcom? Why?
Faw/ty Towers. It's everybody's. isn't it? It's the greatest. The Office is a close second.
What do you like least about your life?
HaVing to work. No. I love my work. actually. I tell you what. London's transpon. That pushes my buttons.
What do you like best about you life? My partner and my three children.
I The comp/ete first series of Ste/la Street is out now. The complete second series is out Mon 73 Aug. Both are released by BBC.
And Finally...
With advertising honchos banning reruns of classic TV ads such as ‘60 to work on an egg’ on account of them not promoting a balanced diet, we shed some light on the battle- hardened, protein-filled gem we call the egg
I Despite the daily UK egg consumption being
96 THE LIST 19 Jul 2007
estimated at 29 million, Defra reports that there are only 28.7 million domestic egg-laying birds. requiring some 2 billion eggs to be imported per annum.
I Many people find it impossible to crush a whole egg by squeezing it in the palm of their hand.
minutes.
I The University of Exeter has created a scientific equation for calculating the exact time required to soft- boil an egg. A medium size (57g) egg stored in the fridge is expected to require four- and-a-half minutes to soft- boil. However, when stored at room temperature. it will only need three-and-a-half
I In pagan mythology the egg represents Eastre. Goddess of Fertility. Anglo
Saxon stories depict the metamorphism of her bird into an egg—laying rabbit for the entertainment of children.
I Industrial Eggs, though not recommended for eating, can crop up in soaps and shampoos.
I Alfred Hitchcock is thought to have been afraid of eggs.