Rear View ANSWER MACHINE
Currently touring in Guys & Dolls before the
release of his third album
next year, Darius takes time out to divulge his favourite biscuit
Which time in history would you love to have lived?
It would have been the era that Guvs <82 Dolls is set in. I really am in love with the (30s and -*1()s — a time when a guy could be a gentleman. and a lady really was a lady.
What was the last thing you stole?
Some toothp; ste in Turkey two summers ago. ldidn't have any money because I'd been mugged and my wallet and passport were stolen. We were staying in a supposedly swanky resort. which turned out to be
run by a bunch of Rt ssian mafia. And l
was so desperate to get rid of a horrible taste in my mouth that l pinched some toothpaste from a local shop. But I wasn't clever enough to steal a toothbrush as well. so had to apply it with my finger.
What’s your least favourite country? Turkey.
What’s the most rock’n’roll thing you’ve done today?
Turning up to this 'lliCrVIUV-l in a stretch limousine. l'm Joking — it turning up on the train at Waverley with even/one else.
If you could wake up tomorrow and have obtained one ability what would it be?
Invisibility. I'd find out what my band mates really think about me. And what my bank manager is saying about me now I've taken out a loan for my new house in Los Angeles.
If you could start afresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new what would you choose to do?
AndFinally...
I'd love to work with kids. because my 12-year-old brother has opened my eyes to the fact that kids are the most sensible people on the planet.
How many times a day do you look in the mirror? Too many
Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? Aunt.
What’s your favourite biscuit? It would have to be McVitie's Caramel Digestives.
What song would you hate to be played at your funeral? ‘Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen.
How big do you tip in restaurants?
I'm a big tipper because l worked as a waiter when l was a student. So
minimum 20% but I’ve been known to leave 57100—200 for somebody who has been wonderful at their Job.
Have you ever exploited your position to get something? Did you get the results you hoped for?
All the time. in airport gueues. | pretend that 1 don't know where the end of the queue is. and go to the front and ask if the person has seen my manager. Often they do a double take and say ‘no. but how can l help you?” and then you're in.
When did you last dance? Yesterday. practising a move in Guys 8 Dolls. where I flip a girl over me and Iti()ll (l() E] tiétll(lf3t£tll(l.
Can you cook? And if so, what’s your signature dish?
I love to cook anything on a barbecue. because that's my new thing. I have
an outdoor grill overlooking the Hollywood hills. and I like to cook organic meat or wild salmon. infuse it wrth a concoction of herbs and serve it with a cranberry and walnut salad.
When did you last cry?
Watching the film 300. My mate Gerry Butler's in it. and at the end when he died. l shed a tear.
What makes you good at what you do?
I don't know if I am any good. I feel like I'm busking it and I've yet to be f<>tiii<l ()iit.
What’s your biggest regret?
I don't have any. My dad was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. and he fought it and beat it. After something like that happens. you realise that anything you did regret yOu've got to let go of. So. as of 2000, I'm regret-free.
Your house is on fire, loved ones and pets are safe. You can retrieve one thing, what would it be?
A frame that l have with five photos in. YOu press a button next to each photograph and it has a voice recording of that person.
What’s your all-time favourite sitcom?
Friends without a doubt. There's a laugh every 30 seconds. and it's the perfect way to waste 25 minutes.
What do you like least about your life?
I really can't think of anything that I don't like about my life.
What do you like best about your life?
I love the fact that I don't feel like I have a Job. which is incredibly liberating. l have such a wonderful family. the most incret‘lible girlfriend and l have my health — what more could you want?
I Guys & Dolls. Edinburgh Playhouse. Mon 1 l—Sat 23 Jun.
To coincide with our
moments away from
for welly boots. As two girls
back. Rushing over to
. . " ‘ H zitiilqllg». . - ‘ ‘ summer fesuvals round-up SUfiocatlon When released ' *\ ‘~ i" "1‘ got to the head of the line and investigate he discovered the we have scoured the gIObe from his airless captivny' -- A“ in. ‘ realised there was only one ‘baby' was in fact a Yoda
for the weirdest ever festival anecdotes
pair of size fives left the gloves backpack. literally came off as the girls got into a fist fight over the
last pair of boots.
I The hand of god It is CreamFields 2004 and Underworld are playing the main stage. As the crowd begins to get amped and the band launch into their hit ‘Jumbo’ a perfect rainbow forms over the stage. A beautifully holy festival expenence.
I Night visitor At Wicker Man 2006 a young couple were awoken by a head pushing its way into their tent and asking if he could sleep there. The man's head became stuck fast in the tent door zipper, meaning he had to be freed by stewards.
I Breaking and entering One poor punter couldn't afford a ticket for Glastonbury in 1995 so stowed away in the boot of a car. Covered with tents and luggage and sweltering in the heat of an Indian summer the man was
I Gum boot wars The great flood of Glastonbury 2005 caused revellers to wake up in four inches of water. The queues that year were not for food or drink but
I A new hope CreamFields 2006 saw a bewildered raver staring at what he thought was a young mother really going for it in the rave tent with a baby strapped to her
104 THE LIST i' 2' lit: