Worship at the. Oakey- Ministry of
The Italian Job
Steven Dick, pictured, shares his experience as a first-time reviewer for The List’s brand new Eating & Drinking Guide
kokeyin
Gaming Falkirk country PAGE 95 V PAGE 104 PAGE 96
Notes from the heart of whisky
EAT & DRINK
arlier this year I was employed to eat. And no. I wasn‘t
cramming pies into my face. a guinea pig for Greggs: l
was hired to dine at some of the best restaurants in Scotland. You’re probably thinking. ‘buIIy for you‘. but with a few more four-letter words inserted for effect.
I'll admit that in the knowledge I‘d be eating out at numerous Italian restaurants over a six week period my nectar card was shredded and the fridge pawned. However I came to understand that reviewing isn‘t just about shovelling it in and cashing the cheques. Iiach review has to be rigorously researched. written and re-written to ensure fair and balanced copy.
Reviewing isn‘t just about eating. You have to travel to the various 'neighbourhood haunts‘ (miles from anywhere) and gather infonnation from puzzled 16-year-old waiters. And then there‘s the time-consuming job of sitting down and writing the review. With less than 200 words at your disposal. every word
has to count. It‘s not easy describing the experience. the EASY
atmosphere. the service and
the food all without ever
using the word ‘nice‘. Add deadline pressures and '- suddenly what should have been a picnic becomes your worst nightmare.
My day job is writing and telling jokes. I‘m a stand-up comedian and. at one time or another. have written for almost every funny Scottish person you’ve seen on television — (‘lteii'in' The Fat. Frankie Boyle. Craig Hill and Karen Dunbar. So how did I end up as a restaurant reviewer? I guess it‘s because I enjoy food and eat out often. I‘ve visited restaurants all over the world so have a high standard to compare against. I’ll happily spend the last of my rent money on one stunning bottle of wine rather than six cheap bottles. I also grow unusual vegetables -— Ramrod. Black Iinonna. Hurst (ireenshaft. That their names are more suited to (any On Up the Allotment is incidental. So with a genuine interest in food and a history of writing I joined the 4()-strong List Eating & Drinking Guide reviewing team. who set forth with the task of dining in almost every restaurant in Edinburgh and Glasgow. In the Italian squad we had over ()0 restaurants to cover between us. That‘s a lot of garlic bread.
The reviews are conducted incognito. Sadly this doesn‘t involve false moustaches and outrageous Austrian accents but simply means that staff don‘t know I'm from The List when serving me. Remaining anonymous sounds simple but it takes an almost superhuman strength not to blurt out. ‘I’m from The List!‘ — particularly when the service is slack or the chef has taken the night off.
Meeting the staff is often the most fun part of the reviewing process. I enjoy talking to the insane and hardworking people who own restaurants and learning how they came into being.
'26 Apr 10 May 900/ THE LIST 93