RearView ANSWER
He may have conquered the charts as the asymmetrically-coiffed frontman of The Human League, but, like Sinatra, Phil Oakey has had a few regrets, not least omitting to learn the guitar and not appearing on Shooting Stars
What’s the most rock’n’roll thing you’ve done today?
It's (iuite early but I burnt some paper in the back garden.
Which time in history would you love to have lived? And why? Pharonic Egypt I think, although there is quite a lot of it — about 2:300 years. My girlfriend and | '.'.'ent on holiday to Cairo and :t \.'.'as really interesting to see that even, bit of art that people are doing 'l()‘.‘.’ they ‘.'.'ere doing before the birth of Christ. The, lot. I'd like to know if they v'xere like us or if they were different. I have a suspicion that they ‘.'.'ere exactly like What would be your ideal birthday present?
A motorbike. l'ye been looking at them.
I did have three su/uki's but people kept stealing them. I'd like a Su/uki GSXR l l()().
What was the last thing you stole? Oh. it's always slippers from hotels.
If you could wake up tomorrow and have obtained one ability what would it be?
I'd love to be able to play guitar. I cant play anything. I've al'.‘.'ays been really Jealous of people who can pick up an instrument and get all that expression out.
How many times a day do you look in the mirror?
Not more than fl‘.’(} or six liundrerl I should think. I think I look a lot more
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nov.’ l've realised I'm ugly. \"Jlien you're young you can pretend you're not. but as you get older it's totally undeniable. At the moment I've got a bald head and a large droopy moustache so I look really air/ful but I'm enyoying that.
You could quit your job and start afresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new. What would you choose to do?
I'd love to be a ‘.‘.«'riter_ a novelist.
What’s your favourite biscuit? Maryland Cookie. Definitely.
Do you consider yourself organised?
l'm terribly disorganised. I've lived in the same house for 20 years and I think people come round thinking ‘oh he's been a pop star for 20 years it's going to be lovely '. and it's like Steptoe's yard it's so disorganised.
How big do you tip in restaurants?
Often a little bit too much. I'd rather make the mistake of going the wrong ‘.'.ray. We played New York in 19/9. And although we didn't quite get our luggage thrown down the road we realised veiy quickly that if you leave a couple of cents off when tipping you're in terrible trouble. They take it very seriously there and I hate scenes so I'd rather go in the other direction.
What song would you hate to be played at your funeral? Anything by Elton John.
Do gentlemen prefer blondes? \.r'\./ell I certainly don't. but l'm not really a gentleman. I should imagine proper gentlemen would prefer brunettes.
Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? I've Just found your cap.
AndFinally... .
Who would you like to play you in the film of your life? Who do you actually think would play you? Robert Downey Junior. but it would probably end tip being Hicky G(3l‘.’£llf3.
Can you cook? If so, what’s your signature dish?
Anyone can cook. :t‘s lust science. My signature disn is probably cheese and egg on toast.
When did you last cry? What was the reason?
You get kind of soft when you're an artist. I've never understood the process. But shows on TV about dogs being mistreated. even slightly. And ‘.'.’ll(?ll they come and say people nave left their dogs l.'l the rescue rioiiies it
really upsets me.
What makes you good at what you do?
I think knowing that I'm not very good at what I do. It means that l have to persist. In any profession if you '.'.'ork hard at it you generally succeed.
What’s your biggest regret?
Not going on Shoot/rig Star's. l ‘.'.'as friendly with Vic and Bob at the tiriie and it seemed too ()l)‘.l()ll§3 that I would go on the show. And now I really regret it and wish I had that in my little video libraiy to say. ‘Hey. here's me on this really great show.‘
What’s the longest you’ve ever pursued a woman for? And was it successful or not?
Well I was always quite good at it so in those days when I did that kind of thing, maybe four or five z'xeeks.
What do you like best about your life?
The freedom to travel. Freedom To go places I've never been and sometimes I even get paid. Seeing new places and meeting new people v.~ho are supposed to be a problem and they ali.'.'ays turn out to be really nice.
I The Human League are head/My; the Live l‘vfus/c Stage a! Big in [XV/Ail?” Sat :3 i‘v/ay: i‘.’i'.”.'.a.")igl/it's/kirk.com
The fashion police are no longer a mythical creation - school authorities and businesses are taking the concept of uniform to new extremes. We look at some of the weird and wonderful stories of clothes that have been banned
I Medical staff in East
Lancashire have been banned from wearing novelty
104 THE LIST I" At' ' Ma.
socks because they are ‘unprofessional'. Wearing snazzy socks with cartoon characters could lead to disciplinary action.
I When pupils at Northgate High School in Norfolk were asked to wear something pink to raise funds for Breast Cancer Awareness. Rebecca Hewitt. 13. turned up dressed entirely in pink. The school said she was
inappropriately dressed. returned her $2 donation and made her sit in a class on her own.
I Brian Killian. an American student, was suspended from school after arriving in full pirate regalia. He claims to be a 'Pastafarian’. a religion whose followers believe the decline in pirates has directly contributed to global warming and who
worship swashbuckling pirates as divine beings.
I Meanwhile schools in Western Australia have banned denim because it is
associated with ‘having a good time’. Pupils are not allowed to wear jeans or denim clothing because they should be focused on the day ahead rather than the latest fashion accessory.
I Inverness High School has controversially introduced hoodies as part of the uniform and says the policy has been a huge success. (Shelley O'Neill)