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She might not look the part but Jamelia thinks of herself as a bit of a Basil Fawlty. Chances are Basil could never make Jamaican-style rice, peas and chicken for his kids though
What’s the most rock’n’roll thing you’ve done today?
Ordered lunch and then not bothered to eat it.
Which time in history would you love to have lived? And why?
I'd love to have been able to meet Martin Luther King. He was killed in 1963, the year my mum was born. I would love to have been around at that point.
Your house is on fire; loved ones and pets are safe. You have a chance to go and retrieve one thing, what would it be? Absolutely, my pair of Christian Louboutin shoes.
If you could quit your job and start afresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new. What would you choose to do?
I’d probably become a football agent and get Darren to move to Arsenal because I think he should be there.
Do you consider yourself organised? How often do you have to look for your keys? Absolutely not. no. Oh my gosh, I've lost my car keys so many times and the worst thing is my car has to get lifted on to the back of a truck to get new keys and it’s happened about f0ur times. My car has to get taken from my house all the way to Liverpool to get the key reconfigured to the car and that's happened to me four times. So yes, I’m rubbish with my car keys.
Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? Potatoes.
JAMELIA
What, if anything is too serious to joke about? People dying.
What’s your favourite biscuit? Chocolate digestives.
What song would you hate to be played at your funeral? Anything by Diana Ross.
What’s the longest time you’ve slept soundly in one go over the last five years?
Oh gosh. there was this day I can remember, it was after I got wasted
somewhere. I think it was my birthday.
I slept from . . . actually it probably doesn’t work out that long . . . but it was from about three in the morning till about half two in the afternoon and I felt absolutely awful when I woke up because Darren had done everything with the kids and I thought, “oh no, I’m the worst mother on earth". It’s the only time I‘ve ever done that.
When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book? I don't really read books. I have to be
totally against a wall to buy a book and the thing is my books. the books that I read are always those true-to- life stories like Betrayed or those kind of harrowing stories of people who have terrible childhoods. so there's never really any laugh out loud moments in those. I laugh at magazines. usually people. like. well. any WAG trying to be serious.
Have you ever exploited your position to get something? Did you get the results you hoped for?
Absolutely, all the time. I did it today. I was on the phone. speaking to a nursery and they told me they didn't have any spaces and when I told them who I was, a position magically. miraculously opened up.
When did you last dance? What was the occasion?
I dance every single day. It’s compulsory in our house.
Can you cook? If so, what’s your signature dish? Definitely. You get a crash course in
cooking when you‘ve got kids but thankfully I could actually cook before I had them. My signature dish is rice. peas and chicken Jamaican style.
When did you last cry? What was the reason?
I’m always crying. It was the other day; I was watching a programme with some kids, anything with kids in it I'm always crying. It was Oprah Winfrey and she was talking to some kids that have to look after their parents and I felt really awful. I love Oprah; she's so righteous.
What’s your all time favourite sitcom and why?
Fawlty Towers definitely. It‘s just so funny and Basil Fawlty actually reminds me of myself. He’s just always in a kerfuffle and always getting himself into these awful positions, these horrendous situations and that is just so like me. He‘s just brilliant. You can actually start downloading the shows onto your iPod and I’ve got them. Great.
Do gentlemen prefer blondes? Not my gentleman.
What’s the longest you’ve ever pursued a man for?
I don’t ever pursue men. that’s just so not my style. I read this book called The Rules and if a man really wants you then he will pursue you and it’s very true. I think every woman should own a copy of The Rules.
What do you like least about your life?
Not having 48 hours in a day. I would love to have, you know, like double time. There's never enough time and I always forget to do something.
What do you like best about your life?
The time that I do have is just fantastic. I just feel that my life is so full, there’s always something mad happening and no two days are the same. so I actually love my life.
I Jamel/(1 Sl/lg/C ‘No More and album Walk With Me are out now on Par/oplionc.
Confusion may reign when trying to decide if a chocolate biscuit is, in fact, a biscuit or a confection, but no one could contest that biscuits and chocolate go hand in hand. In celebration of Chocolate- Covered-Cashews Day on Saturday 21 April, here are some of the unlikeliest things ever to have been
104 THE LIST 1? '26 Apr 900/
entombed in the Heavenly sweet brown stuff:
I Chocolate-covered bacon
Cook bacon, the crispier the better. Allow to cool. then dip in melted chocolate. Refrigerate for 15 minutes. Sprinkles are optional. This dish tastes like chicken, apparently.
I Choco insects Available on Amazon. these tasty treats include such delicacies as chocolate-
covered grub worms. cockroaches. slugs and grasshoppers. The obvious alternative to a lunchtime Mars Bar.
I Ukranian pork choc FOr years in the Ukraine people have had a love of pork fat. Until now. small slices of the white fat have
been eaten with black bread.
raw garlic and vodka. and
now they come smothered in chocolate. For the equivalent of only one pound you too can enjoy four strips of ‘salo'. I Chocolate spoons
The tastiest way to stir your hot chocolate. Simply clip a teaspoon in melted chocolate. allow it to cool, then stir your beverage as the confectioned cutlery begins to melt.
(David Laing)