It was 20 years ago this month that Ian Rankin brought Detective Inspector John Rebus to life in his grizzly crime tales set in the Scottish capital. Rebus himself agreed to an interview with The List in which he reveals he would risk his life for the Rolling Stones or a chunky Kit-Kat
What’s the most rock’n’roll thing you’ve done today?
Play a Link Wray album loudly in my flat.
Which time in history would you love to have lived? And why? I'd love to have lived in the Edinburgh of the late 18th century. Men of genius peopling the city and a plentiful supply of cheap wine and whisky . . . plus plenty of breweries
Your house is on fire; loved ones and pets are safe. You have a chance to go and retrieve one thing, what would it be?
I have neither loved ones nor pets . . . I live on my own since the divorce. What would I save in a fire? Maybe my copy of Exile on Main Street signed by Ian Stewart.
What would be your ideal birthday present?
My nemesis, the gangster Big Ger Cafferty, served up on a plate.
What’s the longest time you’ve slept soundly in one go over the last five years?
I usually don’t even make it to bed. and end up sleeping in the chair in the living room. That way. I get a gooo five or six hours.
When did you last dance? What was the occasion?
Last time I danced would have been at my wedding, 30-odd years ago.
In honour of world meteorological day, here’s a warning (or an incentive) for budding outdoors types. Read on for a few miraculous stories of humans surviving natural
pulled higher than Mount Everest by a tornado in New
104 THE LIST 29 Mar—12 Apr 2007
l
Rear View ANSWER MACHINE
PREVIOUSLY
UNPUBLISHED
INSPECTOR REBUS
What was the last thing you stole?
A breakfast roll from outside a corner shop in Marchmont. But I went back
. later and left 40p. Presbyterian guilt.
South Wales in Febuary 2007. Ewa lost consciousness and was covered in ice as she was thrown skywards, but survived despite the lack of oxygen and hailstones the
Alps killed 33 people, but a four-year-old boy named
you know.
If you could wake up tomorrow and have obtained one ability what would it be?
I’d love the ability to know whether
people are telling me the truth when I
question them.
What’s your lucky number? Can you tell me how it has proved to be so.
Seventeen — the house number where I grew up. If I were on Deal or No Deal, that's the box I'd want.
When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book?
I last laughed out loud while reading a book called Pointless. about a season spent following East Stirlingshire FC.
You could quit your job and start afresh tomorrow and have the
skills to do something
9 completely new. What would you
choose to do? I'd play lead guitar in a rock band, no question.
Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke?
For Hans that does dishes can feel soft as Gervais with mild green hairy- lipped squid.
What, if anything, is too serious
to joke about? Nothing is too serious to joke about.
Cops have to have a very dark sense of humour as a way of dealing with the
job. I’ve heard jokes about everything.
When did you last cry? What was the reason?
I had a fight with a mate of mine once. in the middle of The Meadows. Ended
when Hurricane Rita hurled two trees into her bedroom in
in tears.
disasters size of oranges. I Don’t think nature can
I Four-yearbold boy be avoided by staying Texas in 2005. Mildred's I Paraglider survives survives avalanche Indoors . . . daughter-in-law urged her to 32,000“ flight On 25 February 1999 an Eighty-year-old Mildred get up when she heard the Ewa Wisnierska. 35, was avalanche in the Austrian Sheffield escaped death 116mph winds, only
bed was crushed.
moments before Mildred’s
Do gentlemen prefer blondes?
I wouldn’t know if gentlemen prefer blondes. being as I'm no gentleman. A pulse is nice though.
Can you cook? If so, what’s your signature dish?
My signature dish is a roll and butter, filled with thickly-sliced corned beef and a big slice of beetroot.
What’s your favourite biscuit? Chunky Kit-Kat.
What makes you good at what you do?
I’m obsessive. voyeuristic, and stubborn.
What’s your biggest regret? Not going to see the Stones at the Playhouse in 1982.
Are you a cat or dog person? Not a pet person at all.
What’s your least favourite country? And why?
I've not really travelled widely enough to accrue a shortlist.
What’s your all-time favourite sitcom? Why?
I love Porridge; if only real-life villains were like Fletcher . . .
What’s the longest you’ve ever pursued a man/woman for? And was it successful or not?
I have pursued many and various women, but always run out of breath before I catch them.
What do you like least about your life?
I'm not a huge fan of the smoking- ban. It means I have to stand outside the pub, even when it’s cold and wet. That's my current downside.
What do you like best about your life?
On the upside, The Who may be coming to Edinburgh . . .
I The 20th anniversary edition of Knots and Crosses is out now, published by Orion.
And Finally . . . ‘ ‘
Alexander survived for over two hours, pinned behind a wall of snow. When rescuers found him he was frozen and had no circulation. but was revived and nicknamed the ‘Miracle of Valzur'.
I Croatian woman survives lightning strike in bathroom
Natasha Timarovic suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning in the mouth as she put her mouth under the tap while brushing her teeth. According to medical staff she only survived because her rubber bathroom shoes prevented her from being earthed. (David Laing)