ticLEECH
? Sucking the blood of popular entertainment
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I lt’s Hollywood awards season. meaning a succession of worthy films and actors acting seriously and actorly.
Pictures like Babel. Bobby. Last King of
Scotland. Blood Diamond and Letters From lwo Jima represent a grim condemnation of war and political insularity. collectively about 150 years too late. yet just in time to lecture President Bush before he abandons office and Iraq. nabs a few juicy executive positions and settles down to a life of ranching and hunting. Hopefully with Dick Cheney at his side. Still misfiring wildly.
I Leonardo DiCaprio. who maintained a Sarth Afrikan accent for his role in Blood Diamond and a straight face opposite Jack Nicholson in The Departed, has revealed he contemplated quitting acting after Titanic. He claims he was considered just ‘another piece of cute meat‘ after disappearing beneath the waves. and that ‘it was pretty disheartening to be objectified like that’. The band played on though, leading with the world‘s smallest violin.
I Warner Brothers has hired Johnny Depp‘s production company to make a film about the Russian spy Alexander
Sylvester Stallone as Rocky
12 THE LIST 1—15 Feb 2007
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George Bush
Litvinenko. with the Pirates of the Caribbean star tipped to take the lead. Sorry. the polonium-210. Which all seems regrettany hasty. what with the former KGB man barely cold in the ground. And still glowing.
I Meanwhile. Death Wish director Michael Winner has been denying reports he faced amputation or death after contracting a mysterious tropical disease. urging everyone to 'calm down' so he could continue selling insurance from his sick bed. The clearly suffering car prang peacemaker has been reduced to two fine dining engagements a day.
I Before that. Sylvester Stallone resisted Mike Tyson's entreaties for a boxing role in Rocky Balboa. The 60- year—old didn't fancy sparring with the former heavyweight champion. explaining that ‘Mike wanted to fight me in the film. but I thought it was a bad idea‘. Stallone was naturally keen to preserve that pretty face of his. a survivor of successive assaults from Carl Weathers. Mr T. Dolph Lungdren and a clearly ovenivlielmed plastic surgeon. who obviously thought. ‘stuff it. he won‘t be finishing with Rocky V'.
I Finally. Frank Sinatra. Marilyn Monroe. James Dean. Jim Morrison and Al Capone is quite the constellation of stars. Especially if your chief ‘talent‘ consists of Gail Porter and paranormal investigator Chris Fleming — a household name if you live in Chris' house. In Dead Famous (out on DVD on 12 Feb) Porter and Fleming disturb America. annoying the world’s most famous ghosts. The intrepid duo ponder whether they'll find James Dean when they travel to the scene of his famous accident? Only if he lost his legs in the crash. the Leech imagines.
. VALENTINE'S DAY
HAPPY , VALEMrmEs
It’s hard to defend this grotesquely commercialised, nauseating festival of love. But if you subscribe to the popular adage that it’s better to give than to receive, St Valentine’s Day can be a great excuse to regress back to childhood, break out the Pritt Stick, glitter, shiny love hearts and crepe paper, rather than a landmark of loneliness, spent in bed with the duvet pulled over your head.
VALENTINE'S DAY
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5 PANCAKE FACTS
We’ve only just recovered from the credit card sapping lunacy of the festive season and now it’s time to splash out on overpriced trinkets because we are too emotionally stunted to say it with truly meaningful words and gestures. Surely the ones we love the most should be shown our devotion whatever the date? Save your love up on the 14th and give it out the other 364 days of the year.
As British culinary enthusiasts prepare to use up their flour, eggs, butter and Jif lemon, we report on alternative ways to celebrate Shrove Tuesday.
Mart-ll Gram In France, Pancake Day falls on 2 February, the pancake symbolising the sun returning after the dark winter. Pancakes must be tossed (successfully) while holding a coin to ensure prosperity for the year ahead. The pancake landing on your head would presumably herald bad luck.
Winning the toss The world record for pancake tossing is held by German-born Ralf Laue. He managed 416 tosses in two minutes. a record which has remained unbroken since 1997. The UK record is held by Dean Gould (left) who clocked up 349 tosses in two minutes in 1995.
Counting the calories The largest pancake ever made and flipped was 15.01 m wide and 2.5cm thick (Rochdale. Greater Manchester, 1994). It contained two million calories worth of butter, eggs and flour, and weighed three tonnes — half the maximum weight of an African elephant, which is undoubtedly what you’d resemble if you were to scoff the lot.
Match of the day In Ashbourne. Derbyshire, on Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday, the world's oldest, longest and largest football tournament takes place. Several thousand players compete over two eight-hour periods. The goalposts are three miles apart, intercepted by roads, fields and a riverbed.
Breakfast Special Every year since 1986 a huge pancake breakfast has been held in Springfield. Massachusetts. In 1999, hundreds of volunteers served up more than 71,000 pancakes to some 40,000 people. Talking of Springfield, Homer Simpson's eighth favourite food is reported to be (you guessed it) pancakes.