Rear View

She can’t cook, she’s disorganised and would love to spend her mornings in the company of Lorraine Kelly. But supermum DJ and broadcasting polymath Jo Whiley insists she’s doin’ it for the kids.

What’s the most rock’n’roll thing you’ve done today?

It was probably watching Lonaine Kelly and Jeremy Kyle this morning because I never never normally get the chance to do that. I was ill a few months ago and it was the first time I had seen it (Jeremy Kyle) and I was just lovmg it for the first two days and then afterwards. by about day four. I was just despairing about humankind.

Which time in history would you love to have lived? And why?

I just want to go into the future. I wouldn't want to go back in time at all. I‘ve just always loved things like Star Trek and Space I999 so I'd want to go into the future and see what was gomg to happen next. What would be your ideal birthday present?

It w0u|d be a camper van. I w0uld love a camper van.

I'd probably trip on down to Cornwall a few times. Either that or a wakeboard as they're just really sexy. They're like snowboards. but you use them behind speed boats.

What has been your favourite ‘Live Lounge’ performance?

One I really love is Artic Monkeys really. because it was a proper moment: it was like a band domg something that was completely random and unlikely and just having a laugh doing it as well. I always like

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What was the last thing you stole?

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If you could wake up tomorrow and have obtained one ability what would it be?

It would be to fly. which I’m sure everybody says: To fly or to sing. I'm only a DJ because I have no musical talent whatsoever and l “.vOuId love to light} some shred of a voice. I sing like BIII‘, Bragg and Corned» Dave from the Breakfast Show.

How many times a day do you look in the mirrof.’

Just once in the morning. to see if I'm fit to face the world. and then probably last thing at night to see what damage I've done to myself,

You could quit your job and start fresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new. What would you choose to do?

I‘d love to be a photographer.

Do you consider yourself organised? How often do you have to look for your keys?

I'm the most disorganised person you'll ever meet. possibly With the exception of Scott Mills. I lose everything. whether it's phones. sim cards. jewellery. shopping. I left my shopping on the train once. I did my weekly shopping at Marks 8. Spencers at Euston and then I left the whole thing on the train.

Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? Wheeeeeeeeee.

What is your favourite biscuit?

Chocolate digestive. milk chocolate. I hate dark chocolate.

Have you ever exploited your position to get something? Did you get the results you hoped for?

I tried to get my daughter backstage at Reading festival and failed dismally.

Who would you like to play you in a film of your life? Who do you think would actually play you?

I'd probably like Goldie Hawn. from when she was Private Ben/'amin. just kind of fairly ditzy. hopeless but I liked her anyway. It would probably be Bilbo Baggins or some kind of Hobbit in reality. anything With hairy toes. I've got hairy toes. Scott Mills has been trying to get me to go to the Lord of the Rings auditions. What can we expect from new midweek show ‘In New Music We Trust’?

It's all part of Radio 1 kind of changing in the evenings. My show is gomg to be reflecting all the live stuff that goes on on Radio 1. It's like the Soissors Sisters show we did last week. highlights of their live set. but it'll also be stuff that has gone on on my show 0r Zane's show. It's the best of all the live ITIUSIC on Radio I. the smaller bands and the big bands. What’s the longest you have ever pursued a man for? And was it successful or not?

I got my husband after a month or so. And it was definitely wonh it. I tried to kiss him even though he had a girlfriend. He said no but then. when he didn‘t have a girlfriend. he did kiss me!

I Jo Whiley hosts weekday mornings 70am- 7pm. From the end of September Jo starts a brand new specialist show ‘In Live Musrc We Trust' 9— 70pm every Wednesday on Radio 7. The album BBC Radio 7 '3 Live Lounge is out 76 Oct on SonyBMG.

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This fortnight, Brazil, Poland, Russia and UNICEF celebrate National Teachers Day. Time to stand up for the teachers and nominate a few of them (real and imagined) for whom many would be willing to be their pets.

I Teachers This show probably did for young teachers what No Angels has done for young nurses and This Life did for young lawyers: made them out to be a bunch of self-centred muppets who shag and smoke a lot. Despite being cancelled by Channel 4 after the lukewarm response to season four, it did a lot better than the US version which was shelved earlier this year after an almighty six episodes.

I Sting When Gordon Sumner sang about the threat to a teacher’s sanity on account of his sexual frustration at the flirty antics of a pupil. it was ‘just like the old man in that book by Nabokov.‘ What it most certainly is not. right. is an autobiographical tale from Sting's old life as an English teacher on Tyneside.

I Robin Willlams While his early onstage persona would suggest that the last place Williams should ever be seen is in a classroom with impressionable young hearts and minds at his mercy. he got his chance as the clean-cut yet unorthodox English teacher John Keating in the heart-rending Dead Poets Society. Come to think of it, his Mork certainly taught Mindy a thing or two. About life on Planet Ork, essentially.

I Miss Jean Brodle Created by the late Dame Muriel Spark and transformed into cinema gold by Maggie Smith, this maverick within the starchy Edinburgh education establishment had pupils who loved her and loathed her in similar proportions. Leading two blokes astray is one thing. but being a less than closeted apologist for national socialism is another altogether.

I Jeremy Brown The name of the teacher in 70s sitcom Mind Your Language. Probably best just leave it there.

I Dewey Flnn Perhaps the role that Jack Black was born to fill, as he took on a bunch of misfit kids and turned them into competition winners in School of Rock. Writer Mike White got the idea when he moved into the apartment next door to Black, who would often be seen running through the building naked while much of the music which ended up in the film was blaring out of his abode. I Mr Chlps What is it about films with teachers in that just make you want to weep? Here. Robert Donat played a former headmaster of a boarding school looking fondly back on his life with his beloved boys. Filling up just thinking about it.

I Cl6ment Madden Ah christ. here's anotha one. French movie Les Chon'stes (The Choir) is another flashback drama in which a timid music teacher turned a class of rogues into sweet little choir boys. Nowwelloninyears. twoofhispupilsreflectonthe happy times and sad circumstances behind the teacher's enforced departure. I can't actually see what I'm doing now because ofthe tears.