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THE ANGEL'S CHORUS DECLARES: ‘MORRISSEY'S HAPPY! AND HORNY TOO!’
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As pilgrimages go, Jay Richardson’s to see MORRISSEY in Ireland is a peculiar one, but he reckons his affliction for Saint Stephen is stronger than ever.
Morrissey on his new album Ringleader of the 'Ibrnu'mm's. The fey tease. Nobody appreciates
‘I 'll never be anybody's hero now.‘ moans
and cultivates his hero-worship like Saint Stephen of
Salford. even as the flames rise to his increasingly Roman profile.
On l3 April. l'll embark on a pilgrimage to a hotel in Killarney to genuflect before that proud. disdainful forehead. my fringe a little too quiffed to be anything but a Morrissey fan lurking in the Irish countryside. I trust he’ll appreciate the rush and push I‘ve made to get there. this first concert of his UK and Irish tour. In his epistolary novel. The ll'mng Boy. playwright Willy Russell painted a picture of two Smiths acolytes in the
same Edith Sitwell T-shiit. sharing a tender moment of
recognition at a service station near (irimsby. I always wondered if Russell had John Peel’s story in mind. Morrissey approaching the DJ and his wife just south of Newcastle to blithely announce ‘these are my favourite motorway services‘. Mere mortals might lose a thousand bags at Newport Pagnell yet never once inveigh travel with such a lonely. pathetic romance.
All the Smiths were second generation Irish and. like his hero Oscar Wilde. Morrissey claims to feel
evermore Catholic with the passing of time and all of
its sickening crimes. He told novelist Douglas Coupland in The Guardian recently that ‘those Catholics. they really nab you when you’re young. They sear you.‘ Oh. smother me virgin mother. Sex. death and guilty confusion. it was ever thus for Mo]. Yet now it seems. Morrissey has relaxed his narcissism for carnal appreciation of another. And
62 THE LIST 13—27 Apr 2006
where better to hear it proclaimed than Killarney. where a beautiful woman is said to ride a white horse
from the lakes speaking of 'l'ir na n()g. the land of
eternal youth‘.’ By his own admission. Morrissey recently rediscovered his youth in Rome and has been
parting said individual‘s legs. his own in between. ever since. With tentative thighs. to the trembling strings of
linnio Morricone. he admits to 'c‘\pl(isl\‘c kegs‘ of Itist on 'l)ear (iod. Please Help .‘ylc'. ()n ';\t Last I Am
Born‘. he triumphantly asserts: 'I once was a mess of
guilt because of the flesh‘. but 'it’s remarkable what you can learn. once you are born. born. bornl‘ .lesiis. You can almost hear the angels join the chorus from above. Mori‘issey‘s happy? And horny tool
Like most avowed fans. l've drowned in Morrisscfs lyrics and bittersweet wit over the years. while acknowledging the Johnny Marr-shaped hole in his solo career. If I had faith in anything. it would be that those who dismiss him as miserable are the most depressing. humourless souls you might pray to one day see in purgatory. Ultimately though. and to steal another line from the man himself. 'I last Want to See the Boy Happy". Morrissey is human. all too human and while he can still whip a mic lead like an ageing Apollo. he deserves a shot at contentment. .\loreover. if this new relationship and appetite for the flesh goes mammary glands tip. I‘m looking forward to a tremendous break-up album.
Albert Halls, Stirling, Sun 23 Apr; Town Hall, Greenock, Wed 26 Apr; Carling Academy, Glasgow, Thu 27 Apr.
Julian Arguelles filo Saxophonist Argiielles remains an original and distinctive veice on the European law scene. The Lot. Edinburgh. Fri 74/101"; TO/f)OOl/7, Stirling, Sat 75 Apr. (Jazz)
The Flaming Lips In the setting of the Usher Hall, their truculent space rock Will work perfectly. See Five Reasons. page 71 and Big Picture. page 11 Usher Hall, Edinburgh. Wed 79 Apr. (Rock 8 Pop)
The Wendy House A sell proclaimed ‘Collection of lovely mtiSiCIans‘. launch a compilation where folks like Attic Lights (pictured). Finneston and the Boy Lacks Patience prove they have the songs to charm a nation. Mono, Glasgow. Thu 90 Apr (Rock 8 Pop)
Morrissey See preView, left. Albert Hal/s. Stirling, Sun 23 Apr; Town Hall, Greenock, Wed 96 Apr; Carling Academy. Glasgow. Thu 2 7 Apr. (Rock 8 Pop)
Pro Forma This reVitalised Glasgow quartet unfurl their new lineup tor two shows. For the former. they team up With local moody electro bods Errors and the Juan McLean (DJ set) lor another knee-trembling evening from the Spies in the Wires folks. Cabaret Voltaire. Edinburgh, Thu 20 Apr; Nice N Sleazy. Glasgow. Sun 23 Apr. (Flock 8 Pop)
Bare Lyrics The headliners are Manchester‘s Broke N English but the likes of Quest. Krash Slaughta. the Remedies and Verse 1 represent Glasgow's terOCious pool of hip hop talent. Woodside Social. Glasgow, Fri 27 Apr. (Rock 8 Pop)
Brian Kellock and Claire Martin First public performance as a duo for the great Scottish pianist and one of the UK's best Jazz Singers. The Lot, Edinburgh. Wed 26 Apr. (Jay)
Mogwai Their tunes on record are growmg more complex but they balance this live With some of those familiar mammoth riffs. See feature. page 22. Usher Hall, Edinburgh Thu 27 Apr. (Rock 8 Pop)