Slinky popstrel SINITTA spent the late 80$ demanding of her suitors a particular level of masculinity. This might explain why she’s terrified of Pete Burns -— but why does she keep stealing slippers?
In which time in history would you love to have lived?
Being a black lady. going any further back in time wouldn’t be very good for me. If it was just going back a little while, then that would be fine, but they used to do crazy things to black people in the past.
Your house is on fine, loved ones and pets are safe. You have a chance to go and retrieve one thing, what would it be?
My writing. because I'm writing books and films and for all them to be gone would be horrible. I'm writing my autobiography at the moment. Who Put the Sin Into Sinitta? Of course.
What was the last thing you stole?
Hotel slippers. I collect them for guests to wear at my home. Simon Cowell’s worn them. though reluctantly.
What’s your least favourite country?
If you'd asked me that a while ago, I would have said Japan. I used to tour there a lot when l was younger and the culture shock was quite
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something. I couldn't read the people and I don’t like that; it just made me uncomfortable. But I had a great time there recently. so I just don't know. You’ve been part of The X-Factor show from the beginning. Has the fat lady sung for it? In the first series, we got a bit wrapped up in people's stories whether they were sweet or mad or if they looked like your mum or whatever. But with the last one, we agreed: don’t even think about it if you're not talented.
How many times a day do you look in the mirror?
Probably 15 minutes in the morning. at least half an hour before every show, 15 minutes before I go to bed and as many random glimpses as I can throughout the day.
What’s your favourite rock musical?
. Jesus Christ, Superstar. Although maybe I should
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say Hair because my mother was in it and I spent some of my childhood on tour with the show. Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? ‘Pageants are fun.’
What, if anything, is too serious to joke about?
Drugs and young kids.
What’s your favourite biscuit?
Chocolate nut oatmeal cookies. The wheat-free ones. I haven’t had any while on this show but I'll have half a packet as soon as the tour is over. Who is the best dressed celebrity?
Eva Longoria.
When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book?
It's not meant to be funny. but The Gospel According to Oprah. Her frankness and boldness made me laugh.
Do gentlemen prefer blondes?
I think most prefer brunettes.
Have you ever exploited your position to get something?
Of course. They're using oil-based smoke on the tour at the moment and it's making my voice so croaky, so I wanted them to use a water-based smoke machine or nothing instead. The rest of the cast came to me and said: ‘You need to be the one to ask for it and we’ll get it.’ Well, we’ll find out tonight.
Who would you like to see playing you in the film of your life?
Beyoncé. She'd be great and she wouldn’t mind wearing all those crazy, skimpy costumes I wore. When did you last cry?
Yesterday. They were tears of anxiety. Not a huge cry. just the kind where you have to stand and hyper—ventilate for a minute.
What’s your all-time favourite sitcom?
It would have to be something like The Cosbys or Fn'ends. American ones mainly. I don’t understand The Office. but I loved Ab Fab.
What would it take to get you on Big Brother?
Well, I was up for the last one. but I thank God on my knees that I didn’t get put in there because Pete Burns is my arch enemy. He's done some terrible things to me and sabotaged my show back in 1989. l was petrified of him when l was younger
Are you a cat or dog person?
Definitely a dog person. I've always had one until recently when I gave my last one to Simon Cowell's mum when her husband died. I'm not sure whether I've been a cat but I just find them weird. they give me funny vibes. I think I may well be a cat in a human's body.
I What a Feeling! is on at the Festival Theatre. Edinburgh, Mon 17-Sat 22 Apr.
AndF'mafly... .
As you get ready to paint your Easter eggs in a vain attempt to reconstruct the resurrection down a Scottish hillside, here are a few non- ecclesiastical Eastery things to ponder on while deciding how you should eat yours.
I Easter Parade Not just one of those high- kickin' Irving Berlin MGM muSicals from the late 408. but also the name of a Blue Nile tune. Their mournful imagery and plinky plonky echoes of a school piano had very little in common With Judy Garland and Fred Astaire “Shakin' the Blues Away'. Other than the word ‘blue’.
I Easter Road Not just the home of the capital's second finest football team (‘you don't win nothing with kids.' as some wag analyst once droned). but the setting to one of Andrew Maxwell‘s most amusing tales. Caught up in the glow of escaping the Fringe madness. the Irish comic once went to a Hibs v Rangers game. innocently believing that goading the away fans while wearing a Shamrock-laden New York Irish jacket would end in something other than disaster. The story had a happy ending, though. with Maxwell being covered in a volley of spit before his attackers requested some complimentary tickets to his show.
I Easter Logan A special effects guy on Endurance 3: Hawaii. It was on the Discovery Kids channel in 2004. You may well have never seen it. I Easter Rising The rebellion against British rule in Ireland back in the good old days of 1916. Many of the pioneers of the campaign were executed but Michael Collins went on to become a folk hero and have books written about him and stuff.
I Wayne Easter Played Eugene in Amphetamine. a crime caper from 2003. It played at the St L0uis Film Festival. You may well have never seen it.
I David Easter The real-name of Brookside's Nurse Pat Hancock, the do-gooder with a foul temper who was caught up in one of the pivotal moments in soap siege history. When a stranger shows up at a hospital gala event attended by Russell Grant. no one can know of the torment to come. And we don't just mean the autograph signing session. Dave went on to play a nasty piece of work in Family Affairs and made the obligatory Bill appearance in 2004.
I Easter Island A Chile-owned paradise in the Pacific Ocean which is shaped very much like a triangle. The p0pulation rocketed up from 1936 peOple in 1982 to a staggering 3791 at the last census. 20 years later. Not to be confused with Christmas Island which has around 100 million red crabs which. every November. all head off into the sea simultaneously for a spot of spawning. Makes you want to throw up just thinking about them all scurrying around like so much pakora on legs.