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As the smoking ban kicks in on 26 March, Julia Morgan talks to some of the businesses that could be affected to find out how they’ll deal with it.
t's hccn the most popular social ilkitliL'liHll iiUl' dL‘L'tldL‘s. It's hccn cool. sc\y and noxx. l‘inally. unhealthy. But hoxx xxill Scotland surxixc xxithout its cigarette cullurc'.’ 'l‘hc ansxxcr. it appears. is just line. With \cnucs employing dil‘l‘crcnt approaches to
lttL’ixlC it. th‘ practical L‘i'i‘L‘Cl\ Hi
the clean air act are noxx coming to light.
The club owner
Kil'sltt' .i/ttt't/Utttt/t/ is hard (if pr‘t'xs um/ rritrr'ltt'line (1/ (Pl. Ifrttt'r‘ttriitrrtt'rtt (iron/i. which (runs um/ tt/rt'r'tr/t's. turning tit/Iris. [/H' ('trt/ioirsc. ('rr/n' um/ Illt' (iurtrgc in (i/(tsytm‘.
‘\\'e'rc producing a l‘lycr and poster catnpaign l‘or cach x'cnue so that txxo xx ecks ahead ol‘ the han xx c’re communicating hoxx xx e xx ill operate pass outs l‘or our smoking customers. Well he trialling a
xx risthand system on ot‘l‘cr l'ree ol‘
charge to licensed operators. to identity smokers lint pass Utlls. \VC haxe had to inxcst in "Butt Pouches" to e\tinguish cigarettes in. (see huttsandgum.coml. ()ur resident l).ls are also getting a hit txx'itchy as they‘re beginning to realise that a l'our-to—si\ hour shilt can’t he interrupted by “nipping
8 THE LIST 't‘» 3 ‘ \U' 1?
out ot' the DJ hooth tor a lag" cuc “Blue Monday" for a good ninc mimttc dash outsich
The jazz man
Iii/l Ky/t' ix mrrit’r (it'lz't/iH/mrjg/t 's JUST Bur
‘.-\s a pcrl‘orming tnusician mysell'l kitoxx what it‘s like to sul'l‘er playing in smoky cnx'ironments. It‘ll he a real pleasure to get home l't'om a gig
and not get a secondary xx alt ol‘
crappy atmosphere when opening tip instrument cases and releasing last night‘s captured air sample.‘
The comedian
."IHl'I‘lttl/l t'uriit'tliuri Reg D Hunter sct's Illt' hurt in u (litlk'r't'rit lie/II. ‘lt's hypocritical. ll‘ smoking is really a prohlem then stop making them. hut they‘re not going to do that. They 'd rather penalise the smoker. The best stand-up is done in smoky hasements. the audience
joins in in a dill'erent way.“
The theatre director
.llur‘k 'lilioms‘urt is artistic director oft/1c [.'\‘('(’1HH ThUUIIZ’. lit/inlmrje/I. 'llamlet's advice to the players is that we must “hold a mirror up to nature". he always taken this to mean that artilice articulates life in a manner that audiences may
engage and heliex'e. 'l‘he Pulit/er l’ri/e-xx'ining play Agnes oi (iod has a chain-smoking nun xx ho smokes throughout. Is anyone going to put on this play'.’ I xson‘t. The result would he l'arcical and destructix'e. I support the puhlic places han. hut the sxx'ccping and draconian measures in place amount to censorship and lack a sense of proportion
The bartender
.lluin'm/ Smith is tic/mu manager at I/I(’ It'(l\‘(’l'.\’(' 'I'lit'trtr't' but:
'We‘re creating an area h_x our exit l‘or people to extinguish their cigarettes outside. We don't think the ban will hax'e any ellect on our husiness and see it as a wry proactix'e decision.'
The comedy promoter
'Iirmmy .S'lit'p/mrtl ix un'ncr oft/iv Stand (tuna/y ('lubs um/ ()ttt' of t/Ir' organisers rift/Iv (i/usgun' (bum/y I't'.x'ttl'(1/.
‘()ur shows are structured in segments with interx‘als. so there‘s plenty ot‘ opportunity to nip outside for a tag. The most persistent complaint we get is about smokiness and I guess most oi our punters will welcome the ban with open lungs.‘
‘It’s good to be hygienic, but these demands had everyone giggling.’
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‘I suggested to Mikhail Baryshnikov that I should make a duet for him and Iggy Pop-’
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‘l have Polaroids of all my boyfriends’ willies, including Kenzie and Calum Best.’ .t’mtw t'.,‘..rr:;tt A t‘/.’t:;:;i kitty.
‘I love music and I’d love to record something. Me and Sharleen Spiteri are good friends. Me and Sharleen should duet.’
[)o too got the too/trig that Fwari i‘titifirrégor l'.’{t»".’f; to work wrth Sitar/ooh Surfer/i"
‘I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star and I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her.’ Kiddo/Uta}; total/y (:orivrrir:rrit; t?X/)i.’i/‘(ti/()/i to Lourdes of the tritarriotrz; Britney <;//rir;h,
‘She is really flat-chested; like two aspirins on an ironing board.’
l'flfrra sum Kerra Krirqht/ey r5; distraught at haw/tr; her shape /;1rrit);1:;t(2<t hy the flaw/(ass Jade Goody
‘Older men are more experienced and know how to please you. Younger men make you listen to Coldplay.’
8hr,> rn/ght he knock/rig on a bit but Jerry Ha/l :gtrl/ 800/7th to have a rnortrrurn of taste.