The 7 Stupidest Things to Escape From Channel 4, Fri .3 Mar. 7 0. 35pm Escapologist Jonathan Goodwm shows how big and clever he is WithOut aCCIdentally killing himself.

Rebus Scottish, Mon 6 Mar. 9pm Ken Stott is back as Ian Rankin's top-notch yet flawed cop in an adaptation of F/eshmarket Close. Champions League Live Scottish, Tue 7 Mar, 7.30pm The tension rises as Rangers attempt to reign in to Spain as they aim to ease their way past Villareal and into the last eight of the Champions League.

Dunblane: Ten Years On Five, Wed 8 Mar, 8pm Hard to believe it's been a decade Since Thomas Hamilton brought hell to the people of Dunblane. This is a moving documentary about surVivors who have tried to carry on with their lives.

Happy Birthday Wullie! BBCI, Fri 70 Mar. 9.30pm At New Year. we celebrated The Broons' 70th anniversary and now it's the bucket-sitting wee blonde guy's turn.

Riot at the Rite 8802, Sat 17 Mar, time the The scandalous opening of a ballet which set Paris ablaze with fury in 1913.

Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa! BBC4. Mon 73 Mar, 9pm Michael Sheen has played Tony Blair and an obsessive compulsive with Tourette's syndrome and now he's Kenneth Williams. the man who was loved by everyone. except himself.

SKETCH SHOW SNUFF BOX BBC3, Mon 6 Mar, 11pm 0.

Possibly the two funniest characters in The Mighty Boos/i OutWIth the hapless central duo are Dixon Bainbridge. the malevolent zoo owner and Bob Fossn. his big- haired Iackey. So. it was With much eXCitement that news reached us of the men behind those freaks (Matt Berry and Rich Fulcher) preparing to fast their own brand Of queasy surreality upon us. Excnement has now turned to shock and awe at the paucity of their effort. Kicking off well enough as an unknown criminal is put to death, the torpid central scenario of the pair hanging out at a gentlemen's club and humiliating each other is sandwiched by some mouldy sketch nonsense. Brief highlights include Alice Lowe playing a Ziggy Stardust-era BOWIe and a disturbing How to Play Giiitar DVD but there is Simply no method to their madness. (Brian Donaldson)

US SITCOM STARVED ITV4, Wed 8 Mar, 10.30pm 00

YOU can Just picture the inebriated diSCuSSion down the boozer when this sick little number was birthed: 'OK, so it's like Friends, right. but With a tWistl' ‘Hmmmn, but what's the twist going to be?‘ 'I know! Why don't we make it that they all have eating disorders? Yes indeed. what COuld be more fun than followmg the hilarious misadventures of a group of

Wisecracking selfhaters Wllil txxl‘, (lisinorphia’? The head of the giant;

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late-30$ COllll)li|Sl‘.(: inunchei‘ who (ilk iiles his time DOIVJBCH work. weight loss group and

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fiom the bin His; igais and conipatlres include a glosSily beautiful anOieXic, a incihidly

obese compulsive eater awaiting stomach stapling and a bulimic cop. The most nauseating thing about this scenario is not the close-to-thebone premise; it's that were meant to buy the conceit that bitchy. neurotic. selfobsessed Sam is Wildly attractive to women. Now that is hard to swallow.

(Allan Radcliffei

CRIME COMEDY MAYO

BBC1, Sun 12 Mar, 8pm .00

. r. 1 ‘3 " \ Alistair McGowan is the titular rural detective whose 'thing' is spotting basic grammatical errors as he goes about his Wisecracking business. This is a bit annoying. His heart has been stamped on but he's got a good relationship

DRAMA {)(XLUME N TAHY THE ROAD TO GUANTANAMO Channel 4, Thu 9 Mar, 9pm 0000

As our wrong-footed Prime Minister fails to condemn America while stating that Guantanamo Bay prison camp is something of ‘an anomaly' which should be closed, Michael Winterbottom and Mat Whitecross' depressing, worrying and defiantly one-sided piece is more than welcome. The Road to Guantanamo is structured around the testimonials of Asif, Shafiq and Ruhal, the so-called Tipton Three who in 2002 found themselves early guests of the newly-appointed torture chambers of a Cuban army base.

As always, Winterbottom attempts to muddy the generic waters and here he treats the docudrama format to a variety of jarring devices that include direct to camera narration, dramatic recreation, isolated voiceovers, night vision shots, documentary footage and dream sequences. Winterbottom and Whitecross follow this jinxed gang (which initially also includes old school friend Monir) from Islamabad where Asif is arranging to marry, and on into the heart of that forgotten dirty little war in Afghanistan, before finding themselves in the dreaded Guantanamo Bay. What follows is the stuff of unshakeable iconography: orange suits, black Hessian head sacks, isolation cells and ever more bizarre forms of torture.

Like his previous flirtation with mild agit prop (2002's In This World), there is lyricism and humour here and a whole lot more. The Road to Guantanamo is edifying for sure, but it is also surreal, angry and imbued with a sense of nightmarish logic that few filmmakers have the ability to muster. It's a work of empathy and vilification and is all the better for it. (Paul Dale)

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