The last time we saw DERREN BROWN, he was foxing some law- abiding citizens into committing armed robbery. As he prepares for a return to our stages and small screens, we wonder where he gets his pepper pots from and why invisibility is so important to him.
In which time in history would you love to have lived?
If you'd have asked me that as a romantic student. I'd have said the turn of the 20th century. Artistically it was a very exciting period — everything was being turned on its head — and I did use to ponce around in a cloak most of the time. Certainly I would have been happy to have lived in some sort of late Victorian time bubble (except I'd have needed an audience. I fear).
Now. I think there's a danger in romanticising the past. but I guess I'm really an Enlightenment Romantic at heart. trying to embrace change and new trends while at the same time loving the stuffy nonsenses of the past. So I think ‘right now‘ is the answer.
What’s the longest time you’ve slept soundly in one go over the last five years?
I‘m a terrible sleeper. but equally I've embraced the lifestyle of the flaneur which comes with
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mega-stardom so I do wake up late. We certainly done a 13-hour stretch at some pomt. partly down to an addiction I have to ear-plugs.
What was the last thing you stole?
I had a real shoplifting stage when I was in my teens and expenswe 80$ gadgetry was irre5istibly everywhere. But the last thing I can think of was taking a couple of salt/pepper pots and napkins from a rather nice restaurant a few years ago. It‘s an odd choice. I guess. though I think it's based on a love of souvenirs. Still have them. Still use them, in fact.
If you could wake up tomorrow and have obtained one ability what would it be?
I think the ability never to get flustered. I do. though not very often. and I really hate it. Actually, fuck it. I'll stick with flying/invisibility. When did I grow up?
How many times a day do you look in the mirror?
Between one million and two million times. probably.
You could quit your job and start afresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new. What would you choose to do?
Play the piano excellently. No question at all.
I’ve tried a few times to learn, but I don't have the patience or the discipline to stick with it.
I’m pleased I can paint. but I guess the grass
is always greener: I'd love to play well.
Do you consider yourself organised? How often do you have to look for your keys?
Ha. You‘ve no idea. I just showed this question to my PA and he nearly spat his tea over the computer. I am very disorganised, routinely panicking about being late and hating myself for it; my record for going back to get wallet. keys. phone etc is eight times. I'm an embarrassing disgrace.
What song would you hate to be played at your funeral?
Any hymn.
When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book?
Probably Return of the Timewaster Letters by Robin Cooper.
Have you ever exploited your position to get something? Did you get the results you hoped for?
Not really. though I do often tell my assistant
to ‘tell them who it's for' in the hope that once in every ten times someone might recognise the name and be diSposed to help out. But no, I
tend really to operate on the assumption that people wouldn't know me, and then I worry I wasn't fun or charming enough if, at the end of a long conversation, it turned out that actually they did.
What makes you good at what you do?
I think not feeling I need to be doing it. I don’t mean that arrogantly, but I do see it as a bit of fun. and pretty worthless in the grand scheme of things. It's difficult to move something on or do very well in a field if you feel swamped by it, so I think that having one foot firmly planted outside of ‘what one does‘ is a huge help.
What do you like best about your life?
I can go and see movies in the middle of the day if I want to.
What do you like least about your life?
It seems unspeakably arrogant to even mention drawbacks about being a little bit famous. There are aspects which anyone would find tiresome (people shouting your name at you in the street: how are you supposed to react to that?), or
unpleasant and creepy (people knowmg and poring over weird details ab0ut yOur private life). But it‘s a small price to pay for all the nice things. so I'm not complaining.
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“we. ' With St David’s Day looming over us like a freakishly massive leek on heat, it’s surely time to consider what the Welsh have ever
given us. A bunch of delicious weirdness, that’s what.
I A midwife called Jesus helped deliver a Christmas Day gift for one set of parents last year at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff. Spaniard Jesus Nieto was on hand when PatnCia Prieto Maturana went into labour and gave birth to a baby boy. Proud father Lawrence Bader- Clynes said: 'He was a real surprise; and Jesus was in the room!‘
I Goldie Lookin’ Chain: they’re ment’l
I A farmer recently won an apology from speed camera authorities in Neath after being accused of driving his tractor at 85mph. Steve Crossman's green and yellow John Deere - top speed 26mph — usually trundles along the lanes near his farmstead. ‘lt's a good tractor, but not that good.’ bached the appropriately named Crossman.
I John Hartson: he’s a baby! But boy, can he whack ’em in the back of the net with that child-like napper of his.
I The puppeteer who pulled the strings of Jabba the Hutt now works at Cardiff Central Library. Toby Philpott. who played the giant slug's left arm, head and tongue moved to
the Welsh capital after giving up his career in the movies.
I Charlotte Church: what must her liver look like?
I Tony Williams' book Uncle Jack claimed
that Jack the Ripper was a respected Swansea doctor who founded the National Library of Wales.
I Super Furry Animals have such a pull that they once convinced Paul McCartney to chew celery and carrots on their tune ‘Receptacle for the Respectable’.
I Elvis was proper Welsh, apparently. The name Presley is thought to have derived from Preseli, the Pembrokeshire hill range and. according to Terry Breverton. a Cardiff-based academic.
St Elvis of Muster is thought to have baptised St David. Plus. the man himself had a twin brother, Jesse Garon Presley, who died at birth. Caron is a Welsh name. as is Gladys. the name of their mom.