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There must be 50 ways to leave your lover, sang Paul Simon. And we reckon there’s an even greater number of reasons to remain single this 14 February. So here are 51 things which are much, much easier to do if you’re going it alone.
1. Join the club, we’re getting jackets made A «Min to i.lt"ts;'ttit iJi'il‘Jfi'fl-i', i admit: ti ,r iit‘fa'tt'i i‘ ll‘it‘ i tt'lililtify .t"ti
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20 THE LIST. ‘11 8
3. Become the perfect godparent At Christmas. you'll be the gtlanioiously fashionable Auntie or sotiuisn uncle sweeping lll ‘.'.liil tall hues; it()ltl tar-oft lands; and llltff3ltttll§3li)i(f toys. slog-.ly turning; your nieces and nephews against the
litttther ytitl tii‘.‘.'tt,f$ setgretl‘, despised.
4. Reveal Valentine’s Day for what it really is It's; emotional ttlatrkniail aunt large in red letters; anti teddy bears. that's what. Distrust; lumt's mass .:oininer<3ialisni with a choice facts:
I St Valentine was a priest. Hts; opinion on romantic lone was :smiorn tumult?
I He was; clunted. stoned and beheaded to death in AD 20%). 'i hat's; tigitsit; ‘t‘l :‘a'its; with tiunn‘, tahtxtss. I its body lies; Ill a Glasgow cnurt‘h. Nat Parts. \enittt: or Casablanca TM: Gotham.
I Chocolate is; fattening.
I Ewe. \aientine's Day. the axeragie that? spends W35 on his partner. The
better looking man. gets away ‘.'.:th $7.th
‘ULTIMATELY, WOMEN HAVE
THE SEXUAL CHOICE'
THE PICKUP ARTIST
‘ omcn hayc a grcat thing callcd intuition. which guys w sccm to hayc htit not usc. It's just cyolution and adopting
stlt‘ViVLli stratcgics. hccausc thcrc's always hccn compctition. \Vomcn w crc always rcading ('m'nmpo/ittm and watching Sat and [lit' (in. trying to tigurc out thc malc spccics. So thcy"rc ah'cady way. way ahcad ol' tis. \Vc hayc so much catching tip to do it's not cycn l'unny. But romancc has always hccn complicatcd. 'I‘hc rulcs may changc htit courtship has always hccn a kind ot'gamc.
‘liycry woman dislikcs thc idca. 'l‘hcy hcar about this pick-up manual and .sccrct socicty ol' guys running around picking tip women. But il‘ thcy rcad thc hook. that imprcssion gocs away. hccaUsc it‘s positiyc. It w'idcns thc dating pool. hccausc most of thcsc guys arc nicc guys. thcy'rc just too pctrilicd of talking to womcn. t'ltimatcly. womcn hayc thc scxual choicc. A guy can only prcscnt hitttsclt in thc bcst possiblc way and not makc any mistakcs. And it‘s socialising guys. Wc giyc ourscly cs too much crcdit for picking up on womcn’s subtlctics.
‘iiycrything works it you do it right. nothing works it you do it wrong. It you say. "lixcusc mc. can I ask you a qucstion'.’". thcy'rc going to say. ".\'o. gct lost." But it you say. "Iixcusc mc. l nccd to get your opinion on somcthing." it‘ll work. I always went out with this attitudc. that it i tricd something and i got rcjcctcd. it‘s not thc tcchniquc's lault. it's my lault for doing it wrong.
‘(iuys always want to say. "\Vcll. hc gcts laid hccaUsc he‘s good looking." ()r “Hc gcts laid hccatisc hc‘s a natural." ()ncc you realise you can learn to do it. you'yc no cxcuscs. I know I would hayc bccn a hcro to mysclt in my youngcr days bccausc I had no success with w'omcn. l was a short. scrawny. hig-noscd guy who suddcnly' bccamc this grcat pickup artist with an incrcdiblc lit'cstylc.
'.-\II My (iunu' is about is hcing conlidcnt. intcrcsting and interested. But you nccd succcss to he contidcnt. So the routines in the book are like training drills. ()ncc you learn to bc conlidcnt. you can throw the game and all that shift away and jtist actually be yourself.
'Ycah. thcrc‘s a Projcct Edinburgh out thcrc. Somc ot' the best pickup artists in thc l'K arc sarging in Scotland.‘
Published by Canongate, out now. Strauss is now in a monogamous relationship with Lisa Leveridge, Courtney Love’s guitarist.