Around Town
Hit
THE BEST EVENTS, TALKS AND SPORT
* The Sound of Stars
Stars are actually giant musical instruments. Sadly, their sounds can’t get out into space (so no Nebula All Stars Christmas number one next year). but scientists know they exist. Come along to hear all about it from Don Kurtz. Royal Observatory Wsitor Centre, Edinburgh, Mon 23 Jan. * Come and Try Gospel Complete beginners are welcome to feel the excitement of gospel, with warm-ups, harmony, solo and improvisations. You‘ll be backing credibility-seeking boy bands on TOTP before you know it. Royal Concert Hall, Glasgow, Sat 28 Jan. * Norwich Union International
The curtain raiser to the 2006 athletics season. Can the best of the UK's talent challenge the strongest nations in the world? Get your tickets early for a hope of finding out. Kelvin Hall International Sports Arena, Glasgow, Sat 28 Jan.
* The Story of Scotmid
Long before Chris Martin jumped on the bandwagon. Scotmid knew all about ethical trading. Members’ relations officer Audrey Middleton gives an illustrated talk on the history of the co-operative movement and the company's involvement with the rise of Fair Trade. National Library of Scotland, George [V Bridge, Edinburgh, Tue 31 Jan.
What sin
Tease please
Never one to hide in the corner, Morag Bruce dusts off her tassels and learns the art of Burlesque with CLUB NOIR.
uestions I had prior to my session with the
glamourites from ('lub Noir: can one be a
burlesque star with bleach blonde hair'.’ What shade of red lipstick goes best with a uniform of saucy nod and wink'.’ If one was to twirl their tassels in the Southern Hemisphere would they go the other way'.’
Strangely. the panic of how much kit I’d have to remove never occurred. This was due to how incredibly at ease Tina Warren. (‘lub Noir organiser and burlesque aficionado. made my accomplice and me feel. ‘Burlesque is very inclusive and it‘s all about having fun.’ she says. ‘Anyone of any size is sexy: as people get used to performing. their confidence grows and that's great to see.
‘However. the only way that happens is to do it. do it and do it again. Practice in front of your friends. your partner. or your mum and dad’. Oh. My. (iod.
(‘lub Nous brand of Burlesque is based on the strip tease of the 1950s and it‘s an art form to be enjoyed by boys and girls alike. No tangerine tans or Perspex chunk heels on their stage. (‘lass and sass all the way.
So. with tongue planted firmly in check. what are the practicalities of transforming into a strip tease wonder icon'.’ l‘irstly. come tip with a stage persona. This is important and career defining. My fellow novice's surname is Pretty. so she was sorted as Miss Pretty. I feel that the actual launch of my career is some time off. so I will be conducting focus groups (although probably not inviting my mum and dad) to come tip with a suitable moniker.
But as Tina says: ‘You’ve got to have a gimmick.’ It can be based on something that you do well. or
something you‘re crap at. As long as you can make a good performance out of it.
My tassel twirling would be an ideal place to start. (lood Lord. it‘s difficult. Initially. you have a good side and a bad side. I am right nippled. Like riding a bike. once you get the complex action of mini-jumping and shoulder revolving you never forget says Tina. spinning with the greatest of ease. next to Miss Pretty and me.
juddering away like a pair of hydraulic drill operators.
Next. costume and make-up. Tina advises to absolutely trowel it on. ‘Your features need to really stand out.’ One pleasing lesson was that performers cover themselves in body make-up. to even out those purpley white bits we all have. Ila! Dita Von Teese with your opalescent skin! The game is up. missy.
Returning to the sticky (carpet tape in case you‘re wondering) subject of nipple tassels. llardly the most forgiving items of ‘clothing'. but the lease and tickle of Burlesque means that you can flaunt your best and hide the rest under a fabulous costume. ‘You’ll never be more naked than you would be on a beach.~ reassures the lovely Tina. There is no legs akimbo action in this game. Besides. it‘s not all about these little cones of
joy. there’s fringing. glitter. sequins and much more to
be considered.
l‘orget all that pole dancing tosh: this is true titillation (excuse the pun). Miss Pretty and I hope to be spinning (badly. it's our gimmick) on a stage very soon.
Join Club Noir to learn Burlesque at the Arches, 253 Argyle Street, Glasgow, Sat 21 Jan, see listings for details.
15) Jan I) l of) 7000 THE LIST 23