RAMBERT

lhree ixzrforinanees in

GLASGAY! Neain one year on from the introduction of (:iVIl partneiships. this yeai's ()lasgay! should prove an apt celebration of queer culture across all the art forms.

Hainbert repertoire A Steel (Ea/den and l’ondway and a new

one still to he continued.

l dinburgh. including two (EXISIIHQ pieces fioni the

BIG BIG WORLD Glasgow's own festival of Cuban and woild music is best enjoyed With a moiito in hand. Sadly. the (:igar WI“ have to stay in its tube this Illilt).

GLASGOW 1999 DESIGN MEDAL 2006 lhe l ighthcuse in Glasgow stages this annual awaid and exhibition ofteiing new design talent a chance to shine

Changing rooms

The misnomer that is reality television may be about to implode right before our faces. Brian Donaldson raises a glass eye for common sense.

f there‘s one thing that 2005 will be remembered for. it might be as the year when British TV went just a step too far. It was bad enough seeing (‘arol Thatcher drive a little red car across a high-wire roadway some I00 feet off the grotmd (though it was preceded by her mum taking ill. so every cloud and all that) and possibly even worse witnessing a -eyed psycho getting jiggy with a tiny

'ag hag (ieordie freak on Big Brother. But surely the

worst crime was

n n'tt l by Eiihnlnly LVLaughan BE and his Space

Cadets (surely a programme title which has been waiting for an idea to be latched onto it rather than the other way round). For those fortunate

AMERICA'S enough to have been living on

Mars or at least operating at arm's length from a copy of Heat. the show featured a batch of folk aged between l‘) and 28 who quite fancied becoming astronauts. lixcept that the whole thing was a ghastly £5m ruse in which the contestants were duped into believing that they were heading for the outer limits when in fact they would never actually set foot beyond UK‘s boundaries. You can’t even say that these poor sods had it coming while mucky Makosi and co could only ever be described as egomaniacal cash-mad fools. Since when was being gullible a crime that deserved public humiliation and psychological damage whose scars could last a lifetime‘.’

While Americans have been mopping tip this sttiff for years with the likes of My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss. There's .S'mncI/Iing About

EVIDENCE THAT WE'RE REFUSING TO BE

l l

Miriam and The Joe Sch/no Show. this was fresh territory for British viewers. 'l‘hankfully. the thin end of the wedge has already been breached. With Space ('mlcts' viewing figures having plummeted faster than Challenger. it’s ttnlikely that (‘liannel 4 will take such a risk again and. with a bit of luck. the rest of the channels will follow suit.

For 2006. let‘s hope the creative types will

make it a year of self—improvement instead of self-loathing without any possible hope of

redemption. And the initial signs are positive.

FIDDLE 2006 SCOTLAND lhis festival of fine STREET SCHOOL fiddling) at the Assembly MUSEUM

Last chance to see the Centenary Illuminations. in which footage is projected onto the bUlldlngS.

H()()lltf; should get i(i|fll)tlf(_]li tapping its feet

BB(‘3‘s Worst Case Scenario is based on the best-selling books giving advice on how to survive any potential disaster that life throws at you. including escaping from a car sinking in water to delivering a baby in a taxi. Sky ()ne‘s Change the Day You Die examines the unhealthy lifestyles of seven members of the public and reveals just how many years of life they are recklessly throwing away. offering them a way to a better life without a smirking presenter in sight.

Of course. the lfS shows no sign of abating this debasement with Beauty and the Geek (all-Atiierican beauties hook tip with all-round nerdy dweebs to see if romances can spark) and Black White (families swap races for a month) btit for once there may be some evidence to suggest that we are i‘eftising to be America‘s lapdog. Unless they create a show called lt’c'n' Britt's/I. (ir’l Us Out (if/1U)? 50 We (‘un Bt'i‘mnt’ America 's' [xi/)(irlgs Again. Hosted by (‘illa.

Six things that a traditional Scottish bank manager would stake his own house on

CASINO ROYALE (Nov) Daniel Craig makes

his debut as Bond. having been unveiled as the new 007 on Roger Moore’s 78th birthday. Weird, eh?

RADIOHEAD (Jun) The bonkers Oxfordians

Thief follow-up. Incredible? Impenetrable? Maybe. Unpredictable certainly.

give us their All Hail to the .

i i l l l

With the P82 having sold

match that at the very least. It‘s game on, probably.

TUTTI FRUTTI (summer) John Byme is adapting his own classic telly series as the landmark show of the Scottish National Theatre’s opening schedule. ls Robbie Coltrane still

PLAYSTATION 3 (Jun)

some 100 million units. this year’s version will

young enough to make a Majestic comeback?

may not be a blockbuster by Hollywood standards, but it's certain to be the most screened artist— directed film to date.

ZIDANE (May) Douglas Gordon‘s feature flick on the Real Madrid galactico

DAN BROWN (Dec) He sold one or two copies of some book about secrets and codes. The Solomon Key might shift a few as well.

b 10Jan 2000 THE LIST 23