Reviews
litQAl l)H/\M/\S WALLIS AND EDWARD Scottish, Sun 18 Dec, 9pm 00.
WHATEVER LOVE MEANS Scottish, Wed 28 Dec, 9pm 0
Despite reams of statistical evidence that fewer modern day Brits could give two hoots about the Windsors than at any previous point in history, ITV is serving up a pair of bloated royal dramas to accompany the turkey, trimmings and sherry trifle this Christmas. With Whatever Love Means, it’s impossible to tell whether this sub-Jilly Cooper offering was intended as straight drama, with Charles and Camilla cast as a pair of star-crossed lovers. Regardless, it plays as parody, the budget having clearly been blown on recreating the Trooping of the Colour, the risible script and stiff performances reducing the characters to grotesque Spitting Image-style Hooray Henrys and Sloane Rangers. At one point, Laurence Fox’s nice-but- dim Charles defends his meetings with Rod Hull’s ugly younger brother to Princess Anne. ‘We’ve been riding together. That’s all.’ ‘Yes,’ sneers Anne. ‘Andrew tells me Camilla rides very well.’
Altogether better is Wallis and Edward though this treatment of that other notorious love-against-the-odds royal saga does gloss over some of the less savoury aspects of Edward Vlll’s life, such as his fascist sympathies. Joer Richardson makes a sassy, spirited Mrs Simpson, while Stephen Campbell Moore is genial and charming as Our Smiling Prince. Their relationship at least has a frisson of passion about it, while the Charles-Camilla-Diana love triangle carries no tension whatsoever. Overall, though, the producers haven’t shed enough new light on this old chestnut to provoke us into caring afresh. (Allan Radcliffe)
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ROBINSON’S TITANIC ADVENTURE Channel 4, Tue 20 Dec, 9pm 00.
James ()aiiier‘on brought the bum numbineg long l‘rtarirc movie to cinemagoers in 1997 after diving down to the .'./r'eck. 12.5) miles below the Atlantics suilace. Now he's embarking on his last trip to the iconic ship. and lony Robinson's there too. in a submarine so small you have to take pills to stop you tarting. Robots on fibre optic umbilical cords glide into the decaying rooms and corridors. r' zvealing glintrng tiles in the lurkish bath house for the first lllllt}. and the partly-obscured face of a clock on the riiantelprece in a first
cl; ss (Iéll)lll, Did the hands stop at 2 04’? Or was it 2.20?
While exciting for the litanrc connoisseur. there's a |i:tle too much padding to Justify the feature length running time. Robinson is affany self effacing throughout. but you Wish he had Just one more cunning plan when the dive comes to an end. (Robin l eei
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EVENTS THAT CHANGED OUR WORLD
Five, Fri 23 Dec, 7.30pm 000
Compiled from the results of a Had/o limes poll. {NONI}; l/iat Changed Our World puts ten iconic post WWII moments into a pop history nutshell. Michael Buerk. an amusineg macabre presence in black (Tireatcoat and leather
gloves. is charged wrth linking them together Ranging from the Iranian revolution to the tail of the Tyrrin lowers. contrasting Martin Luther King's exaltation Willi the controyeisial establishment of lsi‘ael. and setting the fall of the Berlin Wall next to the invention of the World Wide Web. it's a good excuse to roll out the archive footage.
lhe iiievrtable talking heads are hit and in ss. however. Brain scientist Baroness Susan Greenfield on the moon iandings’? Not the best choice. A better pick is explorer Sir Hanulpli Fiennes. who comments on the Cuban missile crisis; it turns out he was stationed along the Iron Curtain With the British Army at the time. so has an uncommon perspective. iHobin leer
(Ll lll.l)H[ N‘S DRAMA THE S W QUEEN
BBCt, Sun 25 Dec, Sam .0.
Boy meets girl. boy runs off With Winter Witch. talking raven sends girl off in rescue old Hans Christian Andersen could certainly knock out a fairytale or two. And boy. could he pack them full of moral lessons for youngsters.
The English Harem Scottish. lire 27 Dec. 9pm Martine McCutcheon and Art Malik star in this tale of love across the cultural barricades. Comic Strip Presents . . . Sex, Actually C/ia/irie/ 4. Wed 28 Dec. 9pm Original Strippers Rik Mayall and Nigel Planer are ioined by Robert Bathurst. Rebecca Front and Deon Mackichan for this tale of sex. Wife swapping and murder.
Return of the Goodies 880?. Hi 30 Dec. 9pm the [Us (:ult trio return for one night only. Who Killed the British Sitcom? Channel .1, Mon 2’ Jan. 9pm Was it Babes rri the Wood? Elizabeth David: My Life in Recipes 880;). lire 3 Jan. 9pm lhis factual drama about the first lady of food stars Catherine McCoimack and Greg Wise.
Derren Brown: The Heist ()r'raririe/ 4'. Wed 4 Jan. 9pm Can Dex/a persuade a group of responsmle. middle management business types to take part in an armed robbery from which they could run off wrth $100000? Presuriiably. yes.
In this adaptation of one of his less tired yarns. ‘-.'.re'ie treated to star turns from Juliet Stevenson and the ‘.oice of Patrick Stewart. while we also get one of the WUISI Scottish accents to haye appeared on l\/ iii sonie time and a narratiye hurried along through poem and opera. lhe whole thing nas a grainy, storybook finisn
It's a lush and yery \voithy piece ot festiye programmingindeed. though there seems to haye been little thought as to whether this sort of thing really does it tor children. especially when Sky One Will no doubt be churning out a Siriipsoris or six. (Mark E (linundsoni