POTTER'S GOTTA
LOTTA DOSH
Christmas comes early at Hogwarts I After 18 weeks in the doldrums, cinema got a box office hike when the fourth outing for Harry and his muckers grossed £15 million in its first three days. ‘smashing four box office records in the UK alone’. according to The Sun. Listings magazine Time Out reported that the film ‘grossed more [in London] than the rest of the top ten movies combined'. This success was repeated in other countries where Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 3 opened. including in the US. where it took over $101 million in its first : weekend. But despite the good news for the film industry, the press couldn‘t resist a juicier story. ‘The growing
pains of Harry Potter have their compensations,’ crowed The Sunday fimes. ‘Daniel Radcliffe. 16. the actor ; who plays the boy wizard, has ' become Britain’s richest teenager.’ Its reporters had trawled through
accounts filed to Companies House
to estimate that Radcliffe is worth at least £15m following the fourth episode. and the world’s news E agencies trumpeted the story around the globe. As the Daily Mail went on to clarify, ‘16-year-old Radcliffe has overtaken Charlotte Church in the wealth stakes after signing a contract worth 28 million to make the fifth Potter film.’ Guess he won‘t be going back to the Dursleys' next summer.
KEANE TO BE GREEN?
Football goes crazy about crazy footballer
I What planet do directors of big i
clubs live on? Roy Keane may well be one of the finest midfielders in
British football, but if stories from , Manchester United are to be i
believed, putting him in your side could be like dumping a hungry tiger in a battery chicken farm. Not that this stopped clubs from clamouring to let him loose on their dressing rooms. The Telegraph even set up a ‘Keanewatch’ section on its website. As we went to press, it reported that Portsmouth were the latest club to express an interest, and that chief executive Peter Storrie ‘admits his outfit are in “a queue of about 40 clubs”
chasing Keane’s services’. But, as China’s People’s Daily (among
12 THE LIST l—-15 DOC 2005
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SKI MAGAZINES
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I Are you itching for aching thighs and a face full of snow? As the northerly winds begin to howl, ski enthusiasts are already warming up their gear. Fall- line Skiing magazine is aimed at the hardcore: the kind of off-pisters who routinely throw themselves down vertical mountainsides, towards jagged, rocky outcrops and get chased by avalanches. ‘103 testers and three hospital visits later, we unveil the best skis of 2006,’ the cover announces gleefully. In another report, titled ‘wtf?!’, skier Tanner Hall manages to jump the 120ft Chad’s Gap - ‘the world’s most notorious backcountry jump'. ‘Unfortunately,’ the article continues, ‘he fell victim to the Gap on the next
attempt, breaking both his ankles.’
I By contrast, Daily Mail Ski & Snowboard glides across a completely different planet, where the snow is smooth and safe and there’s plenty of Deep Heat cream for bruises or sprains - oh, and lashings of venison casserole for tea. ‘Mickey makes everything peachy,’ it advises. ‘The Mickey Mouse Ski Club in the Austrian resort of Neustift takes kids on a programme of fun and adventure. lf Mickey's ears can
handle the cold, so can your kids’.’
I Perhaps most interesting for List readers keen on catching some winter snow action, but who don’t fancy a spell in A&E afterwards. Dark Summer is a freebie zine available from ski shops. Aimed squarely at people who enjoy ‘good company, good snow, and a beer in the bar afterwards’, it also revels in plenty of high-tension ‘freeride’ and ‘freestyle’ action photography. Don’t know the difference? Then get with the programme, dude.
countless others) said, ‘It is understood that Celtic are Keane’s first choice.’ Cue a flurry of anxiety from Scotland’s footie columnists, including the Evening 17mes’ Ronnie Culley (‘the spectre of Roy Keane is hanging over Celtic’) and Kilmarnock assistant manager Billy Brown in The Daily Record: ‘When there is very little between so many of the teams in the SPL it is hugely important to have a real sense of togetherness. That’s why Killie
Keane,’ he wisecracked.
‘Something tells me he won’t sign for Celtic,’ he added, ‘but nothing surprises me in football any more.’ Hours later, Hoops bosses duly made contact with the Irishman . . .
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‘Just get up there and give the people up the back a show. It’s much better than sounding like a fucking boiled egg and singing.’ Maybe next time, they ’/I ask Ozzy Osbourne to produce the UK Hall of Fame event.
‘We were pleased he was in the documentary and we understand that he’s got a day job and we haven’t.’
A collective statement from the Take That chaps after Mr Williams failed to show up for a reunion.
‘lt’s like going to the dentist without an anaesthetic.’
The act of judging the X-Factor auditions is expressed to a tee by Simon Cowe/I.
‘I can never find extra-small
condoms. It’s embarrassing.’
Enrique lg/esias on the biggest (or weeniest) secret in pop.
‘Well, yeah, exactly. But see, in my position, you’re just like, whatever. There’s nothing that can come out of talking about that stuff.’ Perhaps understandably, Vince Vaughn is stuck for a word or two when asked what's it like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston.
‘George Bush was like a sulking child. He asked me what state Wales was in and I thought “you twat”.’ Charlotte Church reflects on a less than memorable meeting with the leader of the ‘free' world.
‘When I started out 20 years ago I could never have imagined that I would be selling out more nights at Wembley than Coldplay. And just for talking rubbish.’
Lee Evans on breaking Eddie lizards record for the most people to ever watch a stand-up comedy routine.