SACK RACE Hearts tight-lipped as manager is shown the door
I Where does the avid Hearts fan turn to for the truth about George Burley's sacking? To The Record. of course. Despite rumours of spats between the Hearts manager and his boss Vladimir Romanov, everyone was shocked when Burley was axed. but it was The Record that went beyond the predictable headlines (‘The True StOry Behind Burley‘s Departure‘ — Herald. and ‘The Real Reason Hearts Broke With Boss‘ — Scotsman). In an interview with Romanov. the paper encountered a veritable man of steel: if the club's chairman doesn‘t find a Scottish manager. 'then I will take charge of the team myself‘. So why did he sack Burley? According to the paper. ‘Romanov didn’t believe Burley could deliver a class team on the park'. despite topping the table so far this season. This prompted the paper’s chief footie correspondent to speculate that ‘replacing Burley will not be straightforward. I suspect quite a few managers will shy away. put off by fears the owner wants to call all the shots.‘ And Edinburgh's trusty Evening News took the side of the supporters. SCreaming that ‘frustrated Hearts fans demanded to be told the reason behind Burley‘s shock departure'. Who's next for the Tynecastle hotseat? By strange coincidence. Sir Bobby Robson travelled to Edinburgh a few days later for the funeral of former team mate Johnny Haynes. Perhaps Romanov is calling the shots in higher places.
MURDER HE WROTE
Irvine Welsh twists the knife
I ‘Scotland is the most violent developed country in the world,’ claimed a UN report, as it emerged that our murder rate exceeds that of Israel. Oddly enough, the report was published back in July, and the Scottish press has been quiet on the subject. But when Irvine Welsh decided to write about ‘Scotland — capital of murder’ in The Guardian, he precipitated an avalanche of comment. Former List editor Alan Taylor opined in his Sunday Herald column that ‘in Scotland, past and present, a class of Scot was raised to regard his own country as
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MAGAZINES Fluff and nonsense I You’d be forgiven for thinking that magazines devoted to pets were immune to current affairs. But no - natural fears about bonfire night safety and reports about animal rescue efforts in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina are covered in detail. But not at the expense of a whole load of cheerful stuff covered in this world of furry worship. I Your Cat caters for the dottiest feline lovers. Where else would you find pet horoscopes? (in case you were wondering, the Scorpio cat is probably jealous and obsessively devoted, and would be most compatible with a Cancer pussy). And if your cat gave you away when you got married, this is the magazine to which you really should send a photo of that special day. But it’s not all larking about: there’s plenty of sound advice on how to deal with your cat doing weird toilet stuff, and what to do if he’s killing the local wildlife. Your Cat carries a colourful mix of adverts too, including one for a CD called Relaxation Music for Your Cat. ‘It really does work!’ says TV vet Trude Mostue. I Cat World is more serious. catering largely for people who take their expensive creatures to beauty contests. If you are struggling to get hold of a poo sample for the vet, Cat World’s November issue will be your guide. Alongside useful medical advice, it also features an artist who specialises in painting felines, and is inspired by those he lives with. Unfortunately, turn the page and you'll see just how ghastly his paintings are.
Scottish habit to kick those who are down’. Is it any wonder, she asked, that valuing people so cheaply should lead them to casual, uncaring violence? But it was Ruaridh Nicoll who provided the most astute analysis in the Observer. Although ‘poorer areas often have a stronger sense of community than
,1 wealthy areas’, there is a ‘chasm’
" J - between rich and poor which is inferior and to view the road out of increasingly hard to bridge. ‘Welsh it as the “noblest prospect’". Writer called for a debate, and he is Janet Paisley suggested in the absolutely right,’ he said. ‘We need same paper that it may be ‘a to shatter this segregation.’
‘Michael Nyman could do the B-side.’
Pete Doheity discusses his vision for a muSica/ tribute to his beloved ORR.
‘They would be as well having Roger de Courcey and Nookie Bear for manager because Romanov just wants a puppet he can work.’
Ex-Heaits player Allan Preston offers a somewhat sarcastic albeit spot-on analysis of George Burley's sacking.
‘Hearing a director speak about their work was my purpose in coming. It was just an added bonus to see Madonna in fishnets.’
New York University student Ruomi Lee-Hampe/ reflects on Ma Ritchie turning up to deliver a surprise media lecture.
‘Messed-up teeth are so sexy.’
Kirsten [)unst does absolutely nothing to halt those frenzied iiimouis about a torrid fling With Shane McGowan.
‘Bring a raincoat, definitely, or at least a little umbrella that can fit in your bag, because it always rains.’ GWyneth Paltrow adwses her fellow Americans on the unlikely event that any of them ever dare to Visit the UK.
‘Yoko came up to me when l was in my 205, and she put her hand on me and said: “You are John’s son”.’ All of which must have come as something of a shock to Mr and Mrs Bono.
‘My mother was from Stornoway and it doesn’t get much more Scotch than that.’
Donald Trump shows he 's something of an apprentice when it comes to telling the difference between regiona/ity and refreshments.