HELLDECO
being killed. and I (/it/ it (’l'(’l‘ .w gent/y (II that. I broke their necks with my own hands. ()K. [5m bmkt' t/It'ir Il('('/\'.S‘.
Question from a photographer‘s assistant: ’Mr Hitler. would you ever consider stuffing one of your dogs and putting it on display."
Treblinka. line three.
Here‘s a scenario: you're on a plane bound for the Romanian getaway. During the flight you buy a Hello.’ magazine with the cover story ‘Nicolae (‘eausescuz Welcome to My (‘harming Gracious Home.‘ Once on the ground you rent a VW Golf and are on your merry way when. suddenly. a dwarf wino steps in front of the car and is crushed instantly. You’re horrified. but nobody seems too concerned and when you leave the police station a long black car awaits you. You hop in and are driven to the Palace. You're to dine with the (‘eaus‘escul Nicolae‘s first words‘.’ ‘Thank you for getting rid of that miserable little gymnast. I'd have done it myself except Amnesty International was scrutinising his movements too closely.‘
‘(iymnast'P’
'(‘ould have made the Olympics but we inspected his dorm room and his radio was set to Radio Free liurope. llungry'.”
You sit down at a dinner table made of gilded Bakelite swans inlaid with medals from what seems to have been one of Michael Jackson’s suit jackets. The table seats 36. Nicolae’s at one end and you're at the other.
‘Madame is in the orphanage tonight dispensing justice to those who require it. Kiki! Bring us our soup right now!’ The soup arrives. It‘s good. You ask Mr (‘eausescu what it is.
'(‘ream of protester.‘
You run to the main guest bathroom. As it‘s liastern liurope. it‘s difficult to tell which item does what. so. unfortunately. you chunder into Nicolae‘s personal thermal spa. Your last image
before blacking out is the room’s wide range of
creamy pastel objects. You will never wake up. You will be made into soup.
There is a consistent lesson in all of this. When someone you love gets a bad haircut. not matter how awful it is. you must compliment it. When visiting the homes of dictators. llattery will not only get you anywhere. it will probably save your life. It worked for Kiki.
This extract is taken from Dictators’ Homes by Peter York (Atlantic Books), £14.99
When ldi isn’t out butchering his subjects and denying it all to the western world he just loves to spend time gossiping on the phone to his fellow despots. He was a dreamer too, and claimed that the idea to get rid of the entire Ugandan Asian population came to him a dream. 400,000 brutal deaths later, he was ousted and ran to Saudi Arabia where this snap was taken, not in Del Trotter’s flat as one might presume.
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The Butcher of The Balkans may not have been known as the best sport - as the thousands he had murdered during his bloody eleven year reign will confirm - but this room (below) is where Slobodan Milosevic could unwind for a game of billiards.
For a man with such an antipathy towards the western world, Saddam Hussein’s taste in decor (right) was a surprising cross between a nasty Los Angeles hotel and the set of 3 Bon Jovi video, circa 1985.
Famed more nowadays perhaps for the first lady’s fanaticism for footwear, Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos liked to bling even before the term became widely used, as this shot of the happy couple’s boudoir suggests. The Marcos’ kleptomaniac tendencies during a 21 year reign meant that they became kings of unintentional kitsch. Their shoe collection was only the tip of a very tacky iceberg.