(most of grime: Nioe'n'Slea/y
Irvine Welsh and Ian Rankin may have made an attempt to expose Iidinburgh‘s seedy underbelly.
but the fact remains that to lind the right kind ol
slightly menacing backdrop to the action. the lilm crevvs had to head to Glasgow and such venues as (‘rosslands public house. situated in an area tourist guides like to describe as 'bohemian‘. on Queen Margaret Drive.
It is here. perhaps unexpectedly given the yummy mummy ratio. that some ol‘ the loveliest grimy venues co-exist with the Starbucks. the delis and ()ran .\Ior. I start yvith a late morning brovvse in some ol' the independent and second- hand shops to be l’ound along Ruthven l.ane. With its uneven cobbles. llaking paint and laded homemade signs. you‘d be l‘orgiven l‘or thinking you‘d stumbled into I)e| Boy’s dodgy garage but those vvho persevere dovvn to the end ol‘ the road are greeted by the charms ol‘ second—hand outlet (ilory IIolc. yvhere I spot tvvo pairs ol‘ Kurt (ieiger shoes retailing for £25.
The next task. linding an eatery that qualilies under the description ol' grimy. is not a mission to be relished. but alter some assurance from the editor that the title is not to rellect the cleanliness of the tableyvare. but rather a down to earth approach. I make a beeline for the North Star (‘ale on Queen Margaret Drive.
This diminutive corridor ol~ an ‘Iberian' cale has three rickety tables. unpainted vvalls and a smattering ol‘ local notices about lost cats are about the size of it. But choosing from the menu scrayvled in red crayon across the vvall tiles
(think steyvs involving chick-peas. slices ol tortilla or simple thick bacon sandvviches) or
sampling one of the slabs of home—made cake is enough to convert me to lberianism.
The (‘arlton Bingo (‘lub on I)umbarton Road. a l‘ormer dance hall knoyvn al'l‘ectionately by its ()AI’ populace as the I‘&Ii is the venue lor the
afternoons entertainment. The session kicks oil
at 1.45pm. but the hall opens Irom 10.45am.
enabling the dedicated tans to get a couple ol
drinks in before the action. There are no ‘legs eleven‘ or ‘clickety clicks' here: it’s hardcore calling at breakneck speed and I can barely lind each number on my card to daub vvith by lat bingo pen below the pensioners clean up on the cash front. I leave the hall and head to the art deco interior ol' the I'niversity (‘ale on Byres Road for a quick ice-cream to cool me dovvn (although a cup ol Bovril is another option here).
I can get a meal for “.80 at the Star Bar in
I’ollockshayvs Road bttt decide instead to opt lor
I)ub and (irub in Stereo. According to one friend in the knovv. it‘s “one ol‘ the shabbiest places ever" but on a Thursday night. all comers can chovv down an excellent meal l'or around £3.50 vvhile bopping gently to some dub and dancehall l'rom .\lungo IIi-I‘i. who claim that extreme catering in unl'orgiving circumstances is a speciality. It kicks oil. at 5pm. bill you can expect to be kept busy vy ith tunes until midnight.
THE VERDICT
I knovv \y hat you're thinking. What has this
particular l‘oray into the diverse nature ol
(ilasgovv's social scene really achieved. apart l‘rom the excuse to try ottt a couple ol spa treatments‘.’ That the city has its share ol‘ selli— conscious linery as \y ell as ample to keep the seedier socialite happy"? So lar. so nevvsvvorthy.
But whether the glit/ is beating the slea/c has to be decided by staying povver. (ilasgovv‘s enthusiasm lor her style bars and upmarket eateries ebbs and lloyvs but yvhcn it comes dova to it: the Barras. the \ice'n’Slea/ys and the cheap carryouts yvere here first and it‘ll take more than a levy scatter cushions to change that. In the end. there‘s some great glam to be had. but (ilasgoyv's grinie‘s better.
215T CENTURY GLASGOW
GLAM ALTERNATIVES
I Cruise round Glasgow’s most upmarket shopping mall, Princes Square. Its combination of Reiss, Jo Malone and Space NK, among others, makes it the ideal venue for spending some serious cash.
I Have a nibble at the G1 venue of your choice. Glasgow’s young trendies are just lapping it up and if there’s no chance of stopping Stefan King, you may as well join them. The Social on Royal Exchange Square is one of the best starting points.
I Get into some old-style glam at Vegas on the Renfrew Ferry. Not the most chic venue but a chance to hang with the cool cats and dance with the sugar daddies to some swinging Sinatra. Nice.
GRIME ALTERNATIVES
I Shopping at Watermelon on Great Western Road, where the shelves are stuffed with patterned skirts, military jackets, vintage Levis, soft leather bags and the pick of the styles from the 405 to the 905 waiting to make a comeback, and starting at around £15. See Shop, page 39. I Eating at Monster Mash. Expect classic British dishes from shepherd’s pies and banana splits as well as the Byres Road venue’s speciality, a range of Crombie’s sausages served on a choice of three types of mash and gravy. Milkshakes, sherbert dip dabs and cheap prices make it hard to get a seat at one of the blue formica tables.
I Murder on the dancefloor at the Riverside. You’ll have to queue in a dark alleyway to get a corner on the sweaty dancefloor or sit at a candlelit table in this venue where the black _ walls are encrusted with smoke, but club nights such as Saltlick make it a favourite.
iv“) THE LIST 7