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Our own pop pixie has already demonstrated her predilection for the Rat Pack era in Celebrity Fame Academy. But what’s EDITH BOWMAN’s problem with poultry?
In which time in history would you love to have lived?
I snould love to have been around in the Rat Pack era. I think I would've absolutely fitted in there. I lone an excuse to get dressed up. and there's a ltfitl romanticism associated with that era.
Your house is on fire, loved ones and pets are safe. If you had a chance to go and retrieve one thing, what would it be?
lxly iPod. because I have an iPod photo. so not only would I have most of my record collection. but also pictures of all my favourite people and
ti .liith.
What’s the longest time you’ve slept soundly in one go over the last five years?
used to be a really bad sleeper. but since I 51;“le yoga I've learnt to relax more. The longest l'w: slept was probably after Glastonbury last year. I must have slept for a good 14 hours.
What was the last thing you stole?
()ne of those rubbers that smells of blackberries ‘.‘.'lleit you use it. It was from a little stationery shop when l was little.
If you could wake up tomorrow and have
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obtained one ability what would it be?
I’d get up earlier. I'm a lazy cow in the mornings. I’d like to have the drive to get up earlier and get things done before work, and then I wouldn't be rushing to meet deadlines.
How many times a day do you look in the mirror?
Conscioust about three or four. just to check that I haven’t got any toothpaste on my face. and just before I leave the house.
Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? The only one that I can ever remember is ‘If she doesn't like the handbag she can go fuck herself.’ What, if anything, is too serious to joke about?
Chickens.
What’s your favourite biscuit?
Shortbread. Home-made if possible.
What song would you hate to be played at your funeral?
Nickelback’s ‘You Remind Me’.
How big do you tip in restaurants?
I’m quite good at tipping because I grew up in a hotel and I hate people who look down their noses at people who work in bars and restaurants. Have you ever exploited your position to get something?
You don't take advantage of it, although I did get given a Jaguar X8 for the weekend. as I had to do a review for The Sunday Times.
Who would you like to play you in the film of your life? Who do you actually think would play you?
I would like Scarlett Johansson to play me, but it would probably end up being Jeanette Krankie. When did you last dance?
This morning, actually. It was to ‘Block Rockin' Beats’ by the Chemical Brothers.
Can you cook? If so, what’s your signature dish?
I used to visit Italy a lot. so my signature dish is alio olio peperoncino. It‘s one of the simplest spaghettis you can make. and it's just gorgeous. When did you last cry?
This morning. I had to listen back to audio I recorded in Africa for a radio documentary. l was interviewing women in nutrition centres waiting for medical attention. and the combination of the stories and the sound of children in pain in the background was just really upsetting.
What makes you good at what you do?
I'd like to think that I'm genuine and honest, and that I‘m just myself.
What’s your biggest regret?
Not picking up piano lessons when l was a kid. I‘ve got a piano at home now and I’m starting to learn to play again.
You could quit your job and start afresh tomorrow and have the skills to do something completely new. What would you choose to do?
I would like to be a marine biologist.
Are you a cat or dog person?
Cat. although I'm allergic to most animals. It’s a pain in the arse. to be honest.
What’s your all-time favourite sitcom? Something boring like Friends. At the moment I’m loving Arrested Development. A mate of mine told me about it and it’s one of the funniest things ever. What do you like least about your life?
I don‘t get home to see my family and people as much as I'd like. I get up to Scotland every couple of months, but I‘d like to see my nephew a bit more often.
What do you like best about your life?
Pretty much all of it. I‘m extremely lucky in what I
do. and that I enjoy it. I hope it doesn‘t come across that I take it for granted because I do feel extremely privileged and lucky to be doing what I'm doing. My life's sweet at the minute.
I Edith Bowman presents live coverage from T in the Park, 9th 8. 70th Jul, I —4pm on BBC Bad/o I plus TV coverage on BBC One/ Two Scotland and BBC Three.
HERE ARE SOME TOP TIPS FOR SURVIVING THE HEATWAVE THAT'S FINALLY UPON US (ALLEGEDLY).
Drink lots of your own water
In recent heatwaves in Australia and South East Asia. it was estimated that over 1000 people living in remote areas saved their lives by drinking their own urine.
Stay indoors with an old person
Help the Aged has already announced its fears for old people living alone this summer and has asked people to check regularly on their elderly friends. neighb0urs and relatives. While hanging out with an old person you can ask their many visitors to bring round a carton of iced tea and some salad.
Hang around cemeteries
Everyone knows the coolest place is beneath the ground so why not hang out in scrne unfilled graves? They are cool and. unlike a subterranean shopping mall. they are not full of those terrible hooded youths.
Get a job in an abattoir/fish factory
In the summer months there is no place colder than the 'snap' freezer rooms in abattoirs and fish factories across the land.
Ice
No. not frozen water but crack cocaine. No drug. if over-indulged in, can reduce your body temperature Quicker.
Go to Antarctica
You might get washed away by the crumbling, melting ice c0lumns which are soon to sweep across the world and return us to seafarers and fishermen, but there really is no place cooler to be than Lake Vostok. which. year in, year out. registers the lowest temperatures anywhere on the planet.
Freeze your house
In the Tahitian heatwave of 1938. scientist and artist Roberto von Stilt was so hot that he deoded to build ducts into his holiday home which WOuld carry vaporised Ice into every room. With a lot of help from local workers he managed to rig up a basic machine. which carried icy moisture into the bedroom and the kitchen. Unfortunately. on the first night of using the machine his wife and their two small Chihuahuas were aSphyxiated by Subsidiary gas. Stilt never recovered from the grief and committed Suicide in Burma in 1942.