Size matters
The world’s biggest bands are coming to Scotland, but what do
you get for your money? James Smart weighs up the vital statistics.
What you get
Irishmen, one of the best back catalogues in rock and a large box of
Scotsman, some chat about world affairs and several comforting
guitarist, a mandolin player, another underwhelming new
Ringo Starr’s son and a setlist evenly split between stodgy newies
O I ‘ O - O 0 playing to 45,000 at Hampden 60,000 at Bellahouston 50,000 at Glasgow Green 45,000 at Hampden Park 44,000 at the SECC on Park on Tues Park on Fri 1 Jul on Tues 14 Jun and Wed 29 Jun Sun 12 Jun, Easter Road 21 Jun (SOLD OUT) Balloch Country Park on (SOLD OUT) on Sat 25 Jun and Rugby (SOLD OUT) and Sat 2 Jul Sat 18 Jun Park on Sun 26 Jun What you pay £50 £32.50 £35 £32.50 From 235 (plus booking fee) PBM 12.50 £8.12 £11.60 6. (Price/Band Member) 2 E 50 235 Four middle-aged Three Englishmen, a A bald singer, a grumpy Two warring brothers, Elton
Supported by
guitar effects anthems record and ‘lt‘s the End of and soaring classics the World as We Know It’ Interpol Supergrass, Richard Hawley (14 Jun), To be confirmed Lulu (25 8. 26 Jun)
Morning Runner
Zutons, Ambulance Ltd (18 Jun)
(album sales/annum)
Have previously Talking Heads Embrace The Police St Etienne Patti LaBelle & the supported Bluebells Age 28 7 25 13 40 Album sales 120 million 15 million 50 million 35 million 200 million ASA 4.3 million 2.1 million 2 million 2.7 million 5 million
Misdemeanours
The God-bothering quartet have generally behaved themselves, if you excuse the Edge‘s
hats and Bonds ego. Adam Clayton — who once missed a gig due to drunkenness, was arrested for marijuana possession and got his knob out on the cover of
Achtung Baby — has
done his best.
As well as writing stuff on his hand and describing shareholders as ‘the great evil of this modern world’, Chris Martin recently risked all to hug Noel Gallagher at a secret gig in east London. Having scaled a speaker stack to get to Monobrow’s balcony lair, Martin was forced to leap the 15 feet back to the stage.
On a 2001 BA flight. guitarist Peter Buck sprayed a steward with yoghurt, wrestled with the exit door and allegedly informed one attendant that ‘You are just a fucking captain and I am REM.’ Buck escaped without punishment after blaming a sleeping pill and being bigged up by Bono as ‘famously peaceful'.
Do altercations on planes, arrests on ferries, drug busts in London and brawls in Germany count? Noel may have stopped wishing AIDS on his rivals, but Liam is still a font of kindly advice. ‘l’ll rip his fucking vocal chords out any day,’ he said of Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears, ‘because he’s fucking rubbish.’
The former powder hound says he can’t see snow without dreaming
of cocaine and claims that his mid-805 weed habit gave him growths on his vocal chords. In the last year he's accused Madonna of lip- synching, George Michael of becoming a recluse and TV show American Idol of being ‘incredibly racist‘.
Rival thoughts
‘What matters is having a picture of U2 on the wall, and trying to pump enough logs to take out the Drago that is U2 - that's our mission.‘ Chris Martin on U2 and Rocky IV
‘lt’s amazing what Chris is doing.’ raves Bono. ‘He’s not just in a brilliant band, there is a moral compass there.’
‘God,’ said Kurt Cobain. ‘They’re the greatest. They’ve dealt with their success like saints and keep delivering great music.’
‘They spent all their time fighting and ligging,’ grumbles Elton. ‘In the end. they self- combusted. They became Spinal Tap. You've done 12 shows in the US? Fuck off!’
‘There has never been a cool keyboard player,‘ says Liam Gallagher, who wears shorts and knows about this sort of thing, ‘apart from Elton John!
Blame them for?
The continued existence of stadium rock
Keane
Everyone who's ever dedicated ‘The One I Love’ to their other half.
‘Sunday Morning Call’, ‘I See a Liar’, Ocean Colour Scene
‘Candle in the Wind'. Especially the version about ‘England's Rose'
Love them for
A hundred spine-tingling epics
‘Clocks’
‘Nightswimming'
The best debut of the 905
‘Tiny Dancer'
See Rock 8. Pop listings, page 74 for more details.
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