‘IT WAS LIKE GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY DICK’
Gu sreac ion
CHUCK PALAHNIUK simply loves to freak his readers out. Brian Donaldson girds his loins, crosses his legs and bears some true tales of terror in Haunted.
I all started last September in Portland. Oregon when two people fainted. Two days later in Seattle. another pair of men passed out. Over the next week. seven more keeled over and from Bologna to Beverly Hills and Leeds to l.as Vegas. the same thing just kept on happening. The most extreme reaction was prompted at (‘olumbia L'niversity where paramedics saved one man from choking on his own vomit. The trigger for this disturbing phenomenon was one short story by (‘huck Palahniuk about three instances of experimental masturbation gone horribly. disgustingly. violently wrong. He's called it ‘(iuts' for yery good reasons which are not especially fit for print in a family publication. liven Playboy balked at letting this vision of hell out to its tender readers. This kind of extreme reaction to out-there material is well familiar to Palahniuk. the man who created the grotesquely nihilistic l’it’lll ('lu/i. the blaspheming ()edipal ('lm/w and the tortured artistry of Diary. But when his readers get hold of lluunrr'rl. his new novel of 34 stories including the notorious '(itlts'. does he really want them to flick through it with book in one hand and sickbag in the other'.’ ‘When a story is so extreme that my friends refuse to listen. then I feel I'm forced to tell it in public.‘ explains l’alahniuk. "lo
me. the stories in Haunted are just different aspects of
human behavior. And most of them are true anecdotes. told to me by people. then smudged to protect the folks who lived them.‘
In lluunrml. a bunch of would-be writers gather together in a mysterioUs location. organised by the sinister. wheelchair-boilnd .\lr Whittier. For three
months. they are holed away under the pretence of
penning great literature. but slowly the true malevolent purpose of their hellish host is revealed. All of the residents have a real-life story to tell and none of them is particularly pleasant. As well as ‘(itits'. there are stories of death by lieng Shui. a murderous bowling ball and a detective being dismembered.
'In a way. Haunted is a romance.‘ Palahniuk insists.
‘Much of what keeps those people together is their
desire to be with other people. They're so scared that they‘d rather be in a dysfunctional "family" than re- enter the outside world and live a lonely life. surrounded by strangers.’ This cast list of strangers are linked by their aim to create great art and the odd names they're given. through their sins. crimes and
faults. So we have Lady Baglady. the Duke of
Vandals. Sister Vigilante and Saint (iut-Ir‘ree. The latter. of course. gets his moniker through the sordid act which ends in unspeakable agony.
It all makes you wonder how much l’alahniuk is writing from his own hurtful experience. (‘an he feel his characters‘ pain‘.’ ‘I once dislocated both shoulders in college. In my panic. l twisted both arms until they were forced back into their sockets. It hurt for months and I can still hear the related "popping" sounds of the joints coming apart and then together.‘ ()uch. ‘But even that pales compared to passing a 9mm kidney stone in l9‘)7. It was like giving birth through my dick.~ l‘eeling faint yct'.’
Haunted is published by Jonathan Cape on Thu 2 Jun.
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THE BEST BOOKS, COMICS & EVENTS
>l< All 8mm! Her last novel gained her a slot on the Booker shortlist and we all have high hopes that the lnverness-born author will do at least as well with her new one. The Accidental. about a family at war with a mysterious stranger. Though Smith herself is less than bothered about silly prizes. See feature, page 16. Hamish Hamilton.
* Chuck Palalmluk His short tale ‘Guts' has already had a somewhat profound effect on audiences at readings. And it’s not even the creepiest story in Haunted. See preview. Jonathan Cape.
* Frank Mlllor With the movie of Miller's classic strips, Sin City, about to assault our senses. there’s no better time to dip into his noirish S&M world of muscular men, big- breasted dames and all manner of miscreants with this seven- book reissue. See feature, page 24, and review. Dark Horse/Titan.
=l< Janch Galloway The acclaimed Glasgow scribe (pictured) reads from and chats about her last epic tale, Clara. Which is great, but her legions of fans just want to know when she’ll have a new one coming out. North Edinburgh Arts Centre, Thu 2 Jun.
>l¢ Debut Authors Festival Just to show that the world of books isn’t just about bestselling writers and bumper spin-off movie tie-ins, here's a weekend event with debutants debating the odds about being published for the very first time. Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh, Fn' 3—Sun 5 Jun.
26 ivlay»:} Jor‘ 21305 THE LIST 31