WHY DID THE CARRY ON TEAM NEVER TAKE ON THE CRUSADES?
Fr go and gold
Paul Dale welcomes Ridley Scott's new Crusades epic KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. but knows he's going to be disappointed.
lo\e the ci‘uxadex. No. that's wrong. 1 line It tit/iiie ahout the ci‘tixadex. It all goes hack to a cinema ad\ei‘ti\einent I used to \ee in a \ariet} ol pixx stained lleapitx throughout the WSW: it \\.i\ loi ('ruxader \utx and in it a hadl} aniinaled crusader knight danced to the iingle. ‘||e_\ ('rusader. ha\e ton an} nuts. he got \\ho|e nuts and t".il\oli\. almonds and casheudi |or some reason. something; registered deep in lll\ ceiehelluin and helore l knen it I has lr_\in;_' to yet a handle on these hloodthirxl} periods ol (‘hrixtian iinperialixin. Hetueen lll‘lF aitd II‘ll l1uropeil-neland and l'rance niainh i \xaeed nine crusades on the .\lidd|e l'..t\l to claim hack the \acred cit} ol .leruxalein iand inan_\ trade routes! lioiii lhoxe lilth_\ inlidel» Men as a \ollrltt‘ailted school child the lraudulence and l‘ointlexxnexx ol the crusaderx‘ endea\our\ hecaine iiiiicld} apparent to me. .\nd _\et 1 loiiiid it dillicult to put doun these tales ol loll}. greed. hlood. meat and insanity l‘he crusades. ol courxe. had their origin\ in the hreakdou n ol tlte Roiiian l‘ranlcixh (ierinan ('arolineian empire in pre\iou\ centurie» I‘he i'elatne \tahilit} ot l’uii‘l‘ean horderx alter the (lil'lfllalllxllli‘ll ol the
Viking“ and \ltt:_‘\ai\ gtne rive to an entire claw ol
\xarrioix \\ho no\\ had \er} little to do hut light anion; theinsehex and terrorixe tlte peasant population. ()lllh‘IS lor their \ iolence took the lorin ot catilpalglts agaith non-(‘hrixtians noticeahl} tlte R'c‘etllltlllhltt in Spain against the lxlainic .\loor\ .iitd hattlcN in Sicil}. I’ixa. (ienoa and .\ragon \\here \tarrior ('hristians lought againxt Islainie \troiigholih in Majorca and Sardinia to tree tlte coasts ol ital} and Spain lroni
\ilISillll l'.tlii\. I'hese ongoing; \\ar\ meant that the idea ol a mu against the \ilISIlIHS \\a\ not lllllliitllSlilh‘ to the Izuropean llitllttllS the lact that \illSillll\ occupied the centre ol the (‘hristian unnerxe; led l’ope (ireggort VII in Ill—ii to call upon the knights ol ('hi'ixt to go to the aid ol the H_\/.tllllllt‘ l inpii‘e in the eaxt. \\ithin lllll _\eai\ the crtoadw had hecalile .i |t_\\\oi‘d lot a htan_\ ol el'iiSSt‘S. diilli‘it‘ cl'ilSSc‘S. i‘c'll';i_\.ii\ ttllti dalix tiL'L'dS coininittcd h_\ \oiiie ol the oddext. lllit\l honkerx chalaclei‘x toil \\lll e\el' read about lit .ili_\ hook: lroiit lepi'oii\ l’ialdnin lll. iiiad Richard the l.ionheai't to lionilace and hi\ humiliation at the hands the hhnd. decrepit dope l nrico iii \enice and. ol eourxe. \tupid old i.iltll\ |\ \\ho\e ineptitude in the lield \an the end to an_\ e\pedition\ taken against the Byantinex and \ilISillllS.
’I'he point ol all thi\ is that the crusadex nere coniple\. coinpi’oiiiixed allaiix peopled h} insane. greed}. clearl} liindainental ion hoth \ltiL‘\l inen. \othine particularl} \urprixing there. hut this is the reason Ridle} Scott in A'iiigt/oiii oi lli illtll has \iinpl} \oiieht to boil don n tlte crusades into some hoiiio:_'c'nou\ me“ that takes in a line \tor}. a little hit l‘i .tllctiiljJi‘tIS illSIHlleiti l'ilc‘lill'lc‘ .tllti ‘.t load ill \[lL'L'IttL‘iLfi |t\ alw the reason \th} the llSllttii} unalraid ('iii'i'i ()ii leain ne\cr took on the crusades. for Kenneth. Sid. Hattie and Balk and the gang realised that that kind ol epic inadnev l\ ti‘ul_\ the [‘I'CSUI'\C of old} priiniti\e\. toolx. princex. heretics and .\inerican\.
The Kingdom of Heaven is on general release from Fri 6 May. See review, page 48.
Hit
THE BEST FILM & DVD RELEASES
a‘: Palindromes Todd Solondz comes over all John Waters in this disgracefully funny satire of liberals, nght-wngers. pro liters and abortonists. See review. Selected release.
>1: Machuca Rewarding childhood rites of passage movie set during the last days of Allende's seeialist leaning democraCy in l973 Chile. shortly before the Pinochet coup. See review. Gl-T. Glasgow.
>.'< Duck Season Joytiilly sparse Jariitiisclt-iiispirert Mexrcan comedy set over one day in an apartment in Mexico City where a bunch of hedonistic kids have been left in charge. See inteniiew and review. Filmhouse. Edinburgh.
$ Life is a Miracle Kusturica's primitive. joyfully pantheistic romantic romp through civil war Bosnia 1992— 95. GFf. Glasgow [Tue 3— Thu 5 .‘i/i'ay only).
>l= Sweet Smell of Success Alexander Mackendrick's superb. deeply cruel 1957 pasciuinade of the New York newspaper scene. Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis give their best perfonnances ever. Part of allmediascotland.corn's Media Season. Fi/iiihouse. Edinburgh (Fri 6—Mon 9 May only). >2: The Wild Bunch Peckinpah's masterpiece on the big screen. Unmissable. GFT. Glasgow (Wed 4 and it May only).
>.'< Mirror New print of late (1978) but fundamentally important Tarkovsky. GFT. Glasgow (77 May only).
>2: The Mayor of Sunset Strip George Hickenlooper's excellent documentary about Rodney Bingenheimer. LA's very own version of John Peel. GFI', Glasgow (Mon 2— Thu 5 May only). * Weekend Godard classic gets a lovely DVD release. See review. Artificial Eye.
* A Letter to Three Wives Long awaited DVD release of Mankiewicz's fantastic 1949 melodrama. See review. Fox Home Entertainment.
THE LIST 45