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GAY PRIESTS You can practise in Scotland I It was slow to break, but when it did. the news that the Scottish Episcopal Church is happy to welcome gay and lesbian members into the ministry spread like spring fever. Although a modest statement was posted on the church website back in February. the Scottish press and the BBC only picked up on the enlightened views late in March. The Scotsman and Evening News pitched the news as an impending war: ‘Gay bishops rift threatens Scots church’ (Evening News), and ‘Evangelicals warn of ‘battle for Church’s soul' in gay row‘ (Scotsman), while The Herald plumped for fave word of the debate: schism. The division leaves the Church of England allowing only non-practising priests into its ranks, with alliterative gifts all round for subs. The odd distinction led Jenny Hjul in The Scotsman to wonder, ‘Why is a practising homosexual worse than an idle one? Imagine if heterosexuals were asked on job applications whether they were “practising” or not.’ But the celebration of Scotland in The Guardian and by gay rights activists as forward thinking was cast in a shadow as Bishop Devine, president of the Catholic Education Commission, urged councils to back a charter preventing gay teachers from being hired in faith schools. lain MacWhirter ignored the rumblings and eulogised in The Herald about the vision of the Scottish Parliament under the title. ‘Must we be so modest as we show England the way?‘
WHAT A WAIST
I All that newsprint over a few inches The other story to get everyone in a spin was Kylie's diminutive waist. Which turned out to be not quite so diminutive after all. The 36-year-old Antipodean who kicked off a national tour in Glasgow had to break the five-day whirlwind shuttling between the SECC and her hotel, the ‘plush Marr Hall on the banks of the River Clyde' (Daily Record) to explain that no, she didn’t have a 16 inch waist. But not before the claim had women everywhere measuring comparable body parts. Vanessa Feltz hit the right catty note in the Daily Express
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by likening it to the size of a ‘swollen ankle'. The Guardian managed in the same issue to run a front page G2 story on the
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SCIENCE MAGAZINES
Laughter, miracles and digital totty
l Bloomin’ heck, science mags are good. New Scientist is full of the joys of spring with new research that proves that laughing is good for you. ‘Thirty minutes of exercise three times a week and 15 minutes of hearty laughter each day should be part of a healthy lifestyle,’ says Michael Miller of the University of Maryland. And later on, the mag reveals that altruism is actually part of human nature. ‘Any organism that helps others at its own expense stands at an evolutionary disadvantage,’ says NS. yet we do. But if all that news puts a smile on your face, a feature on the frothy nature of the universe is more disconcerting. ‘lf space-time goes pop, we could go with it,’ it says. ‘Bubbles pop in and out of existence across the cosmos . . . at any moment, it could unleash a catastrophic reaction that rips through the fabric of space.’ Ooh er.
Skeptical Inquirer - The Magazine for Science and Reason is shedding its light of clear thinking on a grilled cheese sandwich. The miracle toastie bagged its owners, Gregg and Diana Duyser from Florida, a sweet $28,000 at auction for bearing an image of the Virgin Mary. But the Inquirer isn’t convinced; it’s just pareidolia, they say.
Turning up the heat, Focus feeds the geek-dreams of its readers by publishing the winners of its Miss Digital World competition, while Science in Society explores ‘Chagas disease’. The two things are, sadly, completely unrelated.
‘phenomenon’ and to debunk the myth in its media pages. Nothing if not inconsistent. Though it did use a punning headline of such genius that the Record just had to run it again the following day: ‘Corset’s Rubbish'. Scotland's favourite red top led the way in design, mind, with the text of its article encircled by a picture of measuring tape, showing just how teeny a 16 inch corset would have been. Nice. Perhaps the best thing to come out of the whole sorry shambles was the name of the corset designen ‘Mr Pearl’. What a gem.
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‘If it doesn’t work, at least you’ve tried. I just hope it happens in my lifetime.’ (300th Best t‘alls to! a united lie/and football team Fair enough But can it mail» be done a month?
‘lt’s ironic that NBC’s most original sitcom in years is a remake, but who cares.’ Time mag's verdict on the US version of The Office.
‘Obviously, fans would love to see a movie about Darth Vader running around killing people.’
George Lucas presumably discussing exactly what isn't Ill the final Star Wars film.
‘There is no matter removed, they just dehydrate and burn away in a puff of smoke. So really, for half an hour I was inhaling and exhaling my own flesh.’
Death From Above 7979 drummer Sebastian Grainger recalls some rather vrvrd surgery he had on his throat.
‘A few days ago I went on his show and it was the most disgusting, insulting experience of my entire career. He was rude, he was stupid, he was ignorant. It was like talking to Gary Bushell in Paul Smith clothing.’
Boy George is not a fan of Jonathan Ross.
‘I’m going with a sleeping bag and a paint brush and maybe even a guitar if I can get it in the suitcase.’
Thom Yorke on his plans to travel light for a trade /ust/ce rally at Westminster.