tfieLEECH
Sucking the blood of popular entertainment
I l arewell, Gonzo. farev.’el|. It was wrth sadness and a great deal of knowrng acknoxu'ledgernent that Leech read the news on 21 February that Hunter S Thompson had taken hrs own lrfe rn the upmarket ski resort of Aspen. Thompson declared hrs love for the area Lt) years ear‘lrer for the srrnple fact that rt was 'largely lawless and allowed the rnsarze to lrve the way they should'. It was Thompson's sour‘rdbrte that ‘a word to the Wrse rs rnfurratrng' that Leech has always kept in rnrrrd whrle wrrtrng thrs rancrd column, srrnply because the wrse are so rarely the ones who need then sotrls barbecuing rn the clearly barren desert of useless cultural pundrtry In the news yord that has been left by son Juan Thompson's call for prrvacy. much has been nrade of the madness of a man who chose to shoot hrmself rn the head at the now r'elatrvely tender age of (37. In Leech's oprnron rt rs a surprise that he drdn't do rt sooner. for like London. Hemrngway. Levr. Kosrnskr. Mrshrma and all the mad. bad and truly vrsronary wrrters. he deter'mrned that lrfe rs wat too long. ueg and full of the brgger walkrng turds than they could ever drean‘. up rn a decade of nightmares. The reason great wrrters wrrte has more to do wrth surcrdal urges and rmpulses than your axerage syphillitic counsellor or psychratrrst wrll exer' know. So one shuffles off thrs mortal t:orl — so what? Thompson hated outpourrngs of false gr'ref as much as he hated corruptron and objective journalism. Let the man be Simply remembered as someone who gate much and wanted lrttle but the prryaCy and freedom of the truly bonkers. ‘For e\ en; moment of triumph, for eyen rnstance of beauty many s0uls must be trampled.‘ he once wrote. onh to later repeat the mantra: 'Some may never live. but the crazy never me
12 THE LIST 3— ‘ 7 Mm
I There rs nothrng lrke a good t"ra| by medra to get the cornfortabt», educated to frll out a lecture hall of the Royal College of Physicians in Edrnburgh on a snow, ’i‘uesda‘,’ flltllll. And so rt '\.'.'as that Leech was to be found there on the nrght of Stuart Cosgrove's lecture on rrsk and rnnoyatron rn Scotland. nibbling canapes and making small talk =.'.rrth employees of what Cosgroye calls the ‘scooter' arts rtheatre. small presses. publishersr as opposed to the Juggernaut arts lfrlm, TV and vrsuai art). Hayrng been hoodwrnked by an Observer back after ‘.“.rrrtrng only frye pages of what turned out to be an excellent lecture. Cosgroye found hrrrtself at the brtter end of a Scottrsh hate canrpargn for allegedly drsrnrssrng the Scots as berng rn love wrth farlrrre. Leech now realises that Cosgroye rs the Rabelaisian hero tlrrs land needs. So nsoyed was Leech by the man's passronate medra speak eulogy that artistrc Scotland now needs to 'relrsh the past for rts future.
fOrget steel because rt rs now trme to steal and to drearn of drxersrtyfi. that Leech almost snec a tear: ‘.-.h:|e tr‘yrng to forget that thrs the van who had just lrsted Sheer): Helrcopter Grrl and the Prrngre \’ week as a srgn that Scotrarxd rs at the tor: of rts game. Defeatist? Peo are. Leecn wrote the book.
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CHICKEN IN A POKE
Forget pigs in blankets, devils on horseback and toad in the hole - nothing compares to chicken in a bag. M&S has roasted a chicken for you, placed it in not one. but two bags. You take it out of one bag, bung it in the oven and 25 minutes later you've got succulent roast chicken. This is the ultimate culinary falsity - making it look like you did the kitchen-related graft. Bad. but so very good.
I Ava/fable from Marks 8 Sue/reef.
Nothing in life is certain. That’s a given, so why gamble? Better to just say to hell with it all. Insurance is the kind of ultimate statement of fatalism that even Sylvia Plath would think pessimistic. It’s not being safe, it's just giving you the finance to be sorry. Dog insurance? Hat insurance? What about fmit insurance in case of a bad apple? There’s one in every barrel. All the more reason to find it, fish it out and hurl it at the nearest insurance broker’s big expensive car.