thLEECH
Sucking the blood of popular entertainment
I fipeiir find two “creeks Ill front of the idiot box playing the new (British iiiadei ./l K l1)f,’/( HUM] ‘Jlf lm game has certainly done a lot foi the l melts natural anti~ Yankee fcelings. Having already missed three deadlines to deliver this column due to a rrmiiiing and overwlielniing desire to look through the crosshairs of
l ee l laivey ()sixrald's rifle and
:ss; ssinate the Catholic president from the sixth floor Window of the 'lexas School Book Depositoiy. the Leech must congratulate Traffic. the Glasgow- bastxl company behind it. It's offering a $54,000 reward to the player to most accurately rrx:reate the thrce shots fired. US pundits are delightfully up In arms about the whole thing but let's face if —r in the words of Kirk liwing. the managing diitx:toi of traffic. JFK Reloadtxl is sunply 'biinging histoiy' land a miscarriage of Itisticer 'to life'.
I What the Leech wants to know is where was the inVItation to take part III 'iaw and live sex' that Calestous Juma. UN consultant and professor of international tf(}\./(}l()l)lll()lli at Harvard University. l()(2(}l\’(}(f via email from 10 Downing Street last week. As a result of the work of spoof hackers (allegedly) it) Downing St has been handing out apologies by the caitload. while trying to resolve (fairly uiisuccessfullyi what seems to be a simple mailing list security issue.
Don't it Iust give you faith in the SCXILll'liy of the country In the (newly ignitedi nuclear age?
JFK- the movie
I Lots of good news for Edinburgh and Glasgow The famous Little White Chapel (picturedi company. the Lilx2race—inspirtxl capitalist institution that proVIdes wrxlding sewices for the deeply uninspirtxl when they Visit Las Vegas. has decided to search for a chapel in the central belt. Also after being so cruelly beaten by Dublin in a recent poll as the best place to live in the world (gang warfare did substxiuently break out in the city's Outer estates causmg certain feudalists to rethink their recent investments). Glasgow has been voted by The Observer as the best place in the UK to be an artist. What a revelation . . . not!
I Finally. Leech wants to say congrats to two very speoal ladies. First up is Kenya's Wangari Maathai (pictured) who. on 10 December. WI” be the first woman from Africa to be honoured With the Nobel Peace Prize for her contribution to sustainable development. democracy and peace. it's a shame that the next day a bunch of low life celebs will be gegging in on the celebrations. And secondly. farewell to a very great lady indeed. Emma Roca Roderigo. the Catalan worker and Peasant Bloc revolutionary. has died aged 85. Roca spent her life for and within Poum. the most progresswe of the anti-Stalinist. anti-Franc0ite political parties to Spring up dunng the Spanish ClVll War. The Leech urges you to read ab0ut her. Her like wrll not come around again.
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TEXTING LANDLINES
CYCLISTS
Would you like a posh-sounding lady with a touch of the Stephen Hawking in her voice to phone your mates and tell them, well, anything? Just text the message to their landline from your mobile. 80 electronic is the lady that she doesn't mind being scatalogically childish, chillingly romantic, creepy or just rude and annoying. What this lacks in maturity it more than makes up for with wheezing mirth.
What are cyclists? Are they pedestrians on wheels or traffic without road tax? I don’t know. And I doubt if they have a foggiest. Which seems to give them a licence to pedal wherever they wish. These psycho- lists have abused our goodwill for too long with their haphazard approach to road safety. What makes rational individuals get on their bikes and go straight off their trolleys? Tripwiring’s too good for them.